WOWBlog

World of Warcraft

Day 1

The colours are bright here, but the weather's nice. I found myself this morning in a little red canyon with some green blokes in it. They seemed friendly, although were presumptuous enough to ask me to go out and kill a bunch of the wild pigs which were peacefully strutting about. Surely somebody owns the things? I asked around, but even the people who would occasionally arrive tended to either stand around staring vacantly off into space, jump around me in circles, or simply utter 'LOL' before running away. Bemused and no more inclined to be slaughtering the wildlife, I moved on.

Day 2

I've travelled a little further afield today and found a city. The journey was a little odd. People ignored me for the most part, and those who didn't only wanted me to go out and kill more of the wildlife. I've noticed there is a lot of fauna around, and I have to admit it gives everywhere a rather rural smell. Maybe that's why everyone hates animals and all the animals hate them. Even the crabs on the beach chased me repeatedly. As I approached the city I saw a gathering of people outside the gate. Upon closer investigation they appeared to be brawling like children in random one-on-one scuffles, challenges begining and ending in that 'LOL' phrase again. The frequent blows to the head must have affected some of them, because several bounded up with foam and dribble framing their mouths, waving little flags and uttering what I now assume to be their word of challenge, 'LOL'. Eager to find civilisation though, I humoured them with smiles and nods while backing quickly away.

Day 3

The city is no less strange. Many of the people here ride strange animals from lizards to mammoths, and the streets are covered in poo as a result. The economy seems to revolve around people going out and hacking down the wildlife before selling their giblets and teeth to the multitude of blacksmiths who seem to make up the majority of the commercial sector of the city. Even more strangely, one will occasionally produce a bile covered weapon of piece of armour that an unfortunate creature must have eaten. Maybe they're being culled to prevent slow, painful death brought about by their goat-like propensity for consuming inedible items.

Day 4

I've decided to jump on board after being badgered by everyone I spoke to to go out and kill things. When in Rome, and all that. In a little village on the outskirts of the city I took on the task of culling some pigs. Erm, I mean pig men. I didn't realise it at the time, but it was more like genocide such was the sheer quantity of them I had to butcher. Still, poor dumb animals they weren't and so less appalling was my task. Hefting a shoddy axe and wearing a bizarre mismatch of shoddy armour, I ventured out.

Day 7

For three damn days I've been butchering these pig men. After a day I was starting to feel bad about it, but now I just feel numb. I've hacked up scores of them, their squeals haunt my dreams. They must breed like cockroaches, because before long there were fresh piggies in their place. I think I've done enough though. Dragging a huge sack of their weapons back to the village, I cashed it in for a few coins. With this I bought some milk, and decided to move on. The milk was a good idea, I'm getting thirsty a lot recently. Must be all the bacon I've been eating.