5punk Wiki - User contributions [en]

ReviewsQU

2014-11-12T23:38:51Z

FatherJack: /* Silverfall (review based on demo) */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews Q to U=

==RF Online - PC==
Wierd Korean MMO. I heard lots of hype about it being different and cool, but the couple of days play I gave it before getting pissed off does not show this at all. It's just another generic MMO with a mildly different setting trying to do the job of original thought.

'''Graphics'''
Nice enough, but again, not great. Also, everyone looks exactly the same. The fucking Cybermen had more individuality.

'''Good points'''
....erm...there's stompy robots....

'''Bad points'''
...but apart from the fact that they look stompy, they are just another generic MMO race. Look at the bad points for most of the above games, pretend they are all about this one. Pretty much sums it up.

''Joose''

==Rogue Galaxy - PS2==
Very nice-looking RPG in the cell-shaded style of Dragon Quest (VIII). Combat, though is a nasty button-mashy affair that basically ruined the experience. In my view, a waste.

''FatherJack''

==Saga of Ryzom - PC==
A french developed title, I believe, and you can tell. Its all so undefinably continental. One of the rare MMO's that tries to break from the standard "heres a world, theres magic elves and orks" thing, this has some original races and a pretty original (even award winning) storyline. Also features some interesting technology such as realistic modeling of herding behavour in animals and a rather nice skills system.

'''Graphics'''
Nice, but fairly bog standard. Not so bad it makes you cry, but nothing that'll make you go "oooh". Some of the creature design is rather lubberly though.

'''Good things'''
The storyline is both original and good, it tries (and mostly suceeds) to do new things without breaking stuff thats tried and tested.

'''Bad stuff'''
Nothing specific, unless you have a particular hatred for French things.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Joose''

==Silverfall (review based on demo)==
Sort of Dungeon Siege-ish. Controls not only non-defianble, but can't check what they actually are. View-spin is middle-mouse, so that sucks as mine is a smooth-scrolly one which never registers. Three monsters pop out of nowhere, I click to attack. Oh, I have to click again, for each individual attack, that's rather tedious. I die. I lose all my equipment. Apparently it's in a gravestone, right where the remaining two monsters are standing waiting for me. Erm, no thanks.

''FatherJack''

==Sin Episodes - Emergence==

Short and fairly sweet actually for an action romp. Comes free with Sin 1 and it's expansion when purchased via Steam.

On it's own, it's not bad, some nice concepts, plays fairly well. It could have done with more than 3 weapons, some sections are mean to get through, but for a pure fps action romp s'not bad, just rather short.

I suspect if Ritual hadn't have been sold on (and key employee's leaving at the time), bits would have been added in the other 8 episodes, which would have probably made up a great game when played together.

Shame really, as Ritual made some rather good games, they'll be missed.

Emergence when compared to SiN1, doesn't hold a candle to it I'm afriad, the first game was much more FUN, had more interactivity in the environment (which nearly everything could be played with), more guns, more enemies, just not as shiny gfx.

'''Score : 4.5/10'''

''Buzzmong''

==Space Empires IV - PC==

'''Introduction'''

Some of you may have noticed me playing this rather a lot this weekend, so I thought I'd chuck a review together. SEIV is a turn based strategy game in the same vein as Civlisation. Starting on your little homeworld in a corner of the galaxy, and expanding across systems in order to gather more resources for your empire. New technologies are researched along the way and other races will interact in trade and war. This isn't a new game - in fact there's a Space Empires V - but apparently it's the best in the series and it's only a fiver off Steam. Better still, it's very customisable and there are player created mods for popular sci-fi settings like Star Wars, Star Trek and Babylon 5.

'''Gameplay'''

The game is played out on maps of the various solar systems. These are linked together by warp points (like wormholes) which allow ships to travel between systems. Within the sytems are planets that need to be colonised and exploited to provide space for the facilities that support your empire and the resources with which to build them. There aren't a massive amount of facilities to choose from, but that's no bad thing as planets can be earmarked for set roles and once all the facility slots are full they pretty much run themselves.
The variety comes in the way spacecraft work. Every ship is built to a design created by the player using modules that have been researched. There's a large variety of these modules to do various things, but not so large that it's overwhelming. Ships can then be built in the spaceyards and formed into fleets. Most ships will inevitably be warships, but others can colonise planets and later in the game create or destroy them.

The early stages of a typical game will involve designing a simple ship with which to explore, while colonising the nearby planets in your starting system. Early on you'll only be able to colonise one (of three) types of planets, so most will remain empty. As your exploration of the galaxy continues other races will be met. Generally they're friendly and will want to trade (a simple mechanism that's automated), but they still seem to destroy your explorers given chance.
Colonisation of nearby worlds isn't too taxing and expansion happens pretty quickly - it's rare to be sat waiting for resources to be generated before something can be built.

Eventually the borders between empires will become narrow enough for tension to build, and other races begin to get tetchy. By this point enough research has usually been done to enable some half decent combat ships to be built, although hostilities seem to be mostly restricted to espionage and sabotage with only a few skirmishes and lots of rattling of sabres. By this point different colony types should be available and all planets will be supporting the war machine. Even so, every ship costs to maintain and they're quite a drain on the economy. Hostile planets can be put under siege or bombed in a variety of unpleasant ways so that you can recolonise them with your own people.

Towards the end of a game technology advances will allow ships to be designed that pull asteroid fields together to create new (and usually very rich) planets. After this new stars can be created, warp points opened and closed and other stellar terrain features adjusted. Combat will by now include dreadnaughts and carriers launching dozens of fighters in large scale fleet combat.

'''Sights and Sounds'''

The graphics and sounds are a little dated, but in a game such as this that's not such a big deal. What's more, all of it can be modified either by non-official mods or, if you're feeling brave, by the player. It's functional and clear though.

'''Stuff that sucks'''

Well, it's pretty ugly. That's not a big deal and it can be fixed with mods, but it might put some off. The AI isn't brilliant and tends to contradict itself, but again this can be remedied with mods. The only real complaint I've had is that there's no consistency with how many slots for facilities each planets have, so siting your colonies is a bit hit and miss.

'''Conclusion'''

It really is Civilisation in space. A little bit simpler than Civ, but also more geared to war. Anyone looking for a game that will suck up their time, and games take a very long time, might do well to invest. For the price you can't really go wrong.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Dog Pants''

==Star Wars Battlefront II - PSP==

I've played this on other consoles and enjoyed it enough to think that buying it on the PSP was a good idea. Oh dear, how wrong I was.
The lack of a dual analogue stick makes this came become almost unplayable as there is no auto-aim feature whatsoever, and the chance of lining up a long range shot (which was always necessary in the game on other consoles) is nigh on impossible.
The graphics are pretty poor as well, and add this to long loading times, well you can kind of guess the end result.
Very poorly ported across to the PSP, and I will avoid all FPS games on the PSP in future, unless they've been made specifically with the PSP controls in mind.

'''Score : 3/10''' (What should have been a quick fun game, has been turned into an uncontrollable ugly turd)

''Woo Elephant Yeah''

==Star Wars Galaxies - PC==
The star wars setting as an MMO. Be a wookie, go to tatoine and blast things. Or build houses. meh.

'''Graphics'''
Alright, but nothing special. Not totally awfull, but certainly dated.

'''Good points'''
Its star wars.

'''Bad points'''
Its actually Everquest. It just *looks* like starwars. Plus, its a hell of a lot of work to become a jedi, so dont let that tempt you. I fear it is beyond the reach of any 5punkers.

'''Score : 3/10''' (2 of which is purely because its star wars).

''Joose''

==Supreme Commander - PC ==
Most of you won't have noticed but I have recently bought Supreme commander, and have had time to have a bit of a play test. There are 3 different box sets available from each major online retailer (Play, Game and Amazon). Each box comes with a few bits and pieces centred around one of the factions, such as a poster, a postcard type thing and also a DVD with various videos, pictures etc.

'''The factions'''
As I mentioned earlier there are 3 factions. There is the UEF (United Earth Federation), Cybran Nation and the Aeon Illuminate. All three have similar tech trees and the only real difference is in the way that the units look. The UEF is basically an Earth government looking to reunite the universe as much of the human population is spread out over vast galaxies. The Cybran Nation is essentially made of cyborg-type people who were shunned by the old governments of earth and escaped to form their own. Also there is the mysterious Aeon Illuminate who are a human cult which glorified an ancient extinct alien race and looked to impress their ways on the rest of the universe.

'''Gameplay'''
From what I have played of this it feels much like total annihilation. Battles are swift and most units have just one purpose (anti-ground, anti-air and anti-sea). Resources are based around a similar system to total anihilation too with only Mass (collected from certain locations on the map) and energy (created via power plants).

'''Graphics'''
The graphics are pretty swish, from the missiles to the giant factory behemoth you can build. It does however draw quite a few resources and I found on high settings it was mushing even my ATI1900XTX. Plenty of options to turn down for you penny pinchers (dollar pinchers in deject's case)

Ok, finally to the conclusion... I'd say if you were a fan of total anihilation or of any modern RTS game you will enjoy this. Reasonably priced at £24.99 (for a brand new game) I can see plenty of 5punkers enjoying this game whether its for beating up the AI or fellow gamers.

''Killavodka''

==System Shock 2 (PC)==
Awesome game, good plot, good twists, fps/rpg hybrid. Scary atmosphere, well built. A must play.

''Buzzmong''

==Tales of Vesperia - 360==

'''Introduction'''

It's a JRPG with cell-shaded anime-style characters and a real-time battle system. It is the tenth game in a rough series, but only the second major one to be released in Europe in sequence on its original format, the first being Tales of Symphonia on the GameCube in 2003. Lucky US citizens have had PS and PS2 releases either side of that. Tales of Symphonia remains quite highly regarded and even second-hand copies still command prices equal or higher than those on release.

'''Comparisons with Final Fantasy'''

One of our newsfeeds recently compared it to Final Fantasy VII, but while it has similarities it is far from a clone of it.

In towns you move around a pre-rendered background and interact with things in a way very similar to FF. In dungeons you similarly have roaming enemies and a map (which didn't appear in FF until X) - but it differs in that the enemies are visible and avoidable. The overland sections look similar to FFVII in that you are as big as the towns, but again the roaming monsters are visible akin to FFXII. None of these things are exclusive to the Final Fantasy series though and I could list many more obvious parallels to other games which use those systems for travel.

Unlike FF the cut-scenes are rendered using the game engine, so it fits on a single DVD. It also has optional skits, where the characters talk to each in comic-book frames, in an improvement over Tales of Symphonia these are now voiced and the faces fully animated. Most in-game dialogue is in pop-up text windows and only voiced in the major scenes.

'''Battle System'''

The battle system however is unlike most other games - in that it has three modes of operation. In Manual it's effectively real-time action-based where you directly control the characters, mash attack buttons and try to pull off combos. Semi-auto is kind of the same, but targeting is done for you, which is better for long-range characters. Auto does everything for you including attacking according to the tactics you set (conserve mana, all out, etc). Because you have a party of up to four characters, they can be set independently, so you could control the healer while the swordsman is on Auto. There are some skills which can only be used in a particular mode, usually Semi-auto.

The Auto mode is improved from Tales of Symphonia, where you felt like you weren't doing anything at all, but it does still feel a little disconnected and takes a bit of tinkering with the tactics before you start to get used to influencing the battle more directly. You can switch between modes at will and keep yourself busy.

I like the Auto mode, it works pretty well for the random encounters. The game is too fast to specify turn-based commands and benefits from it. You don't get bored inputting commands for each character when you know the first attack is going to kill everything, nor do you spend ages beating weak monsters on the way to somewhere interesting - battles against wandering monsters typically only last between 5 and 30 seconds.

'''Stuff that sucks'''

Stuff isn't terribly well-explained. I had to load and re-do the combat tutorial as I didn't realise I was meant to be performing the actions while the instructions were still on the screen. I have no idea how the weapon skills are transferred to the characters - it says it is possible, and I have "learned" them, but they don't appear in their skills lists.

As is typical in the genre, it takes a while to get going. Not quite the 35 hours before the game gets started typical of the FF games, but in five hours play I've only encountered one "boss" fight.

'''Conclusion'''

Buy it if you like this sort of thing. It's a good example of the genre and the hybrid battle system is a good compromise between chin-stroking strategy and button-mashing, although if you're a zealous proponent of one of those, you'll find it a little light.

It's worth noting there's an enhanced PS3 version planned for the Autumn (in Japan) with extra playable characters, towns, dungeons, bosses and other content. No word on a western release date.

Score : 9/10

''FatherJack''

==Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas - PC==
Runs like a zero-legged dog which has been shot and buried in concrete. Uses amazing shader model 3 effects which realistically simulate having smeared vaseline all over your screen. Stupid mandatory checkpoints ensure the bad guys have you where they want you.

''FatherJack''

==UT2004 - PC==
Shiny updated Unreal dealy.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny berk''

==Unreal Tournament 3 - PC==
Alright, since I don't see any reviews of this around, let's get bashy.

'''Graphics'''
I cannot complain at all about this: it's beautiful, but it eats lots of computer resources. It's runnable on old piece of hardware, but quite frankly on my ATI Radeon X1600 it looked like Doom 2, on my current video card, which I haven't memorized yet, it's more comparable to Crysis. It uses quite stunning new effects for a change, although most of the time, these effects also make you wonder what the fuck killed you because you couldn't see anything.

'''Gameplay'''
The singleplayer mode deviates from those of the old Unreal Tournaments, in fact, this isn't even Unreal Tournament, it's more like Tabula Rasa with less RPG and more big stompy robots. In the campaign, you proceed through designated points in a fabulous unnamed planet, which makes it seem like some ghetto war for turf where you can collect protection money. A noticable thing is that the two characters who give you briefing have a black english accent thing comparable to that of MC Hammer. Otherwise, the game follows the quite pleasant shoot'n'kill-shit-esque approach of the last 4 games with the same usual gamemodes. Which is getting quite old.

The protagonist is a non-ghetto guy (for a change, yay) who has a sister (that means no sex in the game, probably), and is ordered around by two times ex-champion Malcolm who you probably fought in the last round of each Unreal Tournament previously and also bears the previously mentioned ghetto speech. The game also seems to promote spontaneous declaration of war on innocent people, which is quite good if you ask me.

Oh yes, the game stores your campaign offline and online seperately. So if you start a campaign online then login server goes down (which happens pretty often) you're pretty much fucked unless you fancy starting a new one.

'''Artificial Stupidity (AI)'''
This is so long that I have to separate it from Gameplay. Basically the game features the EXTREMELY UBERDUMB and the EXTREMELY WTFPWN AI.

The earlier ones are also known as "teammates" although "blockers" would be a better expression. These uberdumb ai guys cannot take down a single guy who only has an impact hammer in 5v1, grab the flag in CTF then run around and fight stuff, get stuck in walls quite often, get inside vehicles then drive them into a wall and don't do anything for quite a while, or the most annoying aspect, in VCTF, they get in FUCKING vehicles then while I'm bringing home the FUCKING flag on a FUCKING hoverboard they FUCKING drive in front of me yelling "LOLZ!!!!111 I COVER you're ASS!!!11". Speaking of which, they have a useful habit of telling you the position of the enemy. Or it perhaps WOULD be useful if they'd like tell you where they were. When they spot a significant enemy anywhere in the map, they yell "Enemy <lol> here!". I'm still trying to figure out where the fuck is here.

The latter ones are those who use aimbots, wallhax, instagib enforcers and everything else at the same time. You may also know these bots as "the opposing team".

'''Sounds'n'shit'''
I cannot think of any complaints here. The sound effects (along with visuals) are well-timed and also well in-place. Voice acting is great, despite the fact that most of them is unnecessary, except for the campaign stuff of course.

'''Multiplayer'''
The game suffers from minor master server problems and other major retardation. First of all, the login server crashes quite often, quite an inconvenience. If you ever manage to log in you will notice two things in the server browser: The pings are quite high. I know. I joined a 2k ping server and it played normally. And that there are little servers. Oh yes, Epic messed up by releasing early without redirect support. Practically, this means only completely vanilla servers appear in your server browser. If we put all this aside, the multiplayer is quite enjoyable, adrenaline-rising, fast paced, and although it's full of douchebags as usual, it won't really affect your experience. Unless of course they're stealing the goliaths and ramming them into mountains.

'''Overall'''
Despite all the Yathzee-style bashing on the game, I believe it's quite enjoyable. Pros are the new storyline, which finally isn't another random tournament event, the stunning graphics and sound effects, cons are the rather irritating AI and multiplayer system, but despite these, the good is still seriously outweighing the bad, and at the end of the day, you realize you are playing quite an enjoyable game.

'''Score : 7.5/10'''

''Baliame''

ReviewsMP

2014-11-12T23:10:26Z

FatherJack: /* Panyga: Golf with style - Wii */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews M to P=

==Madden NFL 07 - Wii==
As wonderfully incomprehensible to non-fans as the actual sport. Woefully inadequate tutorial for the neophyte. Disappointing amount of Wii-interaction, involving a little flick at the right time, rather than a throw. Played for a full twenty minutes before discovering I was actually "controlling" the other team to the one I thought I was, though my performance actually dropped after realising this.

''FatherJack''

==Magic Online - PC==
'''Introduction'''
OK, I know that this is probably going to recieve a fair amount of ridicule, but a number of people have been asking me about it. Rather than spend ages explaining the concept to each individual over xfire, I thought I would save time by just doing a review.

So what is Magic: Online? Well, before I explain that, promise that you finish reading the rest of the review. You see, the short explanation makes it sound extremely shit, even to a hardcore beard like myself. You promise? Ok, here I go...

Its a card game.

Still here? Right. The first thing people tend to think of when I say that is "What, like solitaire?". No, not like solitaire. Some people, who know a little more about it, say "What, like Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh?". Closer, but again, not really, no.

What it actually is, is an online version of the grand-daddy of all trading card games, Magic: The Gathering. It is exactly the same as the offline, real-card version (albiet with less arguments about rules). The game is played by you selecting your "Deck" from your card collection, and then challenging another player. The actual play is something like a cross between a stratagy game (in that you have resources, and you make armies to fight the opponent) and a puzzle game. The fun comes from outwitting an opponent. This game is all about Big Brains.

'''Gameplay'''
The play itself is, wierdly, only half the game. You see, before you can actually go into a game you need to have a deck of cards, and you put these together yourself. You can get premade ones, and they work ok, but after a couple of games you will at least want to alter the deck, if not make one from scratch. This can be because theres a card in there that you never use, and you want to remove it. Or you may have a card in your collection that you can imagine working well with your deck, and want to add it. The outcome of the actual games often rely more on your ability to put good decks together than your ability to play them.

Of course, if that side of things doesnt really appeal to you, then fret not. There is something called "netdecking", which basically boils down to downloading premade decks from the internet. Although you cant just get the cards for free, once you have the cards, the actual arranging of them into decks can be entirely done for you. Its kinda frowned upon in the community though, as the more successfull net decks get used a lot, and playing against the same deck time and again can get a little boring.

So, youve got your deck, then what happens? Well, the game is split into turns, with each player taking their turn in...er...turn. Each player has a hand (which is made from 7 cards drawn from your deck) and a deck. Each turn, a player takes a card, adds it to their hand, and can play a land. Land is the resource of the game. Each land can, each turn, be "tapped" for one mana. Non-land cards all have a cost to play, in mana. So, for example, if I wanted to bring my goblin into play from my hand, and the goblin cost one red mana, I would tap a land that gives one red mana, and put him into play. Theres also spells, like fireballs, and artifacts, that have all manner of effects. The game is won when the opponent either is reduced to 0 life (from a starting point of 20), or when they need to draw a card from their deck, and can't, as they have used them all.

So why is this fun, I hear you ask? Well, its not so much the actual playing of the cards that is fun, its the interaction the cards have with each other. You see, nearly all cards in Magic have some special rules printed on them. Things like "Whenever you do damage, you may draw an extra card" or "When this creature is played, an opponents creature is destroyed". Its the working out what cunning combinations you can make out of these rules that makes the game fun. For instance, I recently aquired a card that said "whenever a creature does damage, draw a card". I already had a creature that had "whenever you draw a card, do 1 damage to your opponent." This meant that if I could get both cards in play without the opponent removing one, all I would have to do is one damage or draw one card and there would be an infinate loop of draw card->do damage->draw card->do damage. The trouble was, the creature in question required a lot of mana, which means a lot of land. Would I survive long enough to draw the creature and play it? Would the opponent think of some way of foiling my evil combo? If he does, would I be able to think on my feet enough to still get a win from it? Thats where the fun is.

There is a book by Ian M Banks called The Player of Games. In that, a genius in games theory says that for a game to have lasting fun, it must have a balance between predictability and randomness. To predictable, and the brainiest person wins every time (like in noughts and crosses). To random, and the skill and intelligence of the player has no bearing on the outcome of the game, so the player has no control over whether they win or lose. In my opinion, Magic has this balance. You need to have a reasonable amount of brains, to be able to build a decent deck and then make the right decisions when playing it. But also, you need some luck, because the best deck in the world can be foiled by not drawing the right cards at the right time.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Now this is a tricky one. I mean, its a card game. Its not exactly going to be able to compete with the latest FPS on looks, no matter how good they are at coding it. But thats not the point: It would be like trying to jazz up chess. You can make it as flashy as you like, the core game would be the same, and *thats* where the fun comes from.

So yes, it looks aweful. In fact, it looks like it was coded for windows 3.1. And the sounds are equally bad; Ive turned em all off except for the beep that tells you its your turn to do something. However, there is a flip side to this. Its got roughly the same system requirements as minesweeper. You can, therefore, play it alongside doing other stuff on your computer, no problem. I used to play whilst I played EVE (back when I did play EVE), as the game not only requires very little of your computer, but as its all turn based, goes at whatever speed you feel like (as long as your opponent doesnt mind.)

Also worth mentioning in this bit is the card art. Roughly the top half of each card has some artwork, depicting the meaning of the card. Some of these little bits of art are fucking brilliant, and some make me giggle. The Goblin Flectomancer, for example, has a brilliantly silly hat. The zombie card Severed Army depicts and army made entirely of chopped off limps and hands and things, marching on a city. Brilliant!

'''Stuff that sucks'''
There are a couple of things that suck with this game. The biggest one is the same problem you get with any game based around playing other real people: Some people are dicks. However, in the casual play area (which I spend most of my time in, as I imagine any 5punker would), there is no penalty for losing a game. So if someone you are playing against proves to be a bit of a Danny Baker, just concede the game and play someone else. It can be hard, though, at times to not be drawn in to a stupid internet argument against some idiot teenager who's sore over a lost game, or a particularly good play on your part.

The other thing about this game that sucks is its effect on your bank balance. It sucks, hard, and all of your money disappears into its gaping maw. You see, although the game is actually free to play, you need to buy cards. And although you could, technically, just buy one deck and play with that for ever, you really wont want to. You will want to improve your deck. And for that, you need cards, which cost money. An then you will think of something that requires a whole new deck build. And that requires more cards. Suddenly you realise that although one deck costs a mere £5, you have actually spent many times that, and now have a card collection of several thousand virtual cards.

Like me.

'''Conclusion'''
Its a marmite thing. You will either love it or it will utterly fail to grab you. However, there is a free trial thing they do, where you can just download a client, hit a button and play for free, with a handfull of premade decks. Although this doesnt give you any of the deck building side of things, it gives you a fair idea of whether or not you will like the game, and hey, its free.

If any of you want to, I shall dig out the link for the client, and show you how to play. Its actually a lot easier to understand than it first appears.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Joose''

==Mage Knight Apocalypse - PC==
Not very nice controls, clicky-clicky and mashy-mashy. Far too many repeated button presses to perform even the simplest of tasks.

;;FatherJack''

==Matrix: Path of Neo - PC==

Fighting a bunch of dudes and pulling off awesome The One moves is great, but it's hindered by the fact that it's a crappy port of a game that wasn't really that polished to begin with:

Even with my new PC(I overshoot the recommended sys reqs), the game still chokes a lot, specially if I'm fighting a number of opponents and I've already destroyed a large part of the environment) It seems stupid that the game is being dragged by its two major selling points: fighting multiple enemies at once and destructible environments.

The graphics are shitty. It's probably the only PC-ported game I know of that has graphics worse than its console counterparts. Even if I bump the resolution up to 1280X1024 the graphics still look as awful as it did in 800X600, the only difference is the animation is now less fluid.

Getting around the game is also difficult. Unless you've finished all the missions, you won't have the ability to skip FMVs at the start of the level, and most of them are at least 2 minutes in length.

''Ellachan''

==MS Train Simulator - PC==
Experience all the thrills of being a train driver, without getting paid, and no crash physics

'''Score : 3/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Need For Speed Carbon - PC/PS/XBOX==
Decent arcade racing with fucking retarded crew members and fucking bullshit AI. At least you're not required to make your car fucking hideous looking this time.

'''Score : 6/10'''

''Deject''

Just like Need for Speed Most Wanted, but with better menus, shiner graphics, and at night. Runs better than NFS:MW on this pc, and I have hardly noticed any dynamic ads.

''Nickface''

==Neverwinter Nights 2 - PC==
Just like NWN1, but with a little better interface and graphics that look a little like the graphics for Everquest 2. My computer doesn't like it too much.

''Nickface''

==No One Lives Forever 2 - PC==
Funny first person sneaker, featuring Angry Kitty Proximity Mines. 'Nuff Said.

''Deject''

==Oblivion==
Surprisingly linear. Eats my graphics card and dumps on my CPU. I have to use Oldblivion hack to make it run which kinda strips it back to whether it's fun to play or not. It isn't. Morrowind was better.

''Yamon''

==Oni - PC/PS2==
3rd person beat-em-up/shoot-em-up. Good fun, little bit frustrating at times, but good for a blast. Anime stylings set in the near future. I like it.

''Buzzmong''

==Panyga: Golf with style - Wii==
Same as the free PC game, but impossibly hard compared to playing against drunk/amateur players online. You need to get at least par against flawless computer opponents in the very first game to progress - no buying special magic golf sticks for real monies off the internets, here. Better title would be "Pangya: Golf without actually any style because to get any semblance of style you need to be better than you were ever able to be in over 43 hours of online play". That's not so catchy, though.

''FatherJack''

==Phantasy Star Universe - PC==
Hugely disappointing, boring combat system. Worst Controls Ever In A Game. The UI was just thrown together.

''FatherJack''

==Prey - PC==
A one trick pony in a world of acrobatic assault ponies - nothing bad as such, just bland.

'''Score : 5.5/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Project Gotham racing 1/2 - Xbox==
Arcadey street racing fun - good medium between a sim and need for speed.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Matrix Online - PC==
A seemingly obvious choice for a game of this particular film licence, its all based around the matrix films. Storline wise, its set shortly after the last film. Be a digitised computer geek, just like the people in the film. Theres apparently a lot of storyline going on (following events from the films) but I only had a week trial, and didnt realy notice.

A lot of people (myself included) were put off this game by the beta test. Even by beta test standards, the game was baaaaaad. Buggy as hell, looked horrible, and it was kinda boring. They have since improved it a lot, but its still not smashing.

'''Graphics'''
Meh. Another not great/not terrible one, although it seemed to make my machine chuggy considering the level of detail it was on (not very high).

'''Good points'''
Its the matrix! Wear leather coats! Wear sunglasses indoors! Do kungfu! Actually, the fight system is kinda cool, with some nice film style kung-fuing going on.

'''Bad points'''
Its a bit dull, and although you can get cool outfits, you soon realise that everyone else is wearing almost identical cool outfits. And although the fights look good one on one, the system doesnt do multiple opponents, leading to some rediculous situations where you have bad guys lining up for you to punch them in the face. And the inteface is awful.

'''Score : 2/10'''

''Joose''

==No One Lives Forever 2: A Spy In H.A.R.M's Way - PC==
NOLF2 is very balanced game, your enemies are clever, and you never have a large advantage over them, you need skill and a brain to do well. Your weapons are mostly tools, but If you know your way round, they can be implements of hilarity, including various slapstick weapons, some of which are so good, I won't spoil them. A downside to the game are the levels where you need to be stealthy, most incorporate stealth, but there are the few where you need to be to survive (on harder settings). The game is set in every 60's cliché, with a few female ninjas thrown in.
The voice acting is great, taking inspiration from the good Lucas arts point and click games, like grim fandango and Sam n' Max, the characters created are hilarious stereotypical people, including drunk soviet Russians, crazy Indians and dozy, Soviet hating Americans. The game itself is quite long, taking me 9 hours to complete on medium settings. ( I took 10 hours for HL2) But I like to soak up the game, showing off that you go fast in a game is like showing off that you are fast in bed, It's just plain wrong.

NOLF2 is a pretty excellent looking game, for its age, but quite outdated these days, a big disappointment is the native resolutions, you can only get 1024*768 maxed out, so you're going to need to edit some files if you want wide-screen. Textures are OK, but objects are Flintstones style repeated, but the developers get away with this because you are fighting one large corporation, and they used up all the disk space on spoken dialog.

Multiplayer is fun, but 1 active server is the norm, Co-Op levels with a friend is great, and should be relished by the 5punk community.

Bottom line
NOLF 2 is a witty, 60's spy based shooter/sneaker (with a little RPG, for taste), full of innuendo, stereotypes and pure silliness. Not as good as the first, but still rather good.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Mr Green''

==PGR4 - XBox 360==

'''Introduction'''
Project Gotham Racing is the successor to Metropolis Street Racer on the Dreamcast, which was one of the first games to introduce showing off to get more points, long before Ned for Speed went "underground". This new version is shiny and stylish and features bikes racing alongside cars in various weather conditions on street and racetrack locations.

'''Gameplay'''
The showing-off element is more pronounced than the previous release, but there is still something for everyone. Lots of game modes including crashing into cones (but much easier than Crazy Taxi) and overtaking 2CVs mean there's always something to do.

Riding bikes is a lot more fun that I thought it would be, while it's quite easy to fall off - particularly with aggressive car drivers around - the penalty isn't that great and your acceleration makes up for it. I had to use the third-person view for bikes though, as I was getting severe neck-ache.

Since you can test drive or split-screen race any vehicle without unlocking them, it's a fun one to take to friend's houses. Multiplayer over the internet I've avoided as it's rarely a fun experience with driving games.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Nice title music from the Prodigy, plus some surprising variation in the other tunes, from some distinctive classical titles to hideous genero-rock. Good car sounds, particularly on the quirky vehicles that make odd noises.

Graphically all rather nice, with very detailed in-car views, windscreen wipers and everything if that's your thing (I favour the clean view of the camera stuck on the front bumper).

There is an okay selection of cars, but nowhere near as many as the other major titles - the same is true of the tracks, but the different weather conditions add quite a bit of variation. A lot of the tracks and cars will be very familiar, but fortunately seem very consistent with their appearances in other games.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
It's not as "pure" as Forza, and the races which revolve around showboating can get a little tedious, but it's easy enough to find something else to do. Superbikes, in the snow on a grand-prix track - it can get pretty silly - even sillier is the fact that the above-mentioned combination is not actually that challenging.

'''Conclusion'''
A fun driving title, not so realistic, but a good blast. A decent halfway point between the more serious and more frivolous racing games.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''FatherJack''

==Pokemon Diamond - Nintendo DS==

'''Introduction'''

Most people will know what Pokemon is and what it's all about. Some will have played it in one form or another. For those who haven't, the game is a cutesy japanese RPG-alike which basically involves catching one of each type of Pokemon. There's far more to it than that though, and for a game that's aimed at kids it's pretty involving and very long.

'''Gameplay'''

Most of the game is spent in a top-down view, with your little character wandering around the region interacting with people. It plays much like many other RPGs in that respect, and as you progress through the game you develop the abilities needed to access more and more of the region. Often you will find yourself in battle, but this is a kids game and so the combat is fairly lighthearted. During battles, either with an NPC or a wild Pokemon, you face off your Pokemon against another and select moves for them to use to weaken or damage your opponent, or to strengthen themselves. Up to six Pokemon can be carried, and the same goes for NPCs, and there is a convoluted rock-scissor-paper system where different types of Pokemon are more or less effective against others.

There are a good many things to do, far more than just fighting for the sake of it. As previously mentioned, the biggest objective seems to be to catch one of each sort of Pokemon, but there are hundreds of them and some are very rare. There's also the storyline objective of becoming the greates Pokemon trainer in the region, and many little missions and quests along the way. Those who have played a Pokemon game before will recognise it as the exact same plot as all the others. Indeed, the game is almost the same as the last version I played (Pokemon Grass Green on the GBA). Almost.

There are differences here that are unique to the DS though. Existing components, such as competitions and berries, have been improved and use the stylus for effect. There is now a world trade system that I haven't tried out yet. Then there's the underground. The underground is a network of tunnels underneath the region that can be accessed from pretty much anywhere in the game by digging. Within them there are no Pokemon, but your DS will activate its wireless connection so that you share the tunnels with anyone else who is playing within range. Around the walls are areas where you can use the stylus to dig for little jewels and items, some of which are only useful for buying stuff in the tunnels, others can be used above ground. Finally, you can build a secret base down there and furnish it with stuff bought with your gems. You can also set traps, Spy Vs Spy style, that usually need to be cleared in a novel way (such as blowing leaves away or popping bubbles with your stylus). It's not essential to the game, but it is a novel little distraction.

'''Sights and Sounds'''

The graphics are now in a sort of pseudo-3D, created by parallax effects. They work fine for their purpose and are better looking than other Pokemon games due to the DS being more powerful than other Gameboys. The sound, however, remains just as bleepy amd midi-esque. I usually turn it off.

'''Stuff that sucks'''

Well, from the point of view of someone who likes Pokemon games, not much really. The only thing I'd improve if I could would be to allow the player to scroll through the dialogue faster, and to make the guys who sell stuff underground to be a bit easier to find, as looking for them is pretty dull. If, however, you don't like Pokemon games you probably won't like much. Still, if you don't like this style of game a DS might have been a bad purchase.

'''Conclusion'''

Very much more of the same, with a little DS goodness added to keep old players interested. Easily played for any amount of time, and will take many hours to complete. A good step forwards for the series.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Dog Pants''

==Psychonauts - PC==
'''Introduction'''
Psychonauts is the story of Raz, a young psychic who has run away from his family's circus to a psychic summer camp. Now he must try to prove himself and learn as much as he can before his psychic tutors send him back to his parents, who Raz believes resent him for his psychic abilities. Essentially Psychonauts is a traditional platform game; you have a hub world which is the psychic summer camp (plus one other location) and various levels which you gain access to as you progress through the game. The levels are psychic worlds within the minds of the freakish characters you encounter and the design of these levels is where Psychonauts separates itself from other platform games. They are truly bizarre and each is very different from the others, but more about that later.

For those familiar with Grim Fandango and other Tim Schafer projects you'll probably notice similarities in the character/environment design and the dark humour that runs thick through the entirety of the game.

'''Gameplay'''
Getting started on Psychonauts is a wonderfully simple experience, especially if you've played platforms games before. First you find yourself in a small, kiddies area of the summer camp which serves as the tutorial zone and introduces you to the control system, the game mechanics and objectives, nothing too outlandish so far. The second part of the tutorial you'll find in a classroom at the top of a rickety ramp and is set in the mind of one of the camp tutors, a military man and his psychic landscape reflects this. It's looks like the worst war flashback the most shellshocked soldier could ever have; constant explosions, bunnies with helmets and twisted hulls of ships floating in midair. This is just a taste of what's to come. Again there's plenty to collect in these worlds too, most items contribute to your levelling up and in turn access to new psychic powers.

Once you've completed these two areas you are free to roam the rest of the camp, which is quite large but can be quickly traversed with the aid of a few shoutcut devices like the underground transport system. On camp there is a shop that sells a few items which will help with your quest and adds a small RPG element but purchasing is not a major feature.

As you progress some of the major characters will give you new powers as well, these are combined with a tutorial type level which introduces you to the new skill.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Considering this game is also available on lesser platforms such as PS2 the graphics are very nice indeed. It probably helps that the creators were not going for any kind of realism, they've mostly used bold colours and fairly simple geometry for their characters and environments. While I'm all for a bit of realism some surrealism is refreshing, especially for a PC title, and this one has it in spades. Each of the levels is beautifully designed and with huge variety from level to level, one of them cleverly uses changes in the environment so one relatively small location becomes many.

The voice acting is top notch and there were even some laugh-out-loud moments for me, particularly in the Milkman Conspiracy level but there's no point in repeating the lines as it's the context that's funny.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
As usual with any 3D platform game the camera is not perfect. There will be the odd occasion when your view is obscured by a wall behind the character or something like that, but mostly the camera is very well behaved and certainly one of the best examples I've experienced.

The only other problem I have with the game is another one which afflicts most other games of this type; infuriating last level syndrome. Most of the last few sections of the game are easy enough, a couple of falls here and there but steady progress, then there were these two jumps which took about 20 goes each and had me cursing and physically abusing the joypad.

'''Conclusion'''
This is a great platform game. A great deal of time and effort has be put into every aspect of this game, and it shows. The pyschic worlds that makes up the levels proper are amazing, varied and great fun to explore or just look at for a while. The graphics and sound are both interesting and funny. If you enjoy platform games I thoroughly recommend this one. Oh and ... Use the bacon Raz ...

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Joose''

ReviewsIL

2014-11-12T22:53:50Z

FatherJack: /* Just Cause (review based on demo) */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews I to L=

==Jade Empire (Limited Edition) - XBox==
Creators
Bioware. Made Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights and Knights of the Old Republic. All of them Action RPGs with familiar backstories - the first two in a D&D setting with a game world spanning 12 games/add-ons and the last one being set in the Star Wars universe, hugely successful amongst the fans who had actually grown up since the original trilogy.

They could have made the sequel to Knights, but they didn't: they made Jade Empire. I'm rather glad they did.

'''Graphics'''
While the consequence of this is that Knights II was rather clumsy graphically, Jade Empire is absolutely beautiful – while the Xbox is probably the most powerful of the current consoles they get more out of it than I thought possible, given it's based on technology which seems very outdated to PC users. Smoke effects, running water, rain, fountains, waterfalls and an amazing water trickling over stone effect all add to a believable and wonderfully detailed world. Typically as the Xbox's replacement looms into view we only just begin to see what it is capable of.

'''Level Design'''
I always judge a good "map" or "level" by how easy it is to remember – if after a couple of runs around you pretty much know your way around, the designers have done their job – they've made it "real" and they've made it distinctive. A perfect map of your old school's corridors isn't going to make a great level, and no level is going to win awards if it's all made out of plain concrete.

'''New Thing'''
This is a new thing for Bioware – the game world is basically ancient China, but a China where all the stories you ever heard about magic and demons and crazy kung foo antics were all true. Plenty of Emperors, Monks and Spirits too. They went a bit mad with it, and I'm not sure if there's enough left for a sequel. What's not new is the "Open Palm"/"Closed Fist" meter - it's just the "Light Side"/"Dark Side" meter taken straight out of Knights and while the game has plenty to say on the merits of either course, in actuality it's a good/evil choice as usual.

'''Gameplay'''
The controls are a little different from a regular RPG, and more what you'd expect from a game based around martial arts, but are nowhere near as hard to master as a straight beat-em-up. Actually there's loads of things to help you – there are buttons for healing, dealing more damage and even a "bullet-time" mode – the latter two only really being necessary when you're in a desperate scrape.

'''Summary'''
Overall I found it rather fun, most of the lines are spoken in not-too-annoying style, the good/bad thing works well, difficultly is constantly adjustable so you shouldn't get stuck/bored, there's a nice variety of missions from finding lost animals to repelling a siege, great story and it looks superb.
Having finished "good", I will probably give it another play through as "evil", but not right away.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''The limited edition reviewed here gives you an extra selectable character Monk Zeng but his Leaping Tiger move is available to other characters, so I'm not sure if it's an exclusive - it was my favourite move, though. You also get a Making Of DVD which is reasonably interesting, but recorded at a pitifully low resolution and probably available for download from the game TV channel it was taken from''

''FatherJack''

==Just Cause (review based on demo)==
Non-remappable controls and so rather hard to move about. Rather throws you in at the deep end, your first task being to free fall, parachute and land on a moving car. Inevitably failing and giving chase on a motorbike reveals vehicle control to be too sensitive and the vertical camera controls are reversed. Did I mention the controls weren't remappable? I'm using a mouse you fucktards, Up means look Up. Shot the floor a lot, got lost and gave up.

''FatherJack''

==KillZone: Liberation - PSP==

Probably one of the most original shooters I've played, as it takes you into a beautifully done Isometric view of the Battlefield.
Not only are the graphics some of the best I've seen on a handheld, it also feels like you are playing something very different to that of any other shooter in the past.
It gets around the lack of a dual analog on the PSP by auto aiming at an enemy nearby that you are facing, or further away if you choose a weapon such as a sniper rifle.
You also have to use cover lots, and shooting nearby explosive barrels, and teasing spider mines into walking into enemies is also a lot of fun as well Laughing
This game is more about tactics than being a good aim, and I have had to replay levels over and over again until I work out a strategy that works on the map, and it's the tactical side of the game that I'm suprisingly enjoying the most, as tacticts/strategy is not my usual cup of tea.
You also have to command team mates on quite a few fo the maps, plus you can share the game and play co-op with anyone who has a PSP regardless of whether they have the game or not.
Definitely worth the £20 at GAME considering it's not long been released, and probably my second favourite PSP title.
If you fancy it, there is a demo in the /downloads area of 5punk.

'''Score : 8/10''' (Beautiful looking and original shooter that can interest those of us who want something a little different to play than your average FPS)

''Woo Elephant Yeah''

==Knights of the Old Republic - Xbox/PC==
d20 RPG, best Star Wars game ever.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Deject''

==Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time - N64/GC==
60-90 hours of remarkably brilliant RPG, getting a little dated now.

'''Score : 8.5/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Lord of the Rings Online - PC==

Right, since we are experiencing our third 5 hour+ downtime of the last week, I'll pen a quick review.

I doubt I'll have to explain the story behind this so I'll get right to it. You start the game as Frodo plans to leave the Shire. The main plot line (your 'Epic' quest, which is constantly moving along as you level and complete the tasks) runs parallel to the story in the book.

The class and race options are a bit limited in my opinion: man, dwarf, elvses and hobbitses, with which you can play a hunter, burglar, champion, guardian, lore master, or minstrel. The classes are fairly straight-forward, although there is a 'Trait' system allows you a good scope for personalising the way they turn out by completing certain tasks as you go along.

It's a slow burner; at first I was slightly meh towards it. I have yet to really feel part of the whole LotR experience, though this might be explained by my never really being a huge fan of it. However, as you get into the story and start to see people and places you recognise, it draws you in. They have done a good job of taking a story which I would expect 95% of the people playing know very well (through the book or the films) and yet still keeping you looking forward to the next bit of the plot.

It has a few new features here and there, and if you played World of Warcfaft it will feel very familiar but overall it doesn't really do anything new. That said, I am really enjoying it. It is clear that a lot of work has gone into it and at max settings it looks fucking incredible (you can see for miles). Fan or not, I'd say it's worth a punt if you like MMONG's.

''Sheriff Fatman''

ReviewsEH

2014-11-12T22:52:16Z

FatherJack: /* Hitman: Blood Money (review based on demo) */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews E to H=

==ElderScrolls 4: Oblivion - PC==

Addictive, but rubbish leveling and combat compared to Morrowind, best graphics evar!

'''Score : 6.5/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Empire Earth II - The Art of Supremacy Expansion - PC==
More of the same, take spear-wielding hunter-gatherers and take them through the ages, via cannons, planes, nuclear bombs and stompy robots. Adds the Russians, Massai, Zulus and er..the French.

''FatherJack''

==Empire Earth III==

Rather disappointing, the previous game is actually better and more fun to play even now. There are less 'ages' and the only real addition is a campaign mode where you capture regions on a rotatable globe. The "story" just seems to give up after a few rounds, and too many objectives are bugged to impossibility or very near it, meaning you need units in place before timers start.

''FatherJack''

==Everquest 2 - PC==
As standard a RPG fare as you can get really. The sequal to one of the grandaddies of MMO's, and to be honest, it's basically the same game with a shiny makeover.

'''Graphics'''
Technically very good. They shine in the right places, everything looks sufficiently bumpy and realistic (in stark contrast to World of Warcraft). However, its all a bit paint-by-numbers, and lacks soul. Its kinda wierd to describe, as all the component parts are there, and very nice, but the whole looks fucking horrible.

'''Good bits'''
To be honest, I have no clue. I played a week long trial, and at not one moment did I see anything that isn't done just as well, if not better by other games.

'''Bad bits'''
Its very generic, the graphics are both horrible to look at and hard on your system, it's just not very interesting. Having said that, they are the only major complaints about it too. Its just too...bland.

'''Score : 5/10'''

''Joose''

==Eve Online - PC==
Most of you know it, but for those that dont, think updated ELITE, but MMOised. For those shocking few who might not know what elite is: Trading/mining/flying about shooting things in space. Also some other stuff, like researching and manufacture. All based around corporations and buisness, set in a very Iain M Banks style fairly believable future-world.

'''Graphics'''
Shiney, but can be scaled down to run on practically anything. Updated graphics soon promise to make it even shinier.

'''Good things'''
Sense of community, sense of achievement when you get stuff (as its harder than most MMO's to get things, and easier to lose them), flexibility with characters, reasonably good dev support, very different "feel" to other MMO's, will last you a long time (if you like it). Skills carry on training when you are not logged in. Really, really complex.

'''Bad things'''
Sucks time from you like a big temporal hoover. You cant really play this casually and get enough from it. Can be crushingly bad when you lose something thats taken you months to achieve because some wanker of a space-pirate. Really, really complex.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Joose''

==Fable : The Lost Chapters - PC==
Fun console port to PC. Just fun to play. Let me say fun again as it is just that. A real no brainer, linear, humorous, fun time waster. Did I mention that it's fun?

''Yamon''

==FarCry - PC==
Good FPS, Probably one of the best ever made.

'''Score : 8/10 '''

''Dr. Kitteny berk''

==Far Cry: Vengeance - Wii==
Takes a bit of getting used to the controls, which work okay with practice, although some simple actions are needlessly complex. Graphically poor, especially given PC Far Cry's quality. Grainy, jerky movies, a very obvious cone of light around you and horrible HDR. Not online capable, and two players need a mote and chuk each.

''FatherJack''

==Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - GameCube==
Only stylistically like the classic FF series. A clumsy real-time combat system spoils a pretty-looking game.

''FatherJack''

==Forza Motorsport - Xbox==
Gran Turismo for the xbox, but better.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Forza Motorsport 2 - XBox 360==

'''Introduction'''
The eagerly-anticipated "next-gen" sequel to the definitive XBox driving game, perhaps the* definitive console driving game.

'''Gameplay'''
Nice. After a brief period of re-introduction it's clear the old game is still there. Instant gratification with decent cars from the get-go are the hallmark of the series, and that's still the case. Just buy a car, race it a bit, upgrade it, pwn. The original (at least in SP) was never about being the most perfect driver ever, or passing a million license tests, just (sort of) getting the job done.
Only gameplay difference I've noticed is in the "hired driver" aspect - rather than train or coach your stand-in, you simply select a CPU driver of a certain level, who then takes a de-facto cut, from 55-100% of your winnings.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Well, I thought it looked pretty nice at first, and actually it still does show pretty much what you need to see - but it could do a bit more. Cars are quite ridiculously shiny, but the draw distance doesn't always keep up. Don't get me wrong, it pisses all over anything previously - but it's not perfect. Other games have demonstrated that there can be a lot more "going on" on the screen, but I think the clean interface serves this game well.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
Umm, it is a bit easy. Okay I know I'm like the supar-leetest driver evar, but this pushes it a bit. You will always win a computer-controlled race if you have the best PI on the grid, but it's also a piece of piss to win manually with the worst car. MP will put you firmly in your place, but it is a bit of a munchkin-fest getting the unlocks.
It doesn't have that many tracks, cars or modes compared to the Gran Turismo series.

'''Conclusion'''
Best driving game on the 360. For now, at least - the only damn one on next-gen consoles.

'''Score : 8.5/10'''

(*) I love Forza and Gran Turismo equally - they're both fucking excellent games, peerless in their execution and playability.

''FatherJack''

==FreeLancer - PC==
Elite, but newer.

'''Score : 6/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Gothic III==
I think I'll be playing this for quite some time. Very nice and freeform. Think, "A very pretty Morrowind" and you are almost there. I'm sure there is a main quest here somewhere but the massive game world is kinda obscuring it, with it's distinct lack of loading screens and massive scope ofr adventure. This is not a bad thing though. Far from it. Supplies me with the total immersion into another world that I'm looking for.

''Yamon''

==Guitar Hero 2 - PS2==
Take to the stage yet again with the sequel to Red Octane's head banging moshtastic guitar shredder.

For those of you who have never played this or the original it's basically a variation on the Dance Dance Revolution/Dancing Stage Mega/Euro Mix type of game, where you have to match symbols appearing on the screen to button pushes.

The difference with this being that instead of some campy dance mat you use a scaled down model of a Gibson SG electric guitar.

The controller has 5 'fret' buttons and a bar to strum in time with the notes.

The original game featured an impressive number of classic and more modern rock classics from Black Sabbath, Megadeth and Pantera to more modern artists such as Franz Ferdinand, Queens of the Stoneage and Audioslave.

The sequel has an even larger repertoire of songs, although in my opinion the set list is a little weaker than the previous game but still features great songs such as Dick Dale's Miserlou, The Alman Brothers Band's Jessica (Top Gear theme tune) and the Foo Fighters' Monkey Wrench.

The controls in this game seem to work a lot better, especially things like hammer ons and pull offs (where you play one note and then just 'hammer on' the next note, without strumming again.

One thing that bugs me a little is that the rhythms don't always seem to match terribly well with the song, a problem that wasn't present in the original, or was certainly much less noticeable to me.

As a guitar player myself I have found both this and the original to be very fun and addictive, but I don't think it is really necessary to be a guitarist to get a lot out of this game, although it does help if you like the songs on it.

In short my opinion is divided on this game somewhat, although the controls are a lot more responsive this is somewhat spoiled by the fact that there are not many songs on here that I know or like.
I think if you are interested in this game it is best to check out the set list before you buy it, and maybe even download the soundtrack, in case, as was the case with me, there are songs on there that you recognise, even if you don't know them by name.

I will give this game 3.5 out of 5 even though the orignal would have got 4.5 or 5

'''Score : 3.5/5'''

''The Incredible...''

==Half Life 2 - PC==

An evolution, not a revolution, but still sets the benchmark for FPS

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Mr Green''

Half life 2.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==HL2 ep1 - PC==
Great addition to the HL world, well worth the £10.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Halo CE - PC==

Every FPS game ever+a bucket load of fanboys + awfull online community= Halo CE

'''Score : 3/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Hitman: Blood Money (review based on demo)==
Controls remappable, but have to be changed from in-game rather than the main menu (you can, but they're ignored), and reset on starting a new game. Why the hell do they make it so difficult? Was okay until I had to "distract the guards". No amount of coin-tossing lured them inside, and upon wandering outside found I was probably the only hitman ever to not actually carry a gun. Guards saw me, and told me I was "dead" but didn't actually shoot me. Carried on with them following me, but not doing anything. Crept up behind gangster and killed him with garotte, got gun. All goes a bit slow-mo. Guards finally decided to start shooting, blew them both away. All goes a bit red. Oh, seems I'm dead. What?

''FatherJack''

ReviewsEH

2014-11-12T22:49:57Z

FatherJack: /* Forza Motorsport 2 - XBox 360 */

ReviewsEH

2014-11-12T22:42:21Z

FatherJack: /* Far Cry: Vengeance - Wii */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews E to H=

==ElderScrolls 4: Oblivion - PC==

Addictive, but rubbish leveling and combat compared to Morrowind, best graphics evar!

'''Score : 6.5/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Empire Earth II - The Art of Supremacy Expansion - PC==
More of the same, take spear-wielding hunter-gatherers and take them through the ages, via cannons, planes, nuclear bombs and stompy robots. Adds the Russians, Massai, Zulus and er..the French.

''FatherJack''

==Empire Earth III==

Rather disappointing, the previous game is actually better and more fun to play even now. There are less 'ages' and the only real addition is a campaign mode where you capture regions on a rotatable globe. The "story" just seems to give up after a few rounds, and too many objectives are bugged to impossibility or very near it, meaning you need units in place before timers start.

''FatherJack''

==Everquest 2 - PC==
As standard a RPG fare as you can get really. The sequal to one of the grandaddies of MMO's, and to be honest, it's basically the same game with a shiny makeover.

'''Graphics'''
Technically very good. They shine in the right places, everything looks sufficiently bumpy and realistic (in stark contrast to World of Warcraft). However, its all a bit paint-by-numbers, and lacks soul. Its kinda wierd to describe, as all the component parts are there, and very nice, but the whole looks fucking horrible.

'''Good bits'''
To be honest, I have no clue. I played a week long trial, and at not one moment did I see anything that isn't done just as well, if not better by other games.

'''Bad bits'''
Its very generic, the graphics are both horrible to look at and hard on your system, it's just not very interesting. Having said that, they are the only major complaints about it too. Its just too...bland.

'''Score : 5/10'''

''Joose''

==Eve Online - PC==
Most of you know it, but for those that dont, think updated ELITE, but MMOised. For those shocking few who might not know what elite is: Trading/mining/flying about shooting things in space. Also some other stuff, like researching and manufacture. All based around corporations and buisness, set in a very Iain M Banks style fairly believable future-world.

'''Graphics'''
Shiney, but can be scaled down to run on practically anything. Updated graphics soon promise to make it even shinier.

'''Good things'''
Sense of community, sense of achievement when you get stuff (as its harder than most MMO's to get things, and easier to lose them), flexibility with characters, reasonably good dev support, very different "feel" to other MMO's, will last you a long time (if you like it). Skills carry on training when you are not logged in. Really, really complex.

'''Bad things'''
Sucks time from you like a big temporal hoover. You cant really play this casually and get enough from it. Can be crushingly bad when you lose something thats taken you months to achieve because some wanker of a space-pirate. Really, really complex.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Joose''

==Fable : The Lost Chapters - PC==
Fun console port to PC. Just fun to play. Let me say fun again as it is just that. A real no brainer, linear, humorous, fun time waster. Did I mention that it's fun?

''Yamon''

==FarCry - PC==
Good FPS, Probably one of the best ever made.

'''Score : 8/10 '''

''Dr. Kitteny berk''

==Far Cry: Vengeance - Wii==
Takes a bit of getting used to the controls, which work okay with practice, although some simple actions are needlessly complex. Graphically poor, especially given PC Far Cry's quality. Grainy, jerky movies, a very obvious cone of light around you and horrible HDR. Not online capable, and two players need a mote and chuk each.

''FatherJack''

==Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - GameCube==
Only stylistically like the classic FF series. A clumsy real-time combat system spoils a pretty-looking game.

''FatherJack''

==Forza Motorsport - Xbox==
Gran Turismo for the xbox, but better.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Forza Motorsport 2 - XBox 360==

'''Introduction'''
The eagerly-anticipated "next-gen" sequel to the definitive XBox driving game, perhaps the* definitive console driving game.

'''Gameplay'''
Nice. After a brief period of re-introduction it's clear the old game is still there. Instant gratification with decent cars from the get-go are the hallmark of the series, and that's still the case. Just buy a car, race it a bit, upgrade it, pwn. The original (at least in SP) was never about being the most perfect driver ever, or passing a million license tests, just (sort of) getting the job done.
Only gameplay difference I've noticed is in the "hired driver" aspect - rather than train or coach your stand-in, you simply select a CPU driver of a certain level, who then takes a de-facto cut, from 55-100% of your winnings.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Well, I thought it looked pretty nice at first, and actually it still does show pretty much what you need to see - but it could do a bit more. Cars are quite ridiculously shiny, but the draw distance doesn't always keep up. Don't get me wrong, it pisses all over anything previously - but it's not perfect. Other games have demonstrated that there can be a lot more "going on" on the screen, but I think the clean interface serves this game well.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
Umm, it is a bit easy. Okay I know I'm like the supar-leetest drivar evar, but this pushes it a bit. You will always win a computer-controlled race if you have the best PI on the grid, but it's also a piece of piss to win manually with the worst car. MP will put you firmly in your place, but it is a bit of a munchkin-fest getting the unlocks.
It doesn't have that many tracks, cars or modes compared to the Gran Turismo series.

'''Conclusion'''
Best driving game on the 360. For now, at least - the only damn one on next-gen consoles.

'''Score : 8.5/10'''

(*) I love Forza and Gran Turismo equally - they're both fucking excellent games, peerless in their execution and playability.

''FatherJack''

==FreeLancer - PC==
Elite, but newer.

'''Score : 6/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Gothic III==
I think I'll be playing this for quite some time. Very nice and freeform. Think, "A very pretty Morrowind" and you are almost there. I'm sure there is a main quest here somewhere but the massive game world is kinda obscuring it, with it's distinct lack of loading screens and massive scope ofr adventure. This is not a bad thing though. Far from it. Supplies me with the total immersion into another world that I'm looking for.

''Yamon''

==Guitar Hero 2 - PS2==
Take to the stage yet again with the sequel to Red Octane's head banging moshtastic guitar shredder.

For those of you who have never played this or the original it's basically a variation on the Dance Dance Revolution/Dancing Stage Mega/Euro Mix type of game, where you have to match symbols appearing on the screen to button pushes.

The difference with this being that instead of some campy dance mat you use a scaled down model of a Gibson SG electric guitar.

The controller has 5 'fret' buttons and a bar to strum in time with the notes.

The original game featured an impressive number of classic and more modern rock classics from Black Sabbath, Megadeth and Pantera to more modern artists such as Franz Ferdinand, Queens of the Stoneage and Audioslave.

The sequel has an even larger repertoire of songs, although in my opinion the set list is a little weaker than the previous game but still features great songs such as Dick Dale's Miserlou, The Alman Brothers Band's Jessica (Top Gear theme tune) and the Foo Fighters' Monkey Wrench.

The controls in this game seem to work a lot better, especially things like hammer ons and pull offs (where you play one note and then just 'hammer on' the next note, without strumming again.

One thing that bugs me a little is that the rhythms don't always seem to match terribly well with the song, a problem that wasn't present in the original, or was certainly much less noticeable to me.

As a guitar player myself I have found both this and the original to be very fun and addictive, but I don't think it is really necessary to be a guitarist to get a lot out of this game, although it does help if you like the songs on it.

In short my opinion is divided on this game somewhat, although the controls are a lot more responsive this is somewhat spoiled by the fact that there are not many songs on here that I know or like.
I think if you are interested in this game it is best to check out the set list before you buy it, and maybe even download the soundtrack, in case, as was the case with me, there are songs on there that you recognise, even if you don't know them by name.

I will give this game 3.5 out of 5 even though the orignal would have got 4.5 or 5

'''Score : 3.5/5'''

''The Incredible...''

==Half Life 2 - PC==

An evolution, not a revolution, but still sets the benchmark for FPS

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Mr Green''

Half life 2.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==HL2 ep1 - PC==
Great addition to the HL world, well worth the £10.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Halo CE - PC==

Every FPS game ever+a bucket load of fanboys + awfull online community= Halo CE

'''Score : 3/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Hitman: Blood Money (review based on demo)==
Controls remappable, but have to be changed from in-game rather than the main menu (you can, but they're ignored), and reset on starting a new game. Why the hell do they make it so difficult? Was okay until I had to "distract the guards". No amount of coin-tossing lured them inside, and upon wandering outside found I was probably the only hitman ever to not actually carry a gun. Guards saw me, and told me I was "dead" but didn't actually shoot me. Carried on with them following me, but not doing anything. Crept up behind gangster and killed him with garotte, got gun. All goes a bit slow-mo. Guards finally decided to start shooting, blew them both away. All goes a bit red. Oh, seems I'm dead. What?

''Fatherjack''

ReviewsQU

2014-11-12T20:34:28Z

FatherJack: /* Reviews Q to U */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews Q to U=

==RF Online - PC==
Wierd Korean MMO. I heard lots of hype about it being different and cool, but the couple of days play I gave it before getting pissed off does not show this at all. It's just another generic MMO with a mildly different setting trying to do the job of original thought.

'''Graphics'''
Nice enough, but again, not great. Also, everyone looks exactly the same. The fucking Cybermen had more individuality.

'''Good points'''
....erm...there's stompy robots....

'''Bad points'''
...but apart from the fact that they look stompy, they are just another generic MMO race. Look at the bad points for most of the above games, pretend they are all about this one. Pretty much sums it up.

''Joose''

==Rogue Galaxy - PS2==
Very nice-looking RPG in the cell-shaded style of Dragon Quest (VIII). Combat, though is a nasty button-mashy affair that basically ruined the experience. In my view, a waste.

''FatherJack''

==Saga of Ryzom - PC==
A french developed title, I believe, and you can tell. Its all so undefinably continental. One of the rare MMO's that tries to break from the standard "heres a world, theres magic elves and orks" thing, this has some original races and a pretty original (even award winning) storyline. Also features some interesting technology such as realistic modeling of herding behavour in animals and a rather nice skills system.

'''Graphics'''
Nice, but fairly bog standard. Not so bad it makes you cry, but nothing that'll make you go "oooh". Some of the creature design is rather lubberly though.

'''Good things'''
The storyline is both original and good, it tries (and mostly suceeds) to do new things without breaking stuff thats tried and tested.

'''Bad stuff'''
Nothing specific, unless you have a particular hatred for French things.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Joose''

==Silverfall (review based on demo)==
Sort of Dungeon Siege-ish. Controls not only non-defianble, but can't check what they actually are. View-spin is middle-mouse, so that sucks as mine is a smooth-scrolly one which never registers. Three monsters pop out of nowhere, I click to attack. Oh, I have to click again, for each individual attack, that's rather tedious. I die. I lose all my equipment. Apparently it's in a gravestone, right where the remaining two monsters are standing waiting for me. Erm, no thanks.

''Fatherjack''

==Sin Episodes - Emergence==

Short and fairly sweet actually for an action romp. Comes free with Sin 1 and it's expansion when purchased via Steam.

On it's own, it's not bad, some nice concepts, plays fairly well. It could have done with more than 3 weapons, some sections are mean to get through, but for a pure fps action romp s'not bad, just rather short.

I suspect if Ritual hadn't have been sold on (and key employee's leaving at the time), bits would have been added in the other 8 episodes, which would have probably made up a great game when played together.

Shame really, as Ritual made some rather good games, they'll be missed.

Emergence when compared to SiN1, doesn't hold a candle to it I'm afriad, the first game was much more FUN, had more interactivity in the environment (which nearly everything could be played with), more guns, more enemies, just not as shiny gfx.

'''Score : 4.5/10'''

''Buzzmong''

==Space Empires IV - PC==

'''Introduction'''

Some of you may have noticed me playing this rather a lot this weekend, so I thought I'd chuck a review together. SEIV is a turn based strategy game in the same vein as Civlisation. Starting on your little homeworld in a corner of the galaxy, and expanding across systems in order to gather more resources for your empire. New technologies are researched along the way and other races will interact in trade and war. This isn't a new game - in fact there's a Space Empires V - but apparently it's the best in the series and it's only a fiver off Steam. Better still, it's very customisable and there are player created mods for popular sci-fi settings like Star Wars, Star Trek and Babylon 5.

'''Gameplay'''

The game is played out on maps of the various solar systems. These are linked together by warp points (like wormholes) which allow ships to travel between systems. Within the sytems are planets that need to be colonised and exploited to provide space for the facilities that support your empire and the resources with which to build them. There aren't a massive amount of facilities to choose from, but that's no bad thing as planets can be earmarked for set roles and once all the facility slots are full they pretty much run themselves.
The variety comes in the way spacecraft work. Every ship is built to a design created by the player using modules that have been researched. There's a large variety of these modules to do various things, but not so large that it's overwhelming. Ships can then be built in the spaceyards and formed into fleets. Most ships will inevitably be warships, but others can colonise planets and later in the game create or destroy them.

The early stages of a typical game will involve designing a simple ship with which to explore, while colonising the nearby planets in your starting system. Early on you'll only be able to colonise one (of three) types of planets, so most will remain empty. As your exploration of the galaxy continues other races will be met. Generally they're friendly and will want to trade (a simple mechanism that's automated), but they still seem to destroy your explorers given chance.
Colonisation of nearby worlds isn't too taxing and expansion happens pretty quickly - it's rare to be sat waiting for resources to be generated before something can be built.

Eventually the borders between empires will become narrow enough for tension to build, and other races begin to get tetchy. By this point enough research has usually been done to enable some half decent combat ships to be built, although hostilities seem to be mostly restricted to espionage and sabotage with only a few skirmishes and lots of rattling of sabres. By this point different colony types should be available and all planets will be supporting the war machine. Even so, every ship costs to maintain and they're quite a drain on the economy. Hostile planets can be put under siege or bombed in a variety of unpleasant ways so that you can recolonise them with your own people.

Towards the end of a game technology advances will allow ships to be designed that pull asteroid fields together to create new (and usually very rich) planets. After this new stars can be created, warp points opened and closed and other stellar terrain features adjusted. Combat will by now include dreadnaughts and carriers launching dozens of fighters in large scale fleet combat.

'''Sights and Sounds'''

The graphics and sounds are a little dated, but in a game such as this that's not such a big deal. What's more, all of it can be modified either by non-official mods or, if you're feeling brave, by the player. It's functional and clear though.

'''Stuff that sucks'''

Well, it's pretty ugly. That's not a big deal and it can be fixed with mods, but it might put some off. The AI isn't brilliant and tends to contradict itself, but again this can be remedied with mods. The only real complaint I've had is that there's no consistency with how many slots for facilities each planets have, so siting your colonies is a bit hit and miss.

'''Conclusion'''

It really is Civilisation in space. A little bit simpler than Civ, but also more geared to war. Anyone looking for a game that will suck up their time, and games take a very long time, might do well to invest. For the price you can't really go wrong.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Dog Pants''

==Star Wars Battlefront II - PSP==

I've played this on other consoles and enjoyed it enough to think that buying it on the PSP was a good idea. Oh dear, how wrong I was.
The lack of a dual analogue stick makes this came become almost unplayable as there is no auto-aim feature whatsoever, and the chance of lining up a long range shot (which was always necessary in the game on other consoles) is nigh on impossible.
The graphics are pretty poor as well, and add this to long loading times, well you can kind of guess the end result.
Very poorly ported across to the PSP, and I will avoid all FPS games on the PSP in future, unless they've been made specifically with the PSP controls in mind.

'''Score : 3/10''' (What should have been a quick fun game, has been turned into an uncontrollable ugly turd)

''Woo Elephant Yeah''

==Star Wars Galaxies - PC==
The star wars setting as an MMO. Be a wookie, go to tatoine and blast things. Or build houses. meh.

'''Graphics'''
Alright, but nothing special. Not totally awfull, but certainly dated.

'''Good points'''
Its star wars.

'''Bad points'''
Its actually Everquest. It just *looks* like starwars. Plus, its a hell of a lot of work to become a jedi, so dont let that tempt you. I fear it is beyond the reach of any 5punkers.

'''Score : 3/10''' (2 of which is purely because its star wars).

''Joose''

==Supreme Commander - PC ==
Most of you won't have noticed but I have recently bought Supreme commander, and have had time to have a bit of a play test. There are 3 different box sets available from each major online retailer (Play, Game and Amazon). Each box comes with a few bits and pieces centred around one of the factions, such as a poster, a postcard type thing and also a DVD with various videos, pictures etc.

'''The factions'''
As I mentioned earlier there are 3 factions. There is the UEF (United Earth Federation), Cybran Nation and the Aeon Illuminate. All three have similar tech trees and the only real difference is in the way that the units look. The UEF is basically an Earth government looking to reunite the universe as much of the human population is spread out over vast galaxies. The Cybran Nation is essentially made of cyborg-type people who were shunned by the old governments of earth and escaped to form their own. Also there is the mysterious Aeon Illuminate who are a human cult which glorified an ancient extinct alien race and looked to impress their ways on the rest of the universe.

'''Gameplay'''
From what I have played of this it feels much like total annihilation. Battles are swift and most units have just one purpose (anti-ground, anti-air and anti-sea). Resources are based around a similar system to total anihilation too with only Mass (collected from certain locations on the map) and energy (created via power plants).

'''Graphics'''
The graphics are pretty swish, from the missiles to the giant factory behemoth you can build. It does however draw quite a few resources and I found on high settings it was mushing even my ATI1900XTX. Plenty of options to turn down for you penny pinchers (dollar pinchers in deject's case)

Ok, finally to the conclusion... I'd say if you were a fan of total anihilation or of any modern RTS game you will enjoy this. Reasonably priced at £24.99 (for a brand new game) I can see plenty of 5punkers enjoying this game whether its for beating up the AI or fellow gamers.

''Killavodka''

==System Shock 2 (PC)==
Awesome game, good plot, good twists, fps/rpg hybrid. Scary atmosphere, well built. A must play.

''Buzzmong''

==Tales of Vesperia - 360==

'''Introduction'''

It's a JRPG with cell-shaded anime-style characters and a real-time battle system. It is the tenth game in a rough series, but only the second major one to be released in Europe in sequence on its original format, the first being Tales of Symphonia on the GameCube in 2003. Lucky US citizens have had PS and PS2 releases either side of that. Tales of Symphonia remains quite highly regarded and even second-hand copies still command prices equal or higher than those on release.

'''Comparisons with Final Fantasy'''

One of our newsfeeds recently compared it to Final Fantasy VII, but while it has similarities it is far from a clone of it.

In towns you move around a pre-rendered background and interact with things in a way very similar to FF. In dungeons you similarly have roaming enemies and a map (which didn't appear in FF until X) - but it differs in that the enemies are visible and avoidable. The overland sections look similar to FFVII in that you are as big as the towns, but again the roaming monsters are visible akin to FFXII. None of these things are exclusive to the Final Fantasy series though and I could list many more obvious parallels to other games which use those systems for travel.

Unlike FF the cut-scenes are rendered using the game engine, so it fits on a single DVD. It also has optional skits, where the characters talk to each in comic-book frames, in an improvement over Tales of Symphonia these are now voiced and the faces fully animated. Most in-game dialogue is in pop-up text windows and only voiced in the major scenes.

'''Battle System'''

The battle system however is unlike most other games - in that it has three modes of operation. In Manual it's effectively real-time action-based where you directly control the characters, mash attack buttons and try to pull off combos. Semi-auto is kind of the same, but targeting is done for you, which is better for long-range characters. Auto does everything for you including attacking according to the tactics you set (conserve mana, all out, etc). Because you have a party of up to four characters, they can be set independently, so you could control the healer while the swordsman is on Auto. There are some skills which can only be used in a particular mode, usually Semi-auto.

The Auto mode is improved from Tales of Symphonia, where you felt like you weren't doing anything at all, but it does still feel a little disconnected and takes a bit of tinkering with the tactics before you start to get used to influencing the battle more directly. You can switch between modes at will and keep yourself busy.

I like the Auto mode, it works pretty well for the random encounters. The game is too fast to specify turn-based commands and benefits from it. You don't get bored inputting commands for each character when you know the first attack is going to kill everything, nor do you spend ages beating weak monsters on the way to somewhere interesting - battles against wandering monsters typically only last between 5 and 30 seconds.

'''Stuff that sucks'''

Stuff isn't terribly well-explained. I had to load and re-do the combat tutorial as I didn't realise I was meant to be performing the actions while the instructions were still on the screen. I have no idea how the weapon skills are transferred to the characters - it says it is possible, and I have "learned" them, but they don't appear in their skills lists.

As is typical in the genre, it takes a while to get going. Not quite the 35 hours before the game gets started typical of the FF games, but in five hours play I've only encountered one "boss" fight.

'''Conclusion'''

Buy it if you like this sort of thing. It's a good example of the genre and the hybrid battle system is a good compromise between chin-stroking strategy and button-mashing, although if you're a zealous proponent of one of those, you'll find it a little light.

It's worth noting there's an enhanced PS3 version planned for the Autumn (in Japan) with extra playable characters, towns, dungeons, bosses and other content. No word on a western release date.

Score : 9/10

''FatherJack''

==Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas - PC==
Runs like a zero-legged dog which has been shot and buried in concrete. Uses amazing shader model 3 effects which realistically simulate having smeared vaseline all over your screen. Stupid mandatory checkpoints ensure the bad guys have you where they want you.

''FatherJack''

==UT2004 - PC==
Shiny updated Unreal dealy.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny berk''

==Unreal Tournament 3 - PC==
Alright, since I don't see any reviews of this around, let's get bashy.

'''Graphics'''
I cannot complain at all about this: it's beautiful, but it eats lots of computer resources. It's runnable on old piece of hardware, but quite frankly on my ATI Radeon X1600 it looked like Doom 2, on my current video card, which I haven't memorized yet, it's more comparable to Crysis. It uses quite stunning new effects for a change, although most of the time, these effects also make you wonder what the fuck killed you because you couldn't see anything.

'''Gameplay'''
The singleplayer mode deviates from those of the old Unreal Tournaments, in fact, this isn't even Unreal Tournament, it's more like Tabula Rasa with less RPG and more big stompy robots. In the campaign, you proceed through designated points in a fabulous unnamed planet, which makes it seem like some ghetto war for turf where you can collect protection money. A noticable thing is that the two characters who give you briefing have a black english accent thing comparable to that of MC Hammer. Otherwise, the game follows the quite pleasant shoot'n'kill-shit-esque approach of the last 4 games with the same usual gamemodes. Which is getting quite old.

The protagonist is a non-ghetto guy (for a change, yay) who has a sister (that means no sex in the game, probably), and is ordered around by two times ex-champion Malcolm who you probably fought in the last round of each Unreal Tournament previously and also bears the previously mentioned ghetto speech. The game also seems to promote spontaneous declaration of war on innocent people, which is quite good if you ask me.

Oh yes, the game stores your campaign offline and online seperately. So if you start a campaign online then login server goes down (which happens pretty often) you're pretty much fucked unless you fancy starting a new one.

'''Artificial Stupidity (AI)'''
This is so long that I have to separate it from Gameplay. Basically the game features the EXTREMELY UBERDUMB and the EXTREMELY WTFPWN AI.

The earlier ones are also known as "teammates" although "blockers" would be a better expression. These uberdumb ai guys cannot take down a single guy who only has an impact hammer in 5v1, grab the flag in CTF then run around and fight stuff, get stuck in walls quite often, get inside vehicles then drive them into a wall and don't do anything for quite a while, or the most annoying aspect, in VCTF, they get in FUCKING vehicles then while I'm bringing home the FUCKING flag on a FUCKING hoverboard they FUCKING drive in front of me yelling "LOLZ!!!!111 I COVER you're ASS!!!11". Speaking of which, they have a useful habit of telling you the position of the enemy. Or it perhaps WOULD be useful if they'd like tell you where they were. When they spot a significant enemy anywhere in the map, they yell "Enemy <lol> here!". I'm still trying to figure out where the fuck is here.

The latter ones are those who use aimbots, wallhax, instagib enforcers and everything else at the same time. You may also know these bots as "the opposing team".

'''Sounds'n'shit'''
I cannot think of any complaints here. The sound effects (along with visuals) are well-timed and also well in-place. Voice acting is great, despite the fact that most of them is unnecessary, except for the campaign stuff of course.

'''Multiplayer'''
The game suffers from minor master server problems and other major retardation. First of all, the login server crashes quite often, quite an inconvenience. If you ever manage to log in you will notice two things in the server browser: The pings are quite high. I know. I joined a 2k ping server and it played normally. And that there are little servers. Oh yes, Epic messed up by releasing early without redirect support. Practically, this means only completely vanilla servers appear in your server browser. If we put all this aside, the multiplayer is quite enjoyable, adrenaline-rising, fast paced, and although it's full of douchebags as usual, it won't really affect your experience. Unless of course they're stealing the goliaths and ramming them into mountains.

'''Overall'''
Despite all the Yathzee-style bashing on the game, I believe it's quite enjoyable. Pros are the new storyline, which finally isn't another random tournament event, the stunning graphics and sound effects, cons are the rather irritating AI and multiplayer system, but despite these, the good is still seriously outweighing the bad, and at the end of the day, you realize you are playing quite an enjoyable game.

'''Score : 7.5/10'''

''Baliame''

ReviewsVZ

2014-11-12T20:29:40Z

FatherJack: /* Reviews V to Z */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews V to Z=

==Valkyria Chronicles - PS3==
It seems like forever since I saw the first examples of this game's artwork. It's anime-style, all cell-shaded with a watercolour-on-pencil effect.

The actual game between the many cut-scenes is turn-based combat on individual battlefields. You start in map view, and decide which character to move, at which point you gain control of them in 3D third-person. As you move, your Action Points decrease and any enemies which spot you are free to shoot at you, then you can select aim, target an enemy and fire upon them. It briefly switches to a cinematic attack view as you fire, the enemy gets to retaliate, and then you end your turn. Oddly you have to do alll this quite quickly as you can continue to take damage if you just stand there. Then you can choose another (or the same) character and repeat until you run out of Command Points and it's the enemies turn to do effectively the same thing - but of course without the dangerous moments of indecision you face as a human player.

That's pretty much it, it's pure strategy with no exploration in-between, but you do get a big number of characters to choose from later on. Basically it's like any of the [JRPG-series-name] Tactics version with the third-person live-action-move mode added on.

''FatherJack''

==Valkyrie Profile 2 - PS2==
Eye-wateringly beautiful. Eye-watering for three reasons:
1. The PS2 can't really cope and pixels out all the while.
2. You can't walk properly around the lovely towns, only press left or right like you're on some kind of carousel of pretty backgroundness.
3. The combat is some weird hybrid of turn-based and action that the tutorial completely fails to explain comprehensibly.
In short, another Unlimited Saga, Square-Enix foist off all their rejected FF ideas onto a previously successful franchise and hope that twats like me buy it regardless. Job done, SE, job done. Another waste of lovely design.

''FatherJack''

==Wii Sports - Wii==
'''Wii Hardware'''
While this scarcely needs an introduction, here a few points about the hardware itself, that I hadn't picked up from the prerelease chat.

It's quite small. It looks rather like a white external CD drive, and only looks remarkable when mounted on its stand. The stand has a transparent circular attachment which keeps it pretty stable, although you only really need to go anywhere near it when changing CDs. It has little doors which open to reveal an SD card slot, four GameCube controller ports (!) and two GC memory card slots. It has phono+scart connectors and the magic sensor thingy. The sensor has a generous amount of rather delicate-looking cable, and sits either above or below the centre of your TV - tiny stand and extra stickies provided.

The controllers are equally smaller than I expected, and the length of cable between the mote and the chuk, while less than my full armspan, has not been a problem so far gameplay-wise. Changing between mote-only and chuk config is fiddly (and necessary when you switch games) if you connect the strap how they say, infact even passing the mote to another player is harder than it need be. Ideally the straps would have been quickly disconnectable from the mote, with spare straps provided.

Setup's fairly simple, even typing by pointing the mote at the letters was easier than I expected, plus there's an on-screen phone-like TXT pad available which is probably a clever move. Internet setup is easy if you router's setup is standard and your neighbourhood isn't wireless-infested, but their servers are very busy.

'''Wii Sports'''
A collection of five games, with training modes and some basic games. Sometimes the training modes are more fun than the actual games, and there is very little depth beyond the standard game-types.

'''Bowling'''
Perhaps the most sedate-seeming of the games, but I actually managed to split my jeans playing it today. Fortunately I was saved any embarrassment as everyone just assumed I had blown off.

This is the only one in my experience that you pretty much have to stand up for. Standard game is ten frames of normal-rules bowling, spin seems to be a bit difficult to get right, becoming easier as you approach the screen. The training is way more enjoyable - with barriers to spin around and up to 100 pins to knock down at once - where else can you do that?

Up to four players can swap a single mote to play.

'''Golf'''
Another supposedly-restful sport, this one really gets you carried away. While it is possible to play seated, and kind of flick the controller from over your shoulder as if fishing - it's much more fun to pretend it's a real golf club. It's the best of the games, so it's a real shame there's only a single nine-hole course. Doing short hits can be a bit problematic at times, there are no options for vertical ball control, and landing off the fairway can be catastrophic. It's great fun, but really just leaves you wanting a "proper" golf release on the system.

Up to four players can swap a single mote to play, although there is a lot of swapping to be done. Also, check you are not underneath the lights - it's an easy one to get caught up in.

'''Baseball'''
This is a nice bit of exercise, but possibly harder standing up. When batting, the timing is hard to get right, and the aim a little erractic. It seems the timing's more important than the direction, as you can play seated and swing to the side. Pitching's a bit random too - you can control direction and speed a bit, but not with any consistent effect on CPU batters. You sometimes annoyingly swing when repositioning the mote, missing critical shots.

You need a mote per player for this one. Also the pitching action is the most likely to see your mote flying towards the screen if it's not strapped on.

'''Tennis'''
Bit lost with this one. While actually hitting the ball is quite a natural, satisfying action, subsequently directing it is a bit random. Playing standing helps, as underarm motions seem to be more directable than the smash or volley-height strokes possible when seated. As with baseball, it's easy to miss-swing when readying - thus missing your stroke.

Multiple players need a mote each. Important to stand still, despite the sluggishness of your character's running.

'''Boxing'''
Easily the most knackering, but that's mostly (perhaps realistically) because most of your blows seem to go wasted. Haven't quite got the hang of dodging, and the sparring training ended with a punch I found impossible to throw, no matter where I aimed. Probably only included because it needs the chuk, it's a rather poor game. A shame, as I thought it had a lot of promise, but any dreams of pummelling your opponent with a windmill flurry of blows are quickly shattered - this particular game doesn't reward quick, repeated movements, only "well-timed" ones.

Multiple players need a mote AND chuk each, which isn't currently worth the expenditure in my view - also, the facing player has a horrible perspective to play from.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Graphics aren't what this system's about, and certainly aren't the focus of this game - they're...okay. It's quite hard to see the flags in Golf, otherwise not noticeably good or bad - your extra Mii's make appearances in your Baseball squad, which is kind of cute. The little sounds from the mote really add to the feeling of personal involvement.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
You're never quite sure if you're doing stuff...correctly. Some actions seem a bit random, as things like slow putts in Golf just don't seem to register. The system does have it's limitations in the motion it can detect, and it can frustrate if your on-screen persona isn't doing exactly what you are. It's more a question of training yourself to move as the game expects, rather than getting too carried away with the perceived realism. I've actually played all these sports in real life, and it's hard to shake some habits, particularly leg and head movements, which of course aren't registered by the game.

'''Conclusion'''
A very entertaining get-everyone-playing introduction to the system, well worth the price of admission, disappointing in some areas, but leaving hunger for more in others. While the system shows massive potential, this game on it's own, while hugely enjoyable, isn't the best this system is capable of.

'''Score : 7.5/10'''

''FatherJack''

==The Witcher - PC==

'''Introduction'''

First things first, plot: it's a bit hackneyed (After dying 5 years ago then coming back to life somehow(this is explained later apparently), the protagonist has lost his memory). Look past this though and you'll see there has been a decent amount of thought put into it. Your character, (Geralt, or the "White Wolf" (possibly...)) is a mutated human, given extraordinary abilities after going through a series of trials when he was a wee bairn. Unfortunately, he cannae remember all his spells and moves initially, but a fairly thorough tutorial refreshes his memory in the short term, the rest is picked up along the way in the shape of story abilities (elements of your skill tree only learnt through NPCs you've completed quests for).

'''Characters & Consequences'''

The main characters' development is pretty solid, I'm actually caring about the plot characters and the choices I make that affect them. There are some less than interesting characters though, like Leo. Also, there are some horrible Americanisms like FJ said, but they can be ignored. I was going to say it'd be nice to have some kind of feedback from your personal choices (similar to NWN "your alignment has shifted one point towards XXX") but thinking about it, I'd rather have the surprises which I'm sure come later on in the game as a direct result of your choices.

'''Sights & Sounds'''

It sounds and looks incredible, especially in OTS (over the shoulder) mode sometimes it's hard to believe it's the same engine as NWN, given that it runs so much better than NWN 2 on my (not humble) machine.

I always wondered what it'd sound like to slice a Ghoul's head from its body, now I know. Voice acting is pretty damn good in parts, terrible in others but by no means game breaking.

'''Gameplay'''

Your attacks consist of sword and spell (or sign), The first 'sign' (telekinesis) feels 'meaty' and lots of fun to use and there's a lot of fun to be had with slicing the heads off enemies you've stunned or knocked down with your TK ability.

There's a very thorough skill tree for all your combat styles and signs (magic spells) and as usual, advancements come with levelling up and meditating, similar to Oblivion's rest system. It could easily have become bloated with all the dicking around with talent points, but they've avoided this well.

Worth noting too is the alchemy system, it becomes more indispensable depending on your difficulty setting and the potions are pretty good. Also I'm loving the Glossary/Bestiary sections of the journal, lots of background involved for added immersion.

It has apparently got its fair share of bugs (though I've not encountered any serious ones yet), but the devs seem keen to continue to support it, and the first patch has already been released (get it here).

On the whole, combat feels very good (a little 'consoley' but sometimes and with some games this is by no means a bad thing - The Withcer is one of these games). At times, the controls can feel a little sluggish, but I'm not sure if that's just me getting used to the combo/timing combat style. There are a few different control methods though, to suit the individual player's style. The game has clearly been developed with all 3 camera modes in mind, as it looks and works with each one well.

'''Conclusions'''

In conclusion, The Witcher has a very strong storyline (so far), it's dark, engaging and witty at times. It looks and sounds really good, and has a nice 'chunky' feel to it (twss). There are some good in game features, like dice poker (lots of fun, very addictive), fist fighting (good when pissed), drinking competitions (good when you get info out of someone for out drinking them) and the ability to get ladies into bed (just the one so far, Merigold) with just a wink and a flick of your wolf white hair. It has it's foibles, like the slight bugs and slight fail in voice acting at times, as well as the Americanisms. I say the controls are sluggish, but they don;t feel that way when you've landed a five hit combo on a bunch of drowners (not downers, read carefully).

In short, fans of a good, deep story, coupled with a nice bit of hound slaying/priest decapitating (I'm gonna pay for that one, I just know it) action will enjoy this. A cross between Oblivion and the Neverwinter Nights/Baldur's gate series.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Tandino''

==World of Warcraft - PC==
Any gamer who doesnt know what World of Warcraft is needs to see a brain doctor. Just in case, its the MMORPG version of the classic RTS Warcraft. Two sides split into several races, all with a classic fantasy theme (elves, orcs etc). Pretty damn big, and undoubtably the most successful MMO out there (financially at least).

'''Graphics'''
They went for a cartoon feel with this, and it works well. Beginning to get a little long in the tooth (no fancy bump-mapping or anything like that) but that just means you can now set most of the options way high, and see the lovely design in crispy-clear-o-vision. Looks stylistically the same as the RTS, just bigger. Works well, if you ask me, but its very much a personal taste thing.

'''Good bits'''
Easy to get into, you can dabble with it a bit more than EVE, severs are always busy so theres plenty of randoms to team up with if you so wish. Although it does nothing new, as such, what it does do it does very well. The balencing of things like leveling up to time spent playing seems right, the quests etc are not too hard but not too easy. Dancing animations.

'''Bad Bits'''
The servers are always *very* busy, so it can sometimes be a chore to find one that isnt groaning under the strain. Due to its popularity, theres a hell of a lot of annoying bastards whinging on the open channels, even by MMO standards (although that can always be fixed by just not watching the local channels.) There really is nothing new in there, so if you're bored of the fantasy thing, look elsewhere.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Joose''

As most of you have noticed, and to surprisingly little derision, I have been playing the World of Warcraft trial this week. I've got a 10 day trial with three days left, but now seems like a good time to file my report. You'll have to excuse me for comparing it to CoH, as it's the only real source of comparison (I could compare to Eve, but they're far too different and it wouldn't be constructive).

Now, as a 5punker I have always had a deep mistrust of this game. Rumour has it that it is populated by leetspeaking smacktards that make the game virtually unplayable, and that it'll steal your wife and job (and probably soul). So I went into this with a little apprehension and, I have to admit, a little excitement - millions of people can't be wrong, after all.

Before I make mention of the game itself I want to address the technical issues. It took about 13 hours to download the 3.16Gb client via the torrent-like download exe. I did try an alternative from a direct download, but upon running the download exe to catch any missing files it fucked it up. So the first day of my trial was spent downloading.
As with CoH I found that I'd downloaded the wrong version of the client - I had US, I wanted EU. Not too big a deal though - just create a new trial account on the EU server and adjust the config file to connect to Europe. All well and good, apart from now I have to fiddle that file every time there's an update, which is every other day (at about 2.5Mb too). On the good side, I've yet to see a lot of lag.

So the game then. I'm used to creating colourful, individual characters in CoH. In World of Warcraft there's not much scope for individuality. I have to say that even the higher level bods I've seen knocking about only seem distinguishable by their pets and mounts (especially the guy with the big white gorilla Smile). It might be possible to dye your outfits so that you can stand out, but neither me nor Joose have worked out how yet.
Outside of your character though, and the world is very detailed and colourful. Locations vary to the point of being able to instantly recognise where you are by the landmarks and terrain. The world is absolutely vast too - I've covered one area, of which there are probably about ten just on the Horde continent, and it's taken me all week. Populating this vast lansdcape are a healthy scattering of flora and fauna, some of which are hostile, someof which aren't. There's usually about three or four different types of beasties in any given location. The towns and cities too are busy both with players and NPCs - occasionally too busy in the big cities when you can't find a shop or trainer you want.

So it looks nice. Gameplay mostly involves completing quests, of which there are many. The variety isn't bad either. Quite a few are "Go and kill X amount of this type of thing", but these are infrequent enough to be quite refreshingly freeform against the "Go here and do this" type, which are nicely varied in their implementation. The rewards for quests are quite nice - often one of a selection of nifty bits of kit, and it has a Diablo style upgrade system. Not quite as compelling as Diablo (no "Holy crap that's a good sword" moments as yet), but it's nice to find something unusual.
Aside from grinding missions there's the crafting side of things to spur you out into the world. Crafting seems to work very well - there's quite a bit of variety in what you can do, and you can select two professions so you can compliment your resource gathering with your construction skills. It seems as though you can create gear that will be useful to yourself at the level you are, so you get a little satisfaction out of wearing your own armour or drinking your own potions. Selling your goods to NPCs seems to result in a loss though compared to selling the raw materials.

Finally, other people. I was surprised when I logged on for the first time and wasn't immediately called a noob. Since then I've been surprised at the lack of idiots I've seen. Sure there have been some - people constantly spamming me with duel requests being the worst - but for the most part interacting with people has been okay. I haven't teamed up yet - without TS I find it restrictive so I avoid randoms, but when refusing an invitation I'm often asked why and am generally thanked for explaining my reasons.
PvP interaction is interesting. There's the aforementioned duels, which is an arranged fight until one player is down to low health. You don't die from it, and if someone challenges you you can bet they're about ten levels higher. Then there's the raids where Alliance players will arrive and wreak havoc. These work very well - I seem to be ignored (I'm not sure if they can attack me for some reason), but they raid towns and kill the NPCs and any PCs looking for a scrap. Generally they're jumped on by high level players and sent packing (there's an automated channel dedicated to telling you which town is under PvP attack), but I've also seen a group conducting guerilla raids for hours to quite good effect. I never felt like this was griefing because I was always left alone, but they were menacing enough to make me reconsider my route. There's also a PvP arena, but I've not tried this.

I have two issues with the game though. The first is the team system. From what I've seen of it it's very inflexible. It pales in comparison to the extremely good sidekick and team mission system CoH has. I may be wrong, but I'm getting the impression that if I want to play with friends I'd better be of a similar level to them. This bothers me a lot, and if I'm stuck soloing because I'm going too fast or too slow compared to my friends then I can't see me sticking at the game. Which leads me to my other point, which is that there are only a couple of 5punkers play it. Any game is made far better by playing it with friends over TS, and this may never happen with this one. I know that most 5punkers either have already played it a lot and don't want to any more, or see so much stigma attached that they'll never try it. From the reaction I've had I think it's mostly the former - I've only had a gently ribbing rather than "He's one of them! Shun hiiiiim!".

'''Good points'''

Beautiful, detailed environment

Interesting quests

Good progression

Useful and accessible crafting

PvP Raid system

Death isn't a big problem

'''Bad points'''

Bastard to download (especially if you're a biff like me)

Poor team system

Lack of 5punkers

Not much depth (compared to Eve)

Lack of individuality

In conclusion, I'd say I was misled. I'm enjoying soloing my way around the game at the moment. I can pick it up and play for ten minutes, or for twelve hours, whichever I want. Has potential for CoH silliness, but doesn't have the individuality or the 5punky following.

''Dog Pants''

==World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade - PC==
Yup i managed to drag myself away from the game that we all know is gaming herion. The two new starting locations are both very different from the previous ones, there are many new quests and interesting story lines. But not nearly enough change in them, it is still very much a "Go to X kill X return to me with Y" or "Kill X ammount of Y's". That being said there was two or three that raised a chuckle, like dressing up as a tree to ease drop on a gnome and goblin.
The 60+ Content is to me Same shit different day. The only difference being that there is now a flying mount for you to spend 14 hours a day grinding money to purchase and 10 new levels and 10 new levels worth of gear to replace the old stuff that you spent about a year online to get.
But as much as i want to hate this game, there is we all know somthing about World of Warcraft that draws you in, the visuals are as they always were, breath taking. Both of the new races are very well crafted and the /silly emotes are at times funny.
As with all MMORPG's its the community that makes the game, and as 5 + million people play this game that also means that 4.99 million are complete wankers. Full use of the /ignore function and its bearable.
I reackon as with any game 5punkers play if people on 5punk got a group together we'd all have a laugh, then again we would do that with Uno.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Mikkyo''

==Worms 2 Open Warfare - Nintendo DS==

'''Introduction'''

This is the latest iteration of the long-running Worms series that started with a competition in Amiga Power (IIRC). Players control a team of invertibrates who lob a variety of conventional and not-so-conventional weapons at each other across a deformable sideways-on 2D map, much like Tanx, Gorillas, ar any other artillery game.

'''Gameplay'''

This version of Worms goes back to its roots on the DS after several full 3D outings on other platforms. As the name suggests, it plays much more like Worms 2 than any of the later games, although it feels a little bit lightweight compared to the originals. To compensate for this there's allsorts of DS goodness poured in, mostly in the form of mini challenge games.

The standard campaign is a standard linear battle through the various map styles, against increasingly difficult opponents. The difficulty curve is quite well gauged, and even though the CPU worms are unnervingly accurate you can usually outwit them. Progression brings reward points that can be spent on customising your team's look and sound, or on extra levels and resources with which to create your own.

The challenge games are rather interesting, possibly more so than the campaign. Split into categories of type, some involve effective use of the DS's unique controls, such as blowing your worm around on a parachute or drawing platforms for him with your stylus. They're all quite good and there's plenty of them.

'''Sights and Sounds'''

The game is colourful and cartoony, and makes the most of the DS's limited capacity. There are typically silly cutscenes too that can be amusing. Sound follows the same format, with loads of different voices for your wriggly troops.

'''Stuff that sucks'''

As a single player game it eventually gets a bit repetitive. The puzzles add a good few hours longetivity, but ultimately once you've done them and got fed up of the campaign you'll not find much reason to go back. Multiplayer over a wireless connection should be fun, although I've not tried it, and another DS owner can link up and play off your cartridge without having to own one themselves.

'''Conclusion'''

Back to the good old days, when worms were worms. Slightly lighter feeling than the originals, but with some nice additions for the platform. Possibly a bit too short.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Dog Pants''

==Zelda - A link to the Past - SNES==
Only one of the most awesome games evar. That's all I'm saying on the matter.

''Buzzmong''

DnD Characters

2011-02-07T08:40:31Z

FatherJack: /* Thor Yngve (THOR ING-VAY) */

=Player Characters=
==Active Characters==
===Forenrond Shankley===
'''Level 1 Rogue''' - Dog Pants

Half-elf. Hater of spiders and master-thief.

Of human mother and elven father, he falls into the rarer category of half breed. His slight frame and slightly pointy features are all he outwardly shows of his paternal heritage, but he has his mother's looks. This combines to create an image that should be attractive, but just doesn't fit together properly and gives the beholder more of a feeling of uncanny valley than elven beauty.

===Thoroar Glimmergaunt===
'''Level 1 Wizard''' - Baliame

Half-elf. Wears a classy monocle, likes to change his clothes a lot.

===Glibberig Garretty===
'''Level 1 Bard''' - Roman Totale

Gnome. World renowned Bard. Poet to Kings and courter of Princesses. He has slain dragons and charmed devils. It is rumoured that Garl Glittergold seeks his sage counsel on a regular basis.

Glibberig has white hair that sticks up wildly in all directions. It appears to have things in it for ornamentation - beads, coloured string, a magpie feather.

His outfit looks like it was quite plush at one point, though now it tattered and bloodstained. It looks like it has been stitched up several times as noted by the various coloured patches and thread, but still manages to look quite stylish, in a tinker-chic kind of way.

He now owns a dog as a mount - a Saint Bernard named Sweetlips. It is unknown whether the animal appreciates or even acknowledges the name, and it appears to posses an air of boredom and aloofness for the majority of its master's antics.

===Thor Yngve ''(THOR ING-VAY)''===
'''Level 1 Ranger''' - FatherJack

Thor Yngve.
Loner. Woodsman. Hunter.
A dark shadow in the forest. A ghost.

Thor Yngve.
Shepherd. Saviour. Hero.
Protector of the weak. Guardian of the lost.

Thor Yngve.
Whirlwind. Lightning. Deadly.
Strikes from the night. Leaves no trace.

Thor Yngve.
Enigma.

Thor wears a wide-brimmed hat, has a bow slung across his back and two nasty-looking blades at his waist. His tanned skin gives him a weathered, aged look, yet his brown eyes look bright and quick.

Thor Yngve (reported) quotes:

“I aint no Elf, yakking away with Mother Nature all day. I just live out in the forest with the animals. And I kill them. It’s a job.”

“I’m a simple man. Straightforward. I take simple pleasures and I straightforward come out and say what I mean. So give me a simple answer to this straightforward question: What are you doing in my forest?”

“I don’t much care for laws, and I have no need for property I can’t carry, but I know stealin’ when I see it.”

“Now then you see, we seem to have reached a disagreement. I had a disagreement with a bear once. I skewered him right through the chest and cut his old belly wide open. He didn’t disagree none with me no more after that.”

Little is known about Thor Yngve, yet much is said. Tales of him go back further than anyone can remember, so much is superstition and myth, as he can't possibly be as old as the tales. It’s told he once saved a boy-child lost in the forest and attacked by wolves, yet his spectre is used to scare disobedient children. He is known among local bandits as someone to be avoided, local villagers as someone to be wary of, but the local traders take his custom in meat and furs gladly.

There is speculation among the townsfolk that the current "Thor Yngwe" is a younger descendant of a great many "Thor Yngwe"s of old, or even that he's merely a pretender adopting the name, but there are equally wild speculations that he is a physical manifestation of a "spirit of the forest" which first gave rise to the name, which in various translations of the old tongue means "King of the lands which surround us" or "Forest Protector/Lord". The townspeople's innate superstition would preclude them from ever mentioning these theories to outsiders.

In their interactions with him, local villagers treat him with a very guarded respect. He is known to be plain-speaking and distrustful of ornate eloquence. Those subscribing to the more supernatural explanations fancy his steely gaze can penetrate their lies and those with a more pragmatic view see him as volatile and dangerous.

Universally, whether seeing him as a man, a legend, or a man pretending to be a legend, the locals are in favour of the way his presence gives bandits pause before causing trouble in the area. Equally though, none fully trust him or imagine they can discern his full motives.

===Orovan Gnarledtrunk===
'''Level 1 Druid''' - Shot2Bits

Gnome. Managed to find a Camel. How about that?

Orovan has dirty blonde matted hair and turquoise eyes, but looks fairly young for a gnome. Wearing leather armour with a wooden shield, he keeps a couple of short spears strapped to his back.

==Inactive Characters==
===Bartholomew LeGrande===
'''Level 1 Paladin''' - Joose

Human. General do-gooder and follower of St. Cuthbert.

===Sue Nobgor===
'''Level 1 Fighter''' - Pnut

Half-orc. Young, owns a battle axe. Resentful of the name his father chose for him.

===Baldrick Balders===
'''Level 1 Fighter''' - ProfHawking

Dwarf. Albino, pink hair, is a female despite the misleading name.

===Clive===
'''Level 1 Barbarian''' - Dr Kitteny Berk

Half-orc. Exceedingly stupid, has a sword bigger than himself.

===Shada===
'''Level 1 Sorcerer''' - Shada

Human. Probably likes cats, we haven't asked yet.

DnD Characters

2011-02-07T08:37:34Z

FatherJack: /* Thor Yngve (THOR ING-VAY) */

=Player Characters=
==Active Characters==
===Forenrond Shankley===
'''Level 1 Rogue''' - Dog Pants

Half-elf. Hater of spiders and master-thief.

Of human mother and elven father, he falls into the rarer category of half breed. His slight frame and slightly pointy features are all he outwardly shows of his paternal heritage, but he has his mother's looks. This combines to create an image that should be attractive, but just doesn't fit together properly and gives the beholder more of a feeling of uncanny valley than elven beauty.

===Thoroar Glimmergaunt===
'''Level 1 Wizard''' - Baliame

Half-elf. Wears a classy monocle, likes to change his clothes a lot.

===Glibberig Garretty===
'''Level 1 Bard''' - Roman Totale

Gnome. World renowned Bard. Poet to Kings and courter of Princesses. He has slain dragons and charmed devils. It is rumoured that Garl Glittergold seeks his sage counsel on a regular basis.

Glibberig has white hair that sticks up wildly in all directions. It appears to have things in it for ornamentation - beads, coloured string, a magpie feather.

His outfit looks like it was quite plush at one point, though now it tattered and bloodstained. It looks like it has been stitched up several times as noted by the various coloured patches and thread, but still manages to look quite stylish, in a tinker-chic kind of way.

He now owns a dog as a mount - a Saint Bernard named Sweetlips. It is unknown whether the animal appreciates or even acknowledges the name, and it appears to posses an air of boredom and aloofness for the majority of its master's antics.

===Thor Yngve ''(THOR ING-VAY)''===
'''Level 1 Ranger''' - FatherJack

Thor Yngve.
Loner. Woodsman. Hunter.
A dark shadow in the forest. A ghost.

Thor Yngve.
Shepherd. Saviour. Hero.
Protector of the weak. Guardian of the lost.

Thor Yngve.
Whirlwind. Lightning. Deadly.
Strikes from the night. Leaves no trace.

Thor Yngve.
Enigma.

Thor wears a wide-brimmed hat, has a bow slung across his back and two nasty-looking blades at his waist. His tanned skin gives him a weathered, aged look, yet his brown eyes look bright and quick.

Thor Yngve (reported) quotes:

“I aint no Elf, yakking away with Mother Nature all day. I just live out in the forest with the animals. And I kill them. It’s a job.”

“I’m a simple man. Straightforward. I take simple pleasures and I straightforward come out and say what I mean. So give me a simple answer to this straightforward question: What are you doing in my forest?”

“I don’t much care for laws, and I have no need for property I can’t carry, but I know stealin’ when I see it.”

“Now then you see, we seem to have reached a disagreement. I had a disagreement with a bear once. I skewered him right through the chest and cut his old belly wide open. He didn’t disagree none with me no more after that.”

Little is known about Thor Yngve, yet much is said. Tales of him go back further than anyone can remember, so much is superstition and myth, as he can't possibly be as old as the tales. It’s told he once saved a boy-child lost in the forest and attacked by wolves, yet his spectre is used to scare disobedient children. He is known among local bandits as someone to be avoided, local villagers as someone to be wary of, but the local traders take his custom in meat and furs gladly.

There is speculation among the townsfolk that the current "Thor Yngwe" is a younger descendant of a great many "Thor Yngwe"s of old, or even that he's merely a pretender adopting the name, but there are equally wild speculations that he is a physical manifestation of a "spirit of the forest" which first gave rise to the name, which in various translations of the old tongue means "King of the lands which surround us" or "Forest Lord". The townspeople's innate superstition would preclude them from ever mentioning these theories to outsiders.

In their interactions with him, local villagers treat him with a very guarded respect. He is known to be plain-speaking and distrustful of ornate eloquence. Those subscribing to the more supernatural explanations fancy his steely gaze can penetrate their lies and those with a more pragmatic view see him as volatile and dangerous.

Universally, whether seeing him as a man, a legend, or a man pretending to be a legend, the locals are in favour of the way his presence gives bandits pause before causing trouble in the area. Equally though, none fully trust him or imagine they can discern his full motives.

===Orovan Gnarledtrunk===
'''Level 1 Druid''' - Shot2Bits

Gnome. Managed to find a Camel. How about that?

Orovan has dirty blonde matted hair and turquoise eyes, but looks fairly young for a gnome. Wearing leather armour with a wooden shield, he keeps a couple of short spears strapped to his back.

==Inactive Characters==
===Bartholomew LeGrande===
'''Level 1 Paladin''' - Joose

Human. General do-gooder and follower of St. Cuthbert.

===Sue Nobgor===
'''Level 1 Fighter''' - Pnut

Half-orc. Young, owns a battle axe. Resentful of the name his father chose for him.

===Baldrick Balders===
'''Level 1 Fighter''' - ProfHawking

Dwarf. Albino, pink hair, is a female despite the misleading name.

===Clive===
'''Level 1 Barbarian''' - Dr Kitteny Berk

Half-orc. Exceedingly stupid, has a sword bigger than himself.

===Shada===
'''Level 1 Sorcerer''' - Shada

Human. Probably likes cats, we haven't asked yet.

DnD Characters

2011-02-07T08:30:42Z

FatherJack: /* Thor Yngve (THOR ING-VAY) */

=Player Characters=
==Active Characters==
===Forenrond Shankley===
'''Level 1 Rogue''' - Dog Pants

Half-elf. Hater of spiders and master-thief.

Of human mother and elven father, he falls into the rarer category of half breed. His slight frame and slightly pointy features are all he outwardly shows of his paternal heritage, but he has his mother's looks. This combines to create an image that should be attractive, but just doesn't fit together properly and gives the beholder more of a feeling of uncanny valley than elven beauty.

===Thoroar Glimmergaunt===
'''Level 1 Wizard''' - Baliame

Half-elf. Wears a classy monocle, likes to change his clothes a lot.

===Glibberig Garretty===
'''Level 1 Bard''' - Roman Totale

Gnome. World renowned Bard. Poet to Kings and courter of Princesses. He has slain dragons and charmed devils. It is rumoured that Garl Glittergold seeks his sage counsel on a regular basis.

Glibberig has white hair that sticks up wildly in all directions. It appears to have things in it for ornamentation - beads, coloured string, a magpie feather.

His outfit looks like it was quite plush at one point, though now it tattered and bloodstained. It looks like it has been stitched up several times as noted by the various coloured patches and thread, but still manages to look quite stylish, in a tinker-chic kind of way.

He now owns a dog as a mount - a Saint Bernard named Sweetlips. It is unknown whether the animal appreciates or even acknowledges the name, and it appears to posses an air of boredom and aloofness for the majority of its master's antics.

===Thor Yngve ''(THOR ING-VAY)''===
'''Level 1 Ranger''' - FatherJack

Thor Yngve.
Loner. Woodsman. Hunter.
A dark shadow in the forest. A ghost.

Thor Yngve.
Shepherd. Saviour. Hero.
Protector of the weak. Guardian of the lost.

Thor Yngve.
Whirlwind. Lightning. Deadly.
Strikes from the night. Leaves no trace.

Thor Yngve.
Enigma.

Thor wears a wide-brimmed hat, has a bow slung across his back and two nasty-looking blades at his waist. His tanned skin gives him a weathered, aged look, yet his brown eyes look bright and quick.

Thor Yngve (reported) quotes:

“I aint no Elf, yakking away with Mother Nature all day. I just live out in the forest with the animals. And I kill them. It’s a job.”

“I’m a simple man. Straightforward. I take simple pleasures and I straightforward come out and say what I mean. So give me a simple answer to this straightforward question: What are you doing in my forest?”

“I don’t much care for laws, and I have no need for property I can’t carry, but I know stealin’ when I see it.”

“Now then you see, we seem to have reached a disagreement. I had a disagreement with a bear once. I skewered him right through the chest and cut his old belly wide open. He didn’t disagree none with me no more after that.”

Little is known about Thor Yngve, yet much is said. Tales of him go back further than anyone can remember, so much is superstition and myth, as he can't possibly be as old as the tales. It’s told he once saved a boy-child lost in the forest and attacked by wolves, yet his spectre is used to scare disobedient children. He is known among local bandits as someone to be avoided, local villagers as someone to be wary of, but the local traders take his custom in meat and furs gladly.

There is speculation among the townsfolk that the current "Thor Yngwe" is a younger descendant of a great many "Thor Yngwe"s of old, or even that he's merely a pretender adopting the name, but there are equally wild speculations that he is a physical manifestation of a "spirit of the forest" which first gave rise to the name, which in various translations of the old tongue means "King of the lands which surround us" or "Forest Lord". The townspeople's innate superstition would preclude them from ever mentioning these theories to outsiders.

In their interactions with him, local villagers treat him with a very guarded respect. He is known to be plain-speaking and distrustful of ornate eloquence. Those subscribing to the more supernatural explanations fancy his steely gaze can penetrate their lies and those with a more pragmatic view see him as volatile and dangerous.

Universally, whether seeing him as a man, a legend, or a man pretending to be a legend, the locals are in favour of the way his presence gives bandits pause b efore causgin trouble in the area. Equally though, none fully trust him or imagine they can discern his full motives.

===Orovan Gnarledtrunk===
'''Level 1 Druid''' - Shot2Bits

Gnome. Managed to find a Camel. How about that?

Orovan has dirty blonde matted hair and turquoise eyes, but looks fairly young for a gnome. Wearing leather armour with a wooden shield, he keeps a couple of short spears strapped to his back.

==Inactive Characters==
===Bartholomew LeGrande===
'''Level 1 Paladin''' - Joose

Human. General do-gooder and follower of St. Cuthbert.

===Sue Nobgor===
'''Level 1 Fighter''' - Pnut

Half-orc. Young, owns a battle axe. Resentful of the name his father chose for him.

===Baldrick Balders===
'''Level 1 Fighter''' - ProfHawking

Dwarf. Albino, pink hair, is a female despite the misleading name.

===Clive===
'''Level 1 Barbarian''' - Dr Kitteny Berk

Half-orc. Exceedingly stupid, has a sword bigger than himself.

===Shada===
'''Level 1 Sorcerer''' - Shada

Human. Probably likes cats, we haven't asked yet.

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T23:01:58Z

FatherJack: /* Low Risk Trading - Recipes */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''FatherJack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas for easy profit with little effort.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main character's, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House GUI's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find many search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get your money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Low Risk Trading - Recipes ==

This method is the reverse of the Zero Risk one, in that you buy items from vendors and sell them to people on the Auction House. The trick is to select rare items which do not have a listing fee (which most auctions do). However, we have now introduced Risk, so let's have a new rule and talk about that:

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know ''why'' they are Risks. Then mitigate or explain them away.'''

While you will need a bit of cash to get started, you won't actually lose ''more'' money if you don't sell the items and have to relist them. However you've turned your cash into Assets and you won't get your original money back until you sell them, so that means you have less cash in the meantime to put into other moneymaking ventures.

So the Risks (and why) are:
* You won't sell the Assets right away (because the money you spent is tied up, as is a bag slot)
* You won't sell the Assets at all (the same, only for longer, plus it seems no-one wants to buy)
* You run out of money buying Assets (you have no money to play with)

We can combat these by:
* Applying Rule #4 - you still have the Assets, don't panic!
* Continuing to apply Rule #4 until your patience runs out, then you write off the Asset by selling back to a vendor at a loss
* Having a new rule!

'''Rule #6: Don't spend more than half your money on a gamble.'''

Okay, so following those, you won't entirely run out of money if it all goes wrong, but this gamble's rather a good one if you play it right.

'''What to buy'''

There are few items which do not require you to pay a listing fee when posting an auction. Examples include the reagents used by Enchanters and also Trade Skill recipes sold by certain vendors. Because Enchanters can produce a limitless supply of their reagents (and you can't) they make for a poor second-hand sales market, but because some recipes are ''only'' available from certain NPCs, there is a captive market.

Even better, many of these recipes are Limited Supply, meaning that they are only available to buy in very limited quantities, at random, refreshed every ten minutes or so.

Go and buy some, they are marked at vendors with a number in brackets - usually (1) - over their icon and while present in the major cities are both more common and desirable from far-flung places. You may find it easier to use your main character to travel and collect these items and post them to your Auction House character, but it is not a requirement - you can buy portals from Mages in the Trade channel to any major city and ressurrect at any graveyard your ghost can walk to provided you have logged since dying, but there's a plentiful supply in easily accessible areas, just check out the local shops and trainers.

Then list them on the Auction House, according to this rule:

'''Rule #7: Buy low. Sell high.'''

[to add: selling items screenshots/specifics]

[to add: price-profiling, undercutting, avoiding falling prey to zero-risking]

== More to come, later. ==

[to add: medium-risk trading - supply/demand]

[to add: high-risk trading - artificial price-fixing/market controlling]

[tba/future article - beyond 1000G, advertising, role play/market stall, guild factory]

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T22:31:51Z

FatherJack: /* Basics - Make a new character */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''FatherJack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas for easy profit with little effort.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main character's, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House GUI's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find many search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get your money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Low Risk Trading - Recipes ==

This method is the reverse of the Zero Risk one, in that you buy items from vendors and sell them to people on the Auction House. The trick is to select rare items which do not have a listing fee (which most auctions do). However, we have now introduced Risk, so let's have a new rule and talk about that:

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know ''why'' they are Risks. Then mitigate or explain them away.'''

While you will need a bit of cash to get started, you won't actually lose ''more'' money if you don't sell the items and have to relist them. However you've turned your cash into Assets and you won't get your original money back until you sell them, so that means you have less cash in the meantime to put into other moneymaking ventures.

So the Risks (and why) are:
* You won't sell the Assets right away (because the money you spent is tied up, as is a bag slot)
* You won't sell the Assets at all (the same, only for longer, plus it seems no-one wants to buy)
* You run out of money buying Assets (you have no money to play with)

We can combat these by:
* Applying Rule #4 - you still have the Assets, don't panic!
* Continuing to apply Rule #4 until your patience runs out, then you write off the Asset by selling back to a vendor at a loss
* Having a new rule!

'''Rule #6: Don't spend more than half your money on a gamble.'''

Okay, so following those, you won't entirely run out of money if it all goes wrong, but this gamble's rather a good one if you play it right.

'''What to buy'''

There are few items which do not require you to pay a listing fee when posting an auction. Examples include the reagents used by Enchanters and also Trade Skill recipes sold by certain vendors. Because Enchanters can produce a limitless supply of their reagents (and you can't) they make for a poor second-hand sales market, but because some recipes are ''only'' available from certain NPCs, there is a captive market.

Even better, many of these recipes are Limited Supply, meaning that they are only available to buy in very limited quantities, at random, refreshed every ten minutes or so.

Go and buy some, they are marked at vendors with a number in brackets - usually (1) - over their icon and while present in the major cities are both more common and desirable from far-flung places. You may find it easier to use your main character to travel and collect these items and post them to your Auction House character, but it is not a requirement - you can buy portals from Mages in the Trade channel to any major city and resurrect at any graveyard your ghost can walk to provided you have logged since dying, but there's a plentiful supply in easily accessible areas, just check out the local shops and trainers.

Then list them on the Auction House, according to this rule:

'''Rule #7: Buy low. Sell high.'''

[to add: selling items screenshots/specifics]

[to add: price-profiling, undercutting, avoiding falling prey to zero-risking]

== More to come, later. ==

[to add: medium-risk trading - supply/demand]

[to add: high-risk trading - artificial price-fixing/market controlling]

[tba/future article - beyond 1000G, advertising, role play/market stall, guild factory]

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T22:30:00Z

FatherJack: /* Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''FatherJack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas for easy profit with little effort.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main characters, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House GUI's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find many search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get your money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Low Risk Trading - Recipes ==

This method is the reverse of the Zero Risk one, in that you buy items from vendors and sell them to people on the Auction House. The trick is to select rare items which do not have a listing fee (which most auctions do). However, we have now introduced Risk, so let's have a new rule and talk about that:

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know ''why'' they are Risks. Then mitigate or explain them away.'''

While you will need a bit of cash to get started, you won't actually lose ''more'' money if you don't sell the items and have to relist them. However you've turned your cash into Assets and you won't get your original money back until you sell them, so that means you have less cash in the meantime to put into other moneymaking ventures.

So the Risks (and why) are:
* You won't sell the Assets right away (because the money you spent is tied up, as is a bag slot)
* You won't sell the Assets at all (the same, only for longer, plus it seems no-one wants to buy)
* You run out of money buying Assets (you have no money to play with)

We can combat these by:
* Applying Rule #4 - you still have the Assets, don't panic!
* Continuing to apply Rule #4 until your patience runs out, then you write off the Asset by selling back to a vendor at a loss
* Having a new rule!

'''Rule #6: Don't spend more than half your money on a gamble.'''

Okay, so following those, you won't entirely run out of money if it all goes wrong, but this gamble's rather a good one if you play it right.

'''What to buy'''

There are few items which do not require you to pay a listing fee when posting an auction. Examples include the reagents used by Enchanters and also Trade Skill recipes sold by certain vendors. Because Enchanters can produce a limitless supply of their reagents (and you can't) they make for a poor second-hand sales market, but because some recipes are ''only'' available from certain NPCs, there is a captive market.

Even better, many of these recipes are Limited Supply, meaning that they are only available to buy in very limited quantities, at random, refreshed every ten minutes or so.

Go and buy some, they are marked at vendors with a number in brackets - usually (1) - over their icon and while present in the major cities are both more common and desirable from far-flung places. You may find it easier to use your main character to travel and collect these items and post them to your Auction House character, but it is not a requirement - you can buy portals from Mages in the Trade channel to any major city and resurrect at any graveyard your ghost can walk to provided you have logged since dying, but there's a plentiful supply in easily accessible areas, just check out the local shops and trainers.

Then list them on the Auction House, according to this rule:

'''Rule #7: Buy low. Sell high.'''

[to add: selling items screenshots/specifics]

[to add: price-profiling, undercutting, avoiding falling prey to zero-risking]

== More to come, later. ==

[to add: medium-risk trading - supply/demand]

[to add: high-risk trading - artificial price-fixing/market controlling]

[tba/future article - beyond 1000G, advertising, role play/market stall, guild factory]

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T22:29:08Z

FatherJack: /* Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''FatherJack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main characters, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House GUI's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find many search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get your money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Low Risk Trading - Recipes ==

This method is the reverse of the Zero Risk one, in that you buy items from vendors and sell them to people on the Auction House. The trick is to select rare items which do not have a listing fee (which most auctions do). However, we have now introduced Risk, so let's have a new rule and talk about that:

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know ''why'' they are Risks. Then mitigate or explain them away.'''

While you will need a bit of cash to get started, you won't actually lose ''more'' money if you don't sell the items and have to relist them. However you've turned your cash into Assets and you won't get your original money back until you sell them, so that means you have less cash in the meantime to put into other moneymaking ventures.

So the Risks (and why) are:
* You won't sell the Assets right away (because the money you spent is tied up, as is a bag slot)
* You won't sell the Assets at all (the same, only for longer, plus it seems no-one wants to buy)
* You run out of money buying Assets (you have no money to play with)

We can combat these by:
* Applying Rule #4 - you still have the Assets, don't panic!
* Continuing to apply Rule #4 until your patience runs out, then you write off the Asset by selling back to a vendor at a loss
* Having a new rule!

'''Rule #6: Don't spend more than half your money on a gamble.'''

Okay, so following those, you won't entirely run out of money if it all goes wrong, but this gamble's rather a good one if you play it right.

'''What to buy'''

There are few items which do not require you to pay a listing fee when posting an auction. Examples include the reagents used by Enchanters and also Trade Skill recipes sold by certain vendors. Because Enchanters can produce a limitless supply of their reagents (and you can't) they make for a poor second-hand sales market, but because some recipes are ''only'' available from certain NPCs, there is a captive market.

Even better, many of these recipes are Limited Supply, meaning that they are only available to buy in very limited quantities, at random, refreshed every ten minutes or so.

Go and buy some, they are marked at vendors with a number in brackets - usually (1) - over their icon and while present in the major cities are both more common and desirable from far-flung places. You may find it easier to use your main character to travel and collect these items and post them to your Auction House character, but it is not a requirement - you can buy portals from Mages in the Trade channel to any major city and resurrect at any graveyard your ghost can walk to provided you have logged since dying, but there's a plentiful supply in easily accessible areas, just check out the local shops and trainers.

Then list them on the Auction House, according to this rule:

'''Rule #7: Buy low. Sell high.'''

[to add: selling items screenshots/specifics]

[to add: price-profiling, undercutting, avoiding falling prey to zero-risking]

== More to come, later. ==

[to add: medium-risk trading - supply/demand]

[to add: high-risk trading - artificial price-fixing/market controlling]

[tba/future article - beyond 1000G, advertising, role play/market stall, guild factory]

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T22:28:00Z

FatherJack: /* Low Risk Trading - Recipes */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''Father Jack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main characters, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House GUI's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find many search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get your money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Low Risk Trading - Recipes ==

This method is the reverse of the Zero Risk one, in that you buy items from vendors and sell them to people on the Auction House. The trick is to select rare items which do not have a listing fee (which most auctions do). However, we have now introduced Risk, so let's have a new rule and talk about that:

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know ''why'' they are Risks. Then mitigate or explain them away.'''

While you will need a bit of cash to get started, you won't actually lose ''more'' money if you don't sell the items and have to relist them. However you've turned your cash into Assets and you won't get your original money back until you sell them, so that means you have less cash in the meantime to put into other moneymaking ventures.

So the Risks (and why) are:
* You won't sell the Assets right away (because the money you spent is tied up, as is a bag slot)
* You won't sell the Assets at all (the same, only for longer, plus it seems no-one wants to buy)
* You run out of money buying Assets (you have no money to play with)

We can combat these by:
* Applying Rule #4 - you still have the Assets, don't panic!
* Continuing to apply Rule #4 until your patience runs out, then you write off the Asset by selling back to a vendor at a loss
* Having a new rule!

'''Rule #6: Don't spend more than half your money on a gamble.'''

Okay, so following those, you won't entirely run out of money if it all goes wrong, but this gamble's rather a good one if you play it right.

'''What to buy'''

There are few items which do not require you to pay a listing fee when posting an auction. Examples include the reagents used by Enchanters and also Trade Skill recipes sold by certain vendors. Because Enchanters can produce a limitless supply of their reagents (and you can't) they make for a poor second-hand sales market, but because some recipes are ''only'' available from certain NPCs, there is a captive market.

Even better, many of these recipes are Limited Supply, meaning that they are only available to buy in very limited quantities, at random, refreshed every ten minutes or so.

Go and buy some, they are marked at vendors with a number in brackets - usually (1) - over their icon and while present in the major cities are both more common and desirable from far-flung places. You may find it easier to use your main character to travel and collect these items and post them to your Auction House character, but it is not a requirement - you can buy portals from Mages in the Trade channel to any major city and resurrect at any graveyard your ghost can walk to provided you have logged since dying, but there's a plentiful supply in easily accessible areas, just check out the local shops and trainers.

Then list them on the Auction House, according to this rule:

'''Rule #7: Buy low. Sell high.'''

[to add: selling items screenshots/specifics]

[to add: price-profiling, undercutting, avoiding falling prey to zero-risking]

== More to come, later. ==

[to add: medium-risk trading - supply/demand]

[to add: high-risk trading - artificial price-fixing/market controlling]

[tba/future article - beyond 1000G, advertising, role play/market stall, guild factory]

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T21:50:35Z

FatherJack: /* Headline text */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''Father Jack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main characters, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House GUI's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find many search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get your money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Low Risk Trading - Recipes ==

This method is the reverse of the Zero Risk one, in that you buy items from vendors and sell them to people on the Auction House. The trick is to select rare items which do not have a listing fee (which most auctions do). However, we have now introduced Risk, so let's have a new rule and talk about that:

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know why they are Risks.'''

While you will need a bit of cash to get started, you won't actually lose more money if you don't sell the items and have to relist them. However you've turned your cash into Assets and you won't get your original money back until you sell them, so that means you have less cash in the meantime to put into other moneymaking ventures.

So the Risks are:
* You won't sell the Asset right away
* You won't sell the Asset at all
* You run out of money buying Assets

We can combat these by:
* Applying Rule #4
* Continuing to apply Rule #4 until your patience runs out, then you write off the Asset by selling back to a vendor at a loss
* Having a new rule!

'''Rule #6: Don't spend more than half your money on a gamble.'''

Okay, so following those, you won't entirely run out of money if it all goes wrong, but this gamble's rather a good one if you play it right.

'''What to buy'''

There are few items which do not require you to pay a listing fee when posting an auction. They include the reagents used by Enchanters, but also Trade Skill recipes sold by certain vendors. Because Enchanters can produce a limitless supply of their reagents (and you can't) they make for a poor second-hand sales market, but because some recipes are ''only'' available from certain NPCs, there is a captive market.

Even better, many of these recipes are Limited Supply, meaning that they are only available to buy in very limited quantities, at random, refreshed every ten minutes or so.

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T21:15:16Z

FatherJack: /* Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''Father Jack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main characters, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House GUI's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find many search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get your money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Headline text ==

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know why they are Risks.'''

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T21:08:08Z

FatherJack: /* Tools - Auctioneer */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''Father Jack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main characters, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House GUI's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find many search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get you money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Headline text ==

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know why they are Risks.'''

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T21:06:32Z

FatherJack: /* Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''Father Jack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main characters, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find many search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get you money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Headline text ==

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know why they are Risks.'''

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T21:04:11Z

FatherJack: /* Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor */

[[Image:Wow_gold.jpg|frame|All this could be yours! Maybe.]]

=Making Money in the World of Warcraft Auction House=
Perplexed by the Auction House, not sure how to make money with it? ''Father Jack'' offers a few tips on methods he's discovered. Don't pay for guides, waste time farming or risk trading with gold farmers - try out these ideas.

==Disclaimer & License==
This is my own guide, using methods I have discovered through experimentation. I offer it free for non-commercial use, providing credit is given where it is quoted. I have not read any gold guides and if any of the tips in here match with ones given in them, it is entirely coincidental. This disclaimer must also be quoted and supercedes any already on the page it is quoted on. Commercial use, or any use for personal gain such as increasing a contributor score is prohibited - link here instead.

==Basics - Make a new character==
These money-making tips are based almost entirely around using the Auction House and don't depend on preexisting character's abilities to travel, craft or collect any items - so go ahead and make a brand-new character just for money making.

Easiest is to make one on the same side as your main characters, but it's worth knowing there is much more money to be made as an Alliance character. If this opposes your main character, you'll need to trade with another player to transfer funds - I won't be covering this.

Time for a bit of psychology. Create an attractive-looking female character and give them a nice, pretty name. My experience shows that this increases the chances of characters interacting positively with you, even when it's just a name in the auction list. When you can afford it buy some nice clothes, so you stand out in the auction room - but in a good way. Calling your character ''Scrotum'' and starting an argument with the gold seller isn't going to get people queuing up to buy from you, neither is standing around in your underwear as ''JonBank''. Be polite and sign guild charters if asked - this may net you some free cash, but at the least prevents people cancelling your auction window with guild requests.

If you have some ''spare'' cash on an existing character, you can send the new one a bit to get going, maybe buying a few bags, but it's not essential - it's perfectly possible to start from a few coppers. But remember rule number one:

'''Rule #1: Easy come, easy go. Do not risk money you are not prepared to lose.'''

This is the benefit of starting a new character. You don't need the money for anything as you won't be levelling them, you don't risk any of your main character's money and you know what you started with, so can better gauge what to risk. Starting from nothing you can look on any money you've made as a bonus. You also don't accidentally sell items you wanted to keep, or clog up your travel bags when questing.

On your new char, do a couple of quests to get a few coins, then trot off to your nearest city to get started in the Auction House.

== Tools - Auctioneer ==
There is only one tool, or plugin which you need and that's Auctioneer. It's actually a whole suite of programs which modify the Auction House's appeareance, track your transactions, search for bargains and monitor your mailbox. It does other stuff too, but that's mostly what will be covered in here.

[[Image:firstscan.gif|frame|Auctioneer in action]]

'''How to use'''

Once installed, it needs data, so you need to tell it to scan the auctions. Talk to the auctioneer and press the button at the top of the window's toolbar that looks like a Play button. It will start a full scan, which can take up to 20 minutes. In future we'll use a quicker scan, but it's vital to get a full copy the first time.

When it's done you'll see the blue text at the bottom - showing the total number of auctions. This is your best guide to whether a full scan has been performed - get used to what numbers to expect where you play, it varies quite a lot between servers.

Because Auctioneer's accuracy is dependant on reliable data, it's critical to make sure you get full scans before embarking on any transactions with risk attached. Ideally, you should get a scan each day for a week for a good overview of the market on your realm. You can start zero-risk methods straight away, but always do a scan first, the first time you open it up.

'''Rule #2: Get lots of scan data so you have a higher confidence in Market Prices.'''

The tabs on the window, in context of this guide, are as follows:

Browse: Initiate scans and searches

Bids: Check what you're bidding on

Auctions: Check what you have up for sale

BeanCounter: Review historic sales data, shows profit made on items

Appraiser: Select items to put up for sale

Configure: Used to change default settings, but most of what's discussed in this guide can be done through the Searchers panel and it remembers them between windows. I have 'Enable Compact UI' set in there, which may not be the default, everything else should be

The last thing is Quick Scan, not pictured on the screenshot, as it's of a slightly older version, its icon in the top toolbar looks like a fast-forward symbol. Use instead of a normal scan, with a few caveats. It doesn't always produce a full scan, keep an eye on the numbers it reports. If it can't process the data fast enough, due either to your processor or network connection, you'll be logged out of the game - if this is the case you'll be stuck with the regular scans. I've found switching to the Appraiser pane and doing a couple of Refreshes of items when you first open the window helps prevent it from freezing at startup. Also hover over your inventory before starting a scan, as there's a brief lag there due to extra Auctioneer data being displayed.

== Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor ==

[[Image:vendor.jpg|frame|Searching for items to Vendor]]

With Zero Risk trading, you'll never lose money, but you won't make fantastic amounts either. Basically this revolves around buying stuff from the Auction House that people have put up for sale at a lower price than an NPC vendor would have given them. You redress this balance by buying the item yourself, then immediately selling it to any vendor at a small profit.

'''Rule #3: Zero Risk: Easy money.'''

Here's how to do it:

From the main Auctioneer window, right-click the magnifying glass icon in the top toolbar. Expand Searchers and choose Vendor. Type in a Minimum Profit, can be anything from 1c upwards. 1c is probably a bit low for the amount of time it takes to sell the items, but good for when you're first starting, anything over 1g is probably a bit unrealistic and you won't find any search matches.

While it's not strictly relevant here, I've shown the 'Check Seen count' option. This gives you a measure of confidence about what items are really worth by making sure they appear in its database at least as many times as specified, thus ensuring you have a few examples at different prices, rather than one or two freakishly high-or-low-priced ones skewing the data. Of course as Rule #2 states, you'll need a few scans to increase this reliability to a point where you're willing to take risks. Luckily though the Vendor prices should be correct, just be careful after a big patch.

Now click Search and (hopefully) watch the items show up in the data field. When it's done, you can sort by clicking the column headers - you can't quite see it in my hacked pic, but sort by Profit/descending - this is the order we'll buy stuff in in a step or two.

You'll notice the Reason field has Vendor:bid against all the items in my list, this is most common and means you'll have to bid for a chance to win each item, so no automatic profits just yet. Rarely it will say Vendor:buy when either the bid and buy prices are very close, or when you can buyout the item and still make the profit you entered in the Minimum Profit - while this is one reason not to set it too low, it has the benefit of meaning you win the item straight away, ie: instant profit!

Now, here's the trick. Rather than clicking each item and bidding on it, hold down CTRL+ALT+SHIFT. The Purchase button will change to Purchase All. Click it...but ONLY do this when Vendor searching, or you'll buy an awful lot of shit you don't want. It will still (on default settings) ask you confirm each purchase and do a little scan in the other window for other auctions of the same item, which can take a while - wait for the yellow number next to Welcome to get to 0 before closing the window.

If you don't have enough money for something, or someone else has already ninjaed in and bought it, it will skip it and carry on - that's why we sorted on the Profit field. Until you're ready for risky trading, that's you done for now, so time for a new rule:

'''Rule #4: Be patient.'''

Auctions last for up to 48 hours, so stroll over the mailbox and logout. Don't bother logging in again until tomorrow unless you already have mail waiting. You might get outbid - it doesn't matter, it was free money anyway - chalk it off as unlucky and let the other guy win - if everyone stays on 24/7 and constantly rebids, no-one ever makes more than 1c from this method, the average market prices go up, no-one ever posts items below market value and none of us make money. It's not eBay - bid and forget.

The next day, open your mail and grab everything. I use the EasyMail plugin to grab all, your choice with that. You may have been outbid, in which case you get you money back, and you may have won some auctions. Cleverly Auctioneer marks your inventory items with the Reason you bought them, as per the field when you bid on it - so waltz over to a vendor and sell everything marked Vendor. Yes...Profit!

== Headline text ==

'''Rule #5: Know your Risks and know why they are Risks.'''

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:48:04Z

FatherJack: /* Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:43:28Z

FatherJack: /* Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:43:10Z

FatherJack: /* Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:40:18Z

FatherJack: /* Tools - Auctioneer */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:39:14Z

FatherJack: /* Tools - Auctioneer */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:34:33Z

FatherJack: /* Basics - Make a new character */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:33:31Z

FatherJack: /* Basics - Make a new character */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:29:50Z

FatherJack: /* Disclaimer & License */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:27:10Z

FatherJack: /* Disclaimer & License */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:25:36Z

FatherJack: /* Basics - Make a new character */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:22:36Z

FatherJack: /* Basics - Make a new character */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T20:17:18Z

FatherJack: /* Zero Risk Trading - The Vendor */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T19:45:00Z

FatherJack: /* Tools - Auctioneer */

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T17:30:08Z

FatherJack:

File:Vendor.jpg

2009-06-16T17:17:58Z

FatherJack:

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T17:02:56Z

FatherJack:

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T17:02:08Z

FatherJack:

File:Firstscan.gif

2009-06-16T16:12:00Z

FatherJack:

The World of Warcraft Auction House

2009-06-16T15:50:01Z

FatherJack:

Category:Articles

2009-06-16T14:28:40Z

FatherJack: /* Articles */

5punk Articles go here. They are INSIGHTFUL and HELPFUL and probably CURE CANCER.

==Articles==
[[Counting the Pennies]]

[[Fear of the Online]]

[[The World of Warcraft Auction House]]

==Reviews==
[[Plants Vs Zombies]]

File:Wow gold.jpg

2009-06-16T14:20:33Z

FatherJack:

Category:Articles

2009-06-16T14:14:14Z

FatherJack: /* Articles */

5punk Articles go here. They are INSIGHTFUL and HELPFUL and probably CURE CANCER.

==Articles==
[[Counting the Pennies]]

[[Fear of the Online]]

[[Making Money in WoW]]

==Reviews==
[[Plants Vs Zombies]]

ReviewsQU

2009-05-09T02:13:54Z

FatherJack: /* Silverfall */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews Q to U=

==Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas - PC==
Runs like a zero-legged dog which has been shot and buried in concrete. Uses amazing shader model 3 effects which realistically simulate having smeared vaseline all over your screen. Stupid mandatory checkpoints ensure the bad guys have you where they want you.

''FatherJack''

==RF Online - PC==
Wierd Korean MMO. I heard lots of hype about it being different and cool, but the couple of days play I gave it before getting pissed off does not show this at all. It's just another generic MMO with a mildly different setting trying to do the job of original thought.

'''Graphics'''
Nice enough, but again, not great. Also, everyone looks exactly the same. The fucking Cybermen had more individuality.

'''Good points'''
....erm...there's stompy robots....

'''Bad points'''
...but apart from the fact that they look stompy, they are just another generic MMO race. Look at the bad points for most of the above games, pretend they are all about this one. Pretty much sums it up.

''Joose''

==Rogue Galaxy - PS2==
Very nice-looking RPG in the cell-shaded style of Dragon Quest (VIII). Combat, though is a nasty button-mashy affair that basically ruined the experience. In my view, a waste.

''FatherJack''

==Saga of Ryzom - PC==
A french developed title, I believe, and you can tell. Its all so undefinably continental. One of the rare MMO's that tries to break from the standard "heres a world, theres magic elves and orks" thing, this has some original races and a pretty original (even award winning) storyline. Also features some interesting technology such as realistic modeling of herding behavour in animals and a rather nice skills system.

'''Graphics'''
Nice, but fairly bog standard. Not so bad it makes you cry, but nothing that'll make you go "oooh". Some of the creature design is rather lubberly though.

'''Good things'''
The storyline is both original and good, it tries (and mostly suceeds) to do new things without breaking stuff thats tried and tested.

'''Bad stuff'''
Nothing specific, unless you have a particular hatred for French things.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Joose''

==Silverfall (review based on demo)==
Sort of Dungeon Siege-ish. Controls not only non-defianble, but can't check what they actually are. View-spin is middle-mouse, so that sucks as mine is a smooth-scrolly one which never registers. Three monsters pop out of nowhere, I click to attack. Oh, I have to click again, for each individual attack, that's rather tedious. I die. I lose all my equipment. Apparently it's in a gravestone, right where the remaining two monsters are standing waiting for me. Erm, no thanks.

''Fatherjack''

==Sin Episodes - Emergence==

Short and fairly sweet actually for an action romp. Comes free with Sin 1 and it's expansion when purchased via Steam.

On it's own, it's not bad, some nice concepts, plays fairly well. It could have done with more than 3 weapons, some sections are mean to get through, but for a pure fps action romp s'not bad, just rather short.

I suspect if Ritual hadn't have been sold on (and key employee's leaving at the time), bits would have been added in the other 8 episodes, which would have probably made up a great game when played together.

Shame really, as Ritual made some rather good games, they'll be missed.

Emergence when compared to SiN1, doesn't hold a candle to it I'm afriad, the first game was much more FUN, had more interactivity in the environment (which nearly everything could be played with), more guns, more enemies, just not as shiny gfx.

'''Score : 4.5/10'''

''Buzzmong''

==Space Empires IV - PC==

'''Introduction'''

Some of you may have noticed me playing this rather a lot this weekend, so I thought I'd chuck a review together. SEIV is a turn based strategy game in the same vein as Civlisation. Starting on your little homeworld in a corner of the galaxy, and expanding across systems in order to gather more resources for your empire. New technologies are researched along the way and other races will interact in trade and war. This isn't a new game - in fact there's a Space Empires V - but apparently it's the best in the series and it's only a fiver off Steam. Better still, it's very customisable and there are player created mods for popular sci-fi settings like Star Wars, Star Trek and Babylon 5.

'''Gameplay'''

The game is played out on maps of the various solar systems. These are linked together by warp points (like wormholes) which allow ships to travel between systems. Within the sytems are planets that need to be colonised and exploited to provide space for the facilities that support your empire and the resources with which to build them. There aren't a massive amount of facilities to choose from, but that's no bad thing as planets can be earmarked for set roles and once all the facility slots are full they pretty much run themselves.
The variety comes in the way spacecraft work. Every ship is built to a design created by the player using modules that have been researched. There's a large variety of these modules to do various things, but not so large that it's overwhelming. Ships can then be built in the spaceyards and formed into fleets. Most ships will inevitably be warships, but others can colonise planets and later in the game create or destroy them.

The early stages of a typical game will involve designing a simple ship with which to explore, while colonising the nearby planets in your starting system. Early on you'll only be able to colonise one (of three) types of planets, so most will remain empty. As your exploration of the galaxy continues other races will be met. Generally they're friendly and will want to trade (a simple mechanism that's automated), but they still seem to destroy your explorers given chance.
Colonisation of nearby worlds isn't too taxing and expansion happens pretty quickly - it's rare to be sat waiting for resources to be generated before something can be built.

Eventually the borders between empires will become narrow enough for tension to build, and other races begin to get tetchy. By this point enough research has usually been done to enable some half decent combat ships to be built, although hostilities seem to be mostly restricted to espionage and sabotage with only a few skirmishes and lots of rattling of sabres. By this point different colony types should be available and all planets will be supporting the war machine. Even so, every ship costs to maintain and they're quite a drain on the economy. Hostile planets can be put under siege or bombed in a variety of unpleasant ways so that you can recolonise them with your own people.

Towards the end of a game technology advances will allow ships to be designed that pull asteroid fields together to create new (and usually very rich) planets. After this new stars can be created, warp points opened and closed and other stellar terrain features adjusted. Combat will by now include dreadnaughts and carriers launching dozens of fighters in large scale fleet combat.

'''Sights and Sounds'''

The graphics and sounds are a little dated, but in a game such as this that's not such a big deal. What's more, all of it can be modified either by non-official mods or, if you're feeling brave, by the player. It's functional and clear though.

'''Stuff that sucks'''

Well, it's pretty ugly. That's not a big deal and it can be fixed with mods, but it might put some off. The AI isn't brilliant and tends to contradict itself, but again this can be remedied with mods. The only real complaint I've had is that there's no consistency with how many slots for facilities each planets have, so siting your colonies is a bit hit and miss.

'''Conclusion'''

It really is Civilisation in space. A little bit simpler than Civ, but also more geared to war. Anyone looking for a game that will suck up their time, and games take a very long time, might do well to invest. For the price you can't really go wrong.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Dog Pants''

==Star Wars Battlefront II - PSP==

I've played this on other consoles and enjoyed it enough to think that buying it on the PSP was a good idea. Oh dear, how wrong I was.
The lack of a dual analogue stick makes this came become almost unplayable as there is no auto-aim feature whatsoever, and the chance of lining up a long range shot (which was always necessary in the game on other consoles) is nigh on impossible.
The graphics are pretty poor as well, and add this to long loading times, well you can kind of guess the end result.
Very poorly ported across to the PSP, and I will avoid all FPS games on the PSP in future, unless they've been made specifically with the PSP controls in mind.

'''Score : 3/10''' (What should have been a quick fun game, has been turned into an uncontrollable ugly turd)

''Woo Elephant Yeah''

==Star Wars Galaxies - PC==
The star wars setting as an MMO. Be a wookie, go to tatoine and blast things. Or build houses. meh.

'''Graphics'''
Alright, but nothing special. Not totally awfull, but certainly dated.

'''Good points'''
Its star wars.

'''Bad points'''
Its actually Everquest. It just *looks* like starwars. Plus, its a hell of a lot of work to become a jedi, so dont let that tempt you. I fear it is beyond the reach of any 5punkers.

'''Score : 3/10''' (2 of which is purely because its star wars).

''Joose''

==Supreme Commander - PC ==
Most of you won't have noticed but I have recently bought Supreme commander, and have had time to have a bit of a play test. There are 3 different box sets available from each major online retailer (Play, Game and Amazon). Each box comes with a few bits and pieces centred around one of the factions, such as a poster, a postcard type thing and also a DVD with various videos, pictures etc.

'''The factions'''
As I mentioned earlier there are 3 factions. There is the UEF (United Earth Federation), Cybran Nation and the Aeon Illuminate. All three have similar tech trees and the only real difference is in the way that the units look. The UEF is basically an Earth government looking to reunite the universe as much of the human population is spread out over vast galaxies. The Cybran Nation is essentially made of cyborg-type people who were shunned by the old governments of earth and escaped to form their own. Also there is the mysterious Aeon Illuminate who are a human cult which glorified an ancient extinct alien race and looked to impress their ways on the rest of the universe.

'''Gameplay'''
From what I have played of this it feels much like total annihilation. Battles are swift and most units have just one purpose (anti-ground, anti-air and anti-sea). Resources are based around a similar system to total anihilation too with only Mass (collected from certain locations on the map) and energy (created via power plants).

'''Graphics'''
The graphics are pretty swish, from the missiles to the giant factory behemoth you can build. It does however draw quite a few resources and I found on high settings it was mushing even my ATI1900XTX. Plenty of options to turn down for you penny pinchers (dollar pinchers in deject's case)

Ok, finally to the conclusion... I'd say if you were a fan of total anihilation or of any modern RTS game you will enjoy this. Reasonably priced at £24.99 (for a brand new game) I can see plenty of 5punkers enjoying this game whether its for beating up the AI or fellow gamers.

''Killavodka''

==System Shock 2 (PC)==
Awesome game, good plot, good twists, fps/rpg hybrid. Scary atmosphere, well built. A must play.

''Buzzmong''

==UT2004 - PC==
Shiny updated Unreal dealy.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny berk''

==Unreal Tournament 3 - PC==
Alright, since I don't see any reviews of this around, let's get bashy.

'''Graphics'''
I cannot complain at all about this: it's beautiful, but it eats lots of computer resources. It's runnable on old piece of hardware, but quite frankly on my ATI Radeon X1600 it looked like Doom 2, on my current video card, which I haven't memorized yet, it's more comparable to Crysis. It uses quite stunning new effects for a change, although most of the time, these effects also make you wonder what the fuck killed you because you couldn't see anything.

'''Gameplay'''
The singleplayer mode deviates from those of the old Unreal Tournaments, in fact, this isn't even Unreal Tournament, it's more like Tabula Rasa with less RPG and more big stompy robots. In the campaign, you proceed through designated points in a fabulous unnamed planet, which makes it seem like some ghetto war for turf where you can collect protection money. A noticable thing is that the two characters who give you briefing have a black english accent thing comparable to that of MC Hammer. Otherwise, the game follows the quite pleasant shoot'n'kill-shit-esque approach of the last 4 games with the same usual gamemodes. Which is getting quite old.

The protagonist is a non-ghetto guy (for a change, yay) who has a sister (that means no sex in the game, probably), and is ordered around by two times ex-champion Malcolm who you probably fought in the last round of each Unreal Tournament previously and also bears the previously mentioned ghetto speech. The game also seems to promote spontaneous declaration of war on innocent people, which is quite good if you ask me.

Oh yes, the game stores your campaign offline and online seperately. So if you start a campaign online then login server goes down (which happens pretty often) you're pretty much fucked unless you fancy starting a new one.

'''Artificial Stupidity (AI)'''
This is so long that I have to separate it from Gameplay. Basically the game features the EXTREMELY UBERDUMB and the EXTREMELY WTFPWN AI.

The earlier ones are also known as "teammates" although "blockers" would be a better expression. These uberdumb ai guys cannot take down a single guy who only has an impact hammer in 5v1, grab the flag in CTF then run around and fight stuff, get stuck in walls quite often, get inside vehicles then drive them into a wall and don't do anything for quite a while, or the most annoying aspect, in VCTF, they get in FUCKING vehicles then while I'm bringing home the FUCKING flag on a FUCKING hoverboard they FUCKING drive in front of me yelling "LOLZ!!!!111 I COVER you're ASS!!!11". Speaking of which, they have a useful habit of telling you the position of the enemy. Or it perhaps WOULD be useful if they'd like tell you where they were. When they spot a significant enemy anywhere in the map, they yell "Enemy <lol> here!". I'm still trying to figure out where the fuck is here.

The latter ones are those who use aimbots, wallhax, instagib enforcers and everything else at the same time. You may also know these bots as "the opposing team".

'''Sounds'n'shit'''
I cannot think of any complaints here. The sound effects (along with visuals) are well-timed and also well in-place. Voice acting is great, despite the fact that most of them is unnecessary, except for the campaign stuff of course.

'''Multiplayer'''
The game suffers from minor master server problems and other major retardation. First of all, the login server crashes quite often, quite an inconvenience. If you ever manage to log in you will notice two things in the server browser: The pings are quite high. I know. I joined a 2k ping server and it played normally. And that there are little servers. Oh yes, Epic messed up by releasing early without redirect support. Practically, this means only completely vanilla servers appear in your server browser. If we put all this aside, the multiplayer is quite enjoyable, adrenaline-rising, fast paced, and although it's full of douchebags as usual, it won't really affect your experience. Unless of course they're stealing the goliaths and ramming them into mountains.

'''Overall'''
Despite all the Yathzee-style bashing on the game, I believe it's quite enjoyable. Pros are the new storyline, which finally isn't another random tournament event, the stunning graphics and sound effects, cons are the rather irritating AI and multiplayer system, but despite these, the good is still seriously outweighing the bad, and at the end of the day, you realize you are playing quite an enjoyable game.

'''Score : 7.5/10'''

''Baliame''

ReviewsIL

2009-05-09T01:58:33Z

FatherJack: /* Just Cause */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews I to L=

==Jade Empire (Limited Edition) - XBox==
Creators
Bioware. Made Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights and Knights of the Old Republic. All of them Action RPGs with familiar backstories - the first two in a D&D setting with a game world spanning 12 games/add-ons and the last one being set in the Star Wars universe, hugely successful amongst the fans who had actually grown up since the original trilogy.

They could have made the sequel to Knights, but they didn't: they made Jade Empire. I'm rather glad they did.

'''Graphics'''
While the consequence of this is that Knights II was rather clumsy graphically, Jade Empire is absolutely beautiful – while the Xbox is probably the most powerful of the current consoles they get more out of it than I thought possible, given it's based on technology which seems very outdated to PC users. Smoke effects, running water, rain, fountains, waterfalls and an amazing water trickling over stone effect all add to a believable and wonderfully detailed world. Typically as the Xbox's replacement looms into view we only just begin to see what it is capable of.

'''Level Design'''
I always judge a good "map" or "level" by how easy it is to remember – if after a couple of runs around you pretty much know your way around, the designers have done their job – they've made it "real" and they've made it distinctive. A perfect map of your old school's corridors isn't going to make a great level, and no level is going to win awards if it's all made out of plain concrete.

'''New Thing'''
This is a new thing for Bioware – the game world is basically ancient China, but a China where all the stories you ever heard about magic and demons and crazy kung foo antics were all true. Plenty of Emperors, Monks and Spirits too. They went a bit mad with it, and I'm not sure if there's enough left for a sequel. What's not new is the "Open Palm"/"Closed Fist" meter - it's just the "Light Side"/"Dark Side" meter taken straight out of Knights and while the game has plenty to say on the merits of either course, in actuality it's a good/evil choice as usual.

'''Gameplay'''
The controls are a little different from a regular RPG, and more what you'd expect from a game based around martial arts, but are nowhere near as hard to master as a straight beat-em-up. Actually there's loads of things to help you – there are buttons for healing, dealing more damage and even a "bullet-time" mode – the latter two only really being necessary when you're in a desperate scrape.

'''Summary'''
Overall I found it rather fun, most of the lines are spoken in not-too-annoying style, the good/bad thing works well, difficultly is constantly adjustable so you shouldn't get stuck/bored, there's a nice variety of missions from finding lost animals to repelling a siege, great story and it looks superb.
Having finished "good", I will probably give it another play through as "evil", but not right away.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''The limited edition reviewed here gives you an extra selectable character Monk Zeng but his Leaping Tiger move is available to other characters, so I'm not sure if it's an exclusive - it was my favourite move, though. You also get a Making Of DVD which is reasonably interesting, but recorded at a pitifully low resolution and probably available for download from the game TV channel it was taken from''

''FatherJack''

==Just Cause (review based on demo)==
Non-remappable controls and so rather hard to move about. Rather throws you in at the deep end, your first task being to free fall, parachute and land on a moving car. Inevitably failing and giving chase on a motorbike reveals vehicle control to be too sensitive and the vertical camera controls are reversed. Did I mention the controls weren't remappable? I'm using a mouse you fucktards, Up means look Up. Shot the floor a lot, got lost and gave up.

''Fatherjack''

==KillZone: Liberation - PSP==

Probably one of the most original shooters I've played, as it takes you into a beautifully done Isometric view of the Battlefield.
Not only are the graphics some of the best I've seen on a handheld, it also feels like you are playing something very different to that of any other shooter in the past.
It gets around the lack of a dual analog on the PSP by auto aiming at an enemy nearby that you are facing, or further away if you choose a weapon such as a sniper rifle.
You also have to use cover lots, and shooting nearby explosive barrels, and teasing spider mines into walking into enemies is also a lot of fun as well Laughing
This game is more about tactics than being a good aim, and I have had to replay levels over and over again until I work out a strategy that works on the map, and it's the tactical side of the game that I'm suprisingly enjoying the most, as tacticts/strategy is not my usual cup of tea.
You also have to command team mates on quite a few fo the maps, plus you can share the game and play co-op with anyone who has a PSP regardless of whether they have the game or not.
Definitely worth the £20 at GAME considering it's not long been released, and probably my second favourite PSP title.
If you fancy it, there is a demo in the /downloads area of 5punk.

'''Score : 8/10''' (Beautiful looking and original shooter that can interest those of us who want something a little different to play than your average FPS)

''Woo Elephant Yeah''

==Knights of the Old Republic - Xbox/PC==
d20 RPG, best Star Wars game ever.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Deject''

==Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time - N64/GC==
60-90 hours of remarkably brilliant RPG, getting a little dated now.

'''Score : 8.5/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Lord of the Rings Online - PC==

Right, since we are experiencing our third 5 hour+ downtime of the last week, I'll pen a quick review.

I doubt I'll have to explain the story behind this so I'll get right to it. You start the game as Frodo plans to leave the Shire. The main plot line (your 'Epic' quest, which is constantly moving along as you level and complete the tasks) runs parallel to the story in the book.

The class and race options are a bit limited in my opinion: man, dwarf, elvses and hobbitses, with which you can play a hunter, burglar, champion, guardian, lore master, or minstrel. The classes are fairly straight-forward, although there is a 'Trait' system allows you a good scope for personalising the way they turn out by completing certain tasks as you go along.

It's a slow burner; at first I was slightly meh towards it. I have yet to really feel part of the whole LotR experience, though this might be explained by my never really being a huge fan of it. However, as you get into the story and start to see people and places you recognise, it draws you in. They have done a good job of taking a story which I would expect 95% of the people playing know very well (through the book or the films) and yet still keeping you looking forward to the next bit of the plot.

It has a few new features here and there, and if you played World of Warcfaft it will feel very familiar but overall it doesn't really do anything new. That said, I am really enjoying it. It is clear that a lot of work has gone into it and at max settings it looks fucking incredible (you can see for miles). Fan or not, I'd say it's worth a punt if you like MMONG's.

''Sheriff Fatman''

ReviewsEH

2009-05-09T01:54:46Z

FatherJack: /* Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - ==GameCube */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews E to H=

==ElderScrolls 4: Oblivion - PC==

Addictive, but rubbish leveling and combat compared to Morrowind, best graphics evar!

'''Score : 6.5/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Empire Earth II - The Art of Supremacy Expansion - PC==
More of the same, take spear-wielding hunter-gatherers and take them through the ages, via cannons, planes, nuclear bombs and stompy robots. Adds the Russians, Massai, Zulus and er..the French.

''FatherJack''

==Empire Earth III==

Rather disappointing, the previous game is actually better and more fun to play even now. There are less 'ages' and the only real addition is a campaign mode where you capture regions on a rotatable globe. The "story" just seems to give up after a few rounds, and too many objectives are bugged to impossibility or very near it, meaning you need units in place before timers start.

''FatherJack''

==Everquest 2 - PC==
As standard a RPG fare as you can get really. The sequal to one of the grandaddies of MMO's, and to be honest, it's basically the same game with a shiny makeover.

'''Graphics'''
Technically very good. They shine in the right places, everything looks sufficiently bumpy and realistic (in stark contrast to World of Warcraft). However, its all a bit paint-by-numbers, and lacks soul. Its kinda wierd to describe, as all the component parts are there, and very nice, but the whole looks fucking horrible.

'''Good bits'''
To be honest, I have no clue. I played a week long trial, and at not one moment did I see anything that isn't done just as well, if not better by other games.

'''Bad bits'''
Its very generic, the graphics are both horrible to look at and hard on your system, it's just not very interesting. Having said that, they are the only major complaints about it too. Its just too...bland.

'''Score : 5/10'''

''Joose''

==Eve Online - PC==
Most of you know it, but for those that dont, think updated ELITE, but MMOised. For those shocking few who might not know what elite is: Trading/mining/flying about shooting things in space. Also some other stuff, like researching and manufacture. All based around corporations and buisness, set in a very Iain M Banks style fairly believable future-world.

'''Graphics'''
Shiney, but can be scaled down to run on practically anything. Updated graphics soon promise to make it even shinier.

'''Good things'''
Sense of community, sense of achievement when you get stuff (as its harder than most MMO's to get things, and easier to lose them), flexibility with characters, reasonably good dev support, very different "feel" to other MMO's, will last you a long time (if you like it). Skills carry on training when you are not logged in. Really, really complex.

'''Bad things'''
Sucks time from you like a big temporal hoover. You cant really play this casually and get enough from it. Can be crushingly bad when you lose something thats taken you months to achieve because some wanker of a space-pirate. Really, really complex.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Joose''

==Fable : The Lost Chapters - PC==
Fun console port to PC. Just fun to play. Let me say fun again as it is just that. A real no brainer, linear, humorous, fun time waster. Did I mention that it's fun?

''Yamon''

==FarCry - PC==
Good FPS, Probably one of the best ever made.

'''Score : 8/10 '''

''Dr. Kitteny berk''

==Far Cry: Vengeance - Wii==
Takes a bit of getting used to the controls, which work okay with practice, although some simple actions are needlessly complex. Graphically poor, especially given PC Far Cry's quality. Grainy, jerky movies, a very obvious cone of light around you and horrible HDR. Not online capable, and two players need a mote and chuk each.

''Fatherjack''

==Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - GameCube==
Only stylistically like the classic FF series. A clumsy real-time combat system spoils a pretty-looking game.

''FatherJack''

==Forza Motorsport - Xbox==
Gran Turismo for the xbox, but better.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Forza Motorsport 2 - XBox 360==

'''Introduction'''
The eagerly-anticipated "next-gen" sequel to the definitive XBox driving game, perhaps the* definitive console driving game.

'''Gameplay'''
Nice. After a brief period of re-introduction it's clear the old game is still there. Instant gratification with decent cars from the get-go are the hallmark of the series, and that's still the case. Just buy a car, race it a bit, upgrade it, pwn. The original (at least in SP) was never about being the most perfect driver ever, or passing a million license tests, just (sort of) getting the job done.
Only gameplay difference I've noticed is in the "hired driver" aspect - rather than train or coach your stand-in, you simply select a CPU driver of a certain level, who then takes a de-facto cut, from 55-100% of your winnings.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Well, I thought it looked pretty nice at first, and actually it still does show pretty much what you need to see - but it could do a bit more. Cars are quite ridiculously shiny, but the draw distance doesn't always keep up. Don't get me wrong, it pisses all over anything previously - but it's not perfect. Other games have demonstrated that there can be a lot more "going on" on the screen, but I think the clean interface serves this game well.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
Umm, it is a bit easy. Okay I know I'm like the supar-leetest drivar evar, but this pushes it a bit. You will always win a computer-controlled race if you have the best PI on the grid, but it's also a piece of piss to win manually with the worst car. MP will put you firmly in your place, but it is a bit of a munchkin-fest getting the unlocks.
It doesn't have that many tracks, cars or modes compared to the Gran Turismo series.

'''Conclusion'''
Best driving game on the 360. For now, at least - the only damn one on next-gen consoles.

'''Score : 8.5/10'''

(*) I love Forza and Gran Turismo equally - they're both fucking excellent games, peerless in their execution and playability.

''FatherJack''

==FreeLancer - PC==
Elite, but newer.

'''Score : 6/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Gothic III==
I think I'll be playing this for quite some time. Very nice and freeform. Think, "A very pretty Morrowind" and you are almost there. I'm sure there is a main quest here somewhere but the massive game world is kinda obscuring it, with it's distinct lack of loading screens and massive scope ofr adventure. This is not a bad thing though. Far from it. Supplies me with the total immersion into another world that I'm looking for.

''Yamon''

==Guitar Hero 2 - PS2==
Take to the stage yet again with the sequel to Red Octane's head banging moshtastic guitar shredder.

For those of you who have never played this or the original it's basically a variation on the Dance Dance Revolution/Dancing Stage Mega/Euro Mix type of game, where you have to match symbols appearing on the screen to button pushes.

The difference with this being that instead of some campy dance mat you use a scaled down model of a Gibson SG electric guitar.

The controller has 5 'fret' buttons and a bar to strum in time with the notes.

The original game featured an impressive number of classic and more modern rock classics from Black Sabbath, Megadeth and Pantera to more modern artists such as Franz Ferdinand, Queens of the Stoneage and Audioslave.

The sequel has an even larger repertoire of songs, although in my opinion the set list is a little weaker than the previous game but still features great songs such as Dick Dale's Miserlou, The Alman Brothers Band's Jessica (Top Gear theme tune) and the Foo Fighters' Monkey Wrench.

The controls in this game seem to work a lot better, especially things like hammer ons and pull offs (where you play one note and then just 'hammer on' the next note, without strumming again.

One thing that bugs me a little is that the rhythms don't always seem to match terribly well with the song, a problem that wasn't present in the original, or was certainly much less noticeable to me.

As a guitar player myself I have found both this and the original to be very fun and addictive, but I don't think it is really necessary to be a guitarist to get a lot out of this game, although it does help if you like the songs on it.

In short my opinion is divided on this game somewhat, although the controls are a lot more responsive this is somewhat spoiled by the fact that there are not many songs on here that I know or like.
I think if you are interested in this game it is best to check out the set list before you buy it, and maybe even download the soundtrack, in case, as was the case with me, there are songs on there that you recognise, even if you don't know them by name.

I will give this game 3.5 out of 5 even though the orignal would have got 4.5 or 5

'''Score : 3.5/5'''

''The Incredible...''

==Half Life 2 - PC==

An evolution, not a revolution, but still sets the benchmark for FPS

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Mr Green''

Half life 2.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==HL2 ep1 - PC==
Great addition to the HL world, well worth the £10.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Halo CE - PC==

Every FPS game ever+a bucket load of fanboys + awfull online community= Halo CE

'''Score : 3/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Hitman: Blood Money (review based on demo)==
Controls remappable, but have to be changed from in-game rather than the main menu (you can, but they're ignored), and reset on starting a new game. Why the hell do they make it so difficult? Was okay until I had to "distract the guards". No amount of coin-tossing lured them inside, and upon wandering outside found I was probably the only hitman ever to not actually carry a gun. Guards saw me, and told me I was "dead" but didn't actually shoot me. Carried on with them following me, but not doing anything. Crept up behind gangster and killed him with garotte, got gun. All goes a bit slow-mo. Guards finally decided to start shooting, blew them both away. All goes a bit red. Oh, seems I'm dead. What?

''Fatherjack''

ReviewsAD

2009-05-09T01:53:25Z

FatherJack: /* Bloodrayne 2 */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Game Reviews A to D=

==Age of Empires 3 - PC==
Vast armies of musket dudes and Indian exploitation. whin!

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Deject''

==Alien Breed series - Amiga==
Top down shooter from 1992 onwards, very good game series, although the series gets harder as it progresses, the last of the top down ones are nigh impossible. The two 3D ones are also good games.

''Buzzmong''

==Alpha Prime - PC==

Purchased via steam, it was budget price (under a tenner).

'''Pros:'''

It's fairly pretty, nothing special, but lots of shaded effects like Doom 3.
It killed a few hours.
Will run alright on older machines

'''Cons:'''

Poor story, AI, extremely tired and linear level design, difficulty curve, weapons are a bit...pointless outside of 1) machine gun 2) Shotgun for when you run out of machine gun ammo and 3) Pansy-arse sniper rifle.
Bit buggy in places (didn't crash however). The jeep is impossible to control.
The outside bits have less gravity as you're on a low atmosphere asterioid, however, falling damage doesn't take this into account which lead to more than one death.

'''Summary:'''

Money that could have been better spent on alcohol/food.
Also the demo is the most polished levels of the game.

'''Score : 3/10'''

''Buzzmong''

==Anarchy Online - PC==
Sci fi setting for an otherwise faily bog standard MMORPG.

'''Graphics'''
Make no mistake, this is old. If graphics are what floats your boat, avoid this like the plague. In fact, unless you can happily play retro games, avoid this.

'''Good Points'''
It's free. Well, the core game is. All the expansion packs (which I believe make the game somewhat better, but I've not tried them) are paid for, but the main game you can have for free.

'''Bad points'''
You get what you pay for.

''Joose''

==Armed Assault - PC==
'''Introduction'''
Despite being old, Operation Flashpoint is still good game. The open ended design, ability to play with all the toys, and the fully dev supported 3rd party mod community has kept this game alive for over 5 years, which is ancient history in game terms. Armed Assault is the what Bohemia Interactive Studios term an 'interim sequel'. Their vision is a fully dynamic battlefield environment in which the player takes a small part but as yet the technology to support this is still some way off. ArmA is an update to the award winning game incorporating some of the best bits developed from the XBox port and their commercial military training tool, VBS1.

'''Gameplay'''
ArmA is a first person platoon level tactical simulation. The semi-dynamic campaign is based on a fictional scenario in which you play the part of the USMC liberating a small island (small = 40km across - it'd take you a day realtime to walk it). Each main story mission is accompanied by a couple of optional missions that can impact on the main mission itself. For example, ambushing the enemy base may reduce the number of reinforcement they can call on but reduce the element of surprise. There are also a number of single player missions and an extremely powerful but remarkably easy to use mission design tool (the one used by the devs).
'''
Sights and Sounds'''
Although a vast improvement, the graphics are already looking a little dated compared to some of the cutting edge FPS's. That said, the island enviroment is a treat, complete with rolling hills, mountains, forests, wildlife, some very nicely done built up areas and dynamic weather patterns. Downside is if you ramp the settings up to full it chugs and actually looks worse than having things on medium - I think they've messed up the antialiasing a bit at highest levels (or my card ain't up to it). Sounds are disappointingly weak but there's already a 3rd party mod out that beef them up if it upsets you. It runs pretty well (30fps) with lots on screen and in built up areas.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
There's a dissapointing lack of attention to detail that really detracts from what could be a superlative title. The physics engine is unconvincing, which is an annoying oversight after the effort being plied into this area in other titles. The environment is not fully destructable and things that are blow uppable go boom or collapse in the same way every time (this was a major criticism in OFP which they've not addressed). Some of the missions are bugged, albeit due to the open ended dynamic scripting which means the AI can do interesting things, sometimes it just does the wrong thing. Once or twice I've had to restart a mission because the AI went off on one and I've had to use the -endmission cheat once to force the end of a mission that was borked. Also, some of the voice acting is terrible and the animations, though improved, still suck.

'''Conclusion'''
BIS are very loyal to their fan base (they even hired one of the best modders) and already they are talking about releasing the full suite of dev tools to the community. My copy of OFP is unrecognisable from the original and I can see ArmA going the same way, which will keep interest alive for years to come. They've added Join Game in Progress to MP now which will significantly boost COOP play, and the Team Switch function, although not exactly a respawn button, means that the game ain't over after the first shot when you forgot to lean round that corner, pop smoke and commando role up to that unoccupied T72, jump in the gunners seat and mow down the poor unsuspecting crew who were having a fag round a camp fire.

Final word: despite a few oversights, ArmA is everything that I hoped a sequel to OFP would be. Thank fuck for once a dev has taken what's good and improved it rather than breaking something to 'make it more appealing to the wider community'.

Linky to a good news/mod site: http://www.armedassault.info/

'''Score : 8.5/10'''

''Friznit''

==Auto Assault - PC==
Another brave attempt to break away from the MMO cliches, this is all set in a mad max style post apocalptic world, and pretty much all the action is from wheeled beasties of the road. Much more action orientated than your average MMO.

'''Graphics'''
Not bad on my poor system, and apparently quite shiny on higher end stuff.

'''Good points'''
Its quite fun belting it about in the desert in a suped up van firing rockets at people. Nearly all of the world is destructable, which is nice.

'''Bad points'''
It doesnt really work, somehow. Fun as it is initially, you soon get past the fact that "OMFG im in a CAR!" and realise that its basically just another generic MMO, doing the same old stuff. Also, the bits in the cities where you get out of your car are truly horrendous.

'''Score : 4/10'''

''Joose''

==Battlefield 2142==
'''Introduction'''
EA's latest game in the Battlefield series, it's set in the future, the world is freezing over, good guys fight bad guys.

'''Gameplay'''
Ok, now a lot of you guys that play BF2 are sceptical about this, suggesting that it's the same game as BF2 or that it's not as fun as BF2. These are all ill-informed lies, I'm afraid.

Firstly, although the game is on the BF engine, EA has made it so displaced from BF2 that everything feels fresh and new. This isn't the difference between WW2 and Vietnam (which was quite similar), this is the difference between modern combat and far far in the future, which opens up a whole range of gameplay dynamics that help make the game different.

The upgrades are one fun part of the game, it kind of feels like the feeling you get in an RPG when you're working towards a new level so you can get the skill you've been craving. And it doesn't even take that long to get promoted so you're first 4 promotions within 2 hours of play if you try.

the gameplay itself is similar to BF2, but there's plenty that you won't recognise and I can say conclusively from play BF2 last night that BF2142 is so much more pleasing.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Visually, the colours in BF2142 (a mix of blues, greys and whites) are psychologically more pleasing than BF2 (oranges, black, greys) and the graphics seem to be marginally better in 2142, I haven't actually noticed any anti-aliasing yet.

Sounds are great, exactly what you'd expect future warfare to sound like, just like warfare today, except more high pitched.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
There are some bugs but most of them are the same bugs as you'd find in BF2, and with only 1 patch so far, it's pretty fucking impressive.
'''
Conclusion'''
Great game, it will take over BF2 for sure, just as long as when you play it you don't actively seek the bad parts, you have to take an optimistic approach.

'''Score : 8.5/10'''

''Sandwich''

==Battlestations Midway - PC==
'''Introduction'''
Arcadey console-port WW2 game based in the Pacific theatre. One short storyline campaign and a bunch of single missions. The story is fairly engaging. You start out in command of a little torpedo boat as Pearl Harbour comes under attack, get more toys as the game unfolds and end up in command of a big carrier fleet at the Battle of Midway. They throw in a little bit of 'don't be too hard on the Nips, they've got families too' footage which is a nice touch.

'''Gameplay'''
Did I mention console port? Very simple game play, fairly slick interface and clearly designed for people with only 3 fingers. Everything works well with mouse and keyboard although flying is probably best done with a game-controller-pad thing. Downside is that as it gets more hectic you spend most of your time on the map screen directing the battle rather than actually playing with the toys and you end up missing some of the basic RTS controls (selection boxes etc). That said, you can jump into any of the toys whenever you want to have a play around.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Graphics aren't so much dated as functional, clearly designed for max framerate and to sit well on an XBox. Reflections and clouds are particularly nice, but I got pretty bored of the flat calms. The Pacific is never at a flat calm. Water splash on the 'camera' is a nice touch.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
Too arcadey, campaign is way too short, weather modelling is non-existant.

'''Conclusion'''
Mildly amusing for quick blast. It has a coop multiplayer mode which looks fun, but I've not been able to test yet.

'''Score : 5/10'''

''Friznit''

==Beats - PSP==
£/$5 (Playstation Store download only)
Requires Firmware 3.71+ (including Custom firmware)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beats_%28video_game%29

A bit like DDR, but with your own music. Also features music sharing and creation.

'''Pros:'''

Works with any music stored on your Memory Stick. Including I Love Horses and Raffi's Bananaphone.
Looks quite pretty. It goes a bit Geometry Wars in Overdrive mode.
When it works, it works very well.
Online multiplayer.

'''Cons:'''

You might have to expose people to your awful taste in music.
Square and Circle and pink and orange respectively. A bit difficult to tell apart.
Sometimes it just doesn't match anything that's happening in the song.

'''Summary:'''

I wasn't expecting much from this, but it's a little like Tetris in that you play for ten minutes and find that two hours have passed. Bargain.

'''Score : 7/10'''

''Stoat''

==Bloodrayne 2 (review based on demo)==
Hooray, remappable controls. Reversible vertical camera, although what the fuck was it doing the wrong way up to start with is anybody's guess. Few too many single-purpose buttons, as you can attack in three ways, as well as "lock on" using another button. Rather enjoying chopping up bad guys, eating them and throwing them around.
Then, they go and ruin it. Stupid platform jumpy bit like the one out of the first level of Psychonauts where you have to spin on spikes sticking out the the wall to get to the top. After falling right down the bottom a few times, gave up - exactly like I did Psychonauts.

''Fatherjack''

==Call of Juarez - PC/Xbox 360 (PC version reviewed here)==

'''Introduction'''
Call of Juarez is a FPS game set in the Wild West, complete with period weapons (like Colt Single Action Army revolvers). You play as two characters, Billy Candle and Reverend Ray. Billy is a kid whose parents are murdered and everyone thinks he killed them, including his step-uncle Reverend Ray, a former gunslinger who gave up fighting and took up preaching. Ray feels that the Lord is compelling him to chase Billy down and bring him to justice. Thus, you play both, as Billy, trying to escape from Ray who would certainly kill you, and as Ray, giving chase to whom you think responsible for killing your brother and his wife.

'''Gameplay'''
CoJ is a fairly straightforward FPS game, you shoot bad guys in the face but to give CoJ an edge, Techland endowed both Billy and Ray with special abilities. Billy, as a kid who has lived running and avoiding trouble can hide in bushes from people, and when using a bow & arrow gets a slo-mo ability. Thus, when you get the bow, it's generally your best weapon as headshots are fatal, and you get to see your kill in slow motion, which is very satisfying. Reverend Ray on the other hand, as a former gunslinger, has a quick draw ability. As he draws his guns, he also gets slo-mo, but he gets dual crosshairs that move together, allowing Ray to shoot at multiple targets in a split second. Both Billy and Ray have some rather gratifying action sequences, though Billy's sections are generally more sneak and run oriented. Also, both get to ride horses around, which takes a bit to get used to but is OK enough.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
The graphics in Call of Juarez are in general pretty good. It has some pretty good lighting, thanks to the HDR and Depth of Field effects (the DoF is similar to what you see in Call of Duty 4, it adds a nice touch, focusing in on something blurs out everything else). It was one of the first DirectX 10 games, but as I am still on XP, I was stuck with DirectX 9. There are some rather ugly textures in the game, which glare at you in their blurry awfulness. Also, there is some obvious pop-in with foliage, owing to the not-good-enough draw distance.

The audio is really solid. The various handguns sound about like they should while the rifles and shotguns had a satisfying report, sounding powerful and deadly. When entering slo-mo, the game sounds like you're slowing down a record. You get a kind of scratchy slow down and speed up effect, giving you helpful audio hints that you're entering and leaving the slo-mo. The voice acting is generally solid. Billy sometimes sounds like a pussy, but Ray is excellent, spouting scripture as he shoots down bandits left and right.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
Stealth. I've usually found stealth games to be rather clunky (I'm looking at you, Thief). With the exceptions of No One Lives Forever and Deus Ex, trying to sneak around just bores me to tears. call of Juarez's stealth segments tend to be frustrating. Having to progress past some old fogey to steal some bullets is just annoying. I really could have done without them. Also the part where Billy has to climb a mountain was fucking dumb, as climbing takes forever. Oh well, at least he can grab on to ledges and pull himself up, unlike pretty much every other video game ever.

My last beef is with the facial animations. Most characters' faces are set in stone, at most moving their eyes when they talk. I know Half-Life 2 has spoiled me, but not getting any body language from anyone in the game is disappointing.

'''Conclusion'''
Overall, Call of Juarez is a solid FPS game that adds in something unique, but doesn't try anything radical. The story is pretty good and the action is pretty fun. If you want some cowboy shooter action, this game is for you. Yeah it's got flaws but it also has a lot of good points too, and I think it's worth checking out.

'''Score : 7.5/10'''

''Deject''

==City of Heroes/Villains==
Is is two games, or one game, or what? Good question, and im not entirely sure. The mechanics of the two are basically the same, they interact with each other, they are launched from the same shortcut, and if you have both you still only pay one monthly fee. However, they can be got seperately, so you can have either/or. Also, the *feel* of the two games is very different, despite the fact they are basically the same. So I dunno.

However, in a basic summary of both: Its an MMO based around comic books, such as the X-Men and Batman and the like. CoH deals with the good guys, and tends to be a little more camp, wheras CoV you play as a bad guy, and its a little more gothic. Both never really take themselves too seriously, though. The options for making your character (even though most of them are purely cosmetic) are stupidly many, enabling you to make pretty much any theme of character you can think of (although copying Marvel characters is a big no-no, due to a bad case of Lawyers).

'''Graphics'''
Looks ok, if a little dated, on my rig. Faster machines can make it look very shiney indeed, with depth of field and all sorts. Stylistically, the CoH levels are mostly rather bright and cheery, whereas pretty much all of CoV is grungy and run down. All looks smashing though, design wise.

'''Good stuff'''
Character creation. Its almost a game unto its self, and as a result, ive got more characters in the CoX games than in all the other MMO's i have ever played put together. Its a lot of silly fun. Theres no need for planning, or schemes that last longer than an hour or so. Jumping/flying about/running at 200mph are rediculously good fun (I have yet to see anyone get Flying for the first time and *not* spend the next 30mins just swooping about the place). Theres a lot of space for pissing about in the game, so its more social (when you have a group of friends) than most other MMO's.

'''Bad Stuff'''
The temptation to just make a squillion alt's does make it hard to reach high level stuff. The other effect of this is you tend to do the same missions over and over, which can be irritating. Finally, one of the aformentioned strong points is also its weak point: it's not very deep. Yes, you can dip in for some casual gaming, or you can spend hours on end flying about the place lycra clad, but it doesnt have involved, complicated tasks to complete like EVE does. I know, I'm comparing everything to EVE.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Joose''

Badgers, alcohol, 7.

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Command & Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars - PC/Xbox 360==
They actually made a real C&C game, and it looks pretty nice too. Also, KANE!!!!!!!!

''Deject''

==Crysis==

Haven't bothered with MP, as I had my fill of that with the beta. SP is rather reminiscent of Halo, but like Far Cry is nowhere near as easy.

As you survive a fall in almost exactly the same way as Master Chef in H2/3, you start in the water and your Far Cry memories come flooding back: because you're still on that fecking island.

Perhaps things are easier if you use your suit powers more - like in the intro movie where you shoot out the tyre of a jeep which rolls, you duck under it then throw it at your enemies.

Some hope of actually doing that in the game, when I wasn't constantly running out of ammo, or being told to "use grenades to take out the checkpoint" when the game had given me three grenades, total up to that point, and had instructed me to use them at the previous checkpoint, I was emptying round after round into bastard enemies that just wouldn't die.

Okay headshots were usually fatal, but the guns so innacurate that you were close enough to punch them before you could reliably get one.

Stealth last approximately long enough for you to get somewhere where you are completely surrounded by enemies, and changing suit modes uses a HUD rose, which is far more clumsy than just pressing a button.

Cars are as controllable as supermarket trolleys and usually explode if you chip the paintwork. Buildings tended to fall down in installments, usually on you.

The jungle is well drawn, and you certainly get to see it up close as you scrabble around after killing every enemy trying to find some ammo hidden in the fronds.

''FatherJack''

==Daxter - PSP==

Without a doubt the best platform title to date on the PSP hands down.
Almost every review you read will tell you the same, and with good reason, as the graphics are awesome, the controls are perfect, and the lack of any load times whatsoever in-game, and the large world you explore between levels makes for a highly enjoyable title.
I was a fan of the original Jax & Daxter on the PS2, however the sequels to these were far too "open" and involved too much going backwarda and forwards between levels, but in Daxter they have got this just right.
It is a little easy to complete, but the replay value is still there due to the great bonus games, and hidden items to find within each of the levels.

'''Score : 9/10''' (One of the best platformer games I have played in several years hence the high score)

''Woo Elephant Yeah''

==Dark Messiah of Might & Magic - PC==
HL2 with swords. Combat can be a bit hit and miss because it's HL2 with swords. Very linear gameplay. Not that impressed personally.

''Yamon''

==Deus Ex - PC==
Similar to System Shock 2, more modern, fantastically fantastic game.

''Buzzmong''

==Doom RPG - Mobile==
A mobile game that's actually worth playing and properly designed to work well with your mobile's keypad, taking a dump need never be boring again.

''Spoodie''

==Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2 - Wii==
Made the mistake of selecting medium skill level, which actually means "bastard hard". Ludicrously long tutorial to explain that you basically mash the buttons and wave the controller about like a spazzer until you luck out and pull off a combo. Seriously, I just couldn't do some of the moves in the tutorial. Please note, I don't have irreconcilable differences with this one, just need to revisit with a calmer head and lower skill level, but my hair's still blonde and standing on end right now.

''FatherJack''

==Dreamfall: The Longest Journey - PC (reviewed), XBox==
'''Introduction'''
Dreamfall is the sequel to the 1999 game The Longest Journey, considered to be one of the best adventure games ever made. TLJ introduced the story of April Ryan and the Twin Worlds of Stark (basically a near furture Earth) and Arcadia a world of magic. In TLJ the "Balance" that kept the two worlds separated was coming apart, and through her (for lack of a better word) adventure, April succeeded in keeping the Balance from unraveling. Fast forward 10 years. The world has changed a lot since the end of The Longest Journey. The Wire connects all electronic devices and the world is watched over by the megacorporation The Syndicate and its paramilitary EYE. Zoë Castillo is a 20 year old living with her father in Casablanca. Her life has become aimless. She's dropped out of university, and she's become bored and complacent. Then one day she starts receiving bizarre messages on video screens around her...

'''Gameplay'''
Dreamfall is a graphical adventure, unlike the point and clicks most people associate with adventure games. You control your character much like you do in Grim Fandango or the Knights of the Old Republic series. You move your character around their environment and interact with people and objects. Of course, since it isn't an action-oriented RPG, the whole game feels more relaxed. Most of the game is spent exploring your surroundings and following the fairly linear path to the next event. The puzzles in the game are generally easy, and will be extremely easy for most adventure game aficionados (such as people who somehow managed for beat Myst). However, in my opinion, this makes the game easier for everyone to get into. The biggest problem with adventure games is that the puzzles are way too difficult and frustrating. Most of the time, there's no real way to figure out what the hell you're really supposed to be doing or how to overcome an obstacle. Dreamfall is different because of its linear paths and the comparatively simple puzzles. The end effect for most people will be a game that won't frustrate the hell of you. I played maybe 30 minutes of Myst before quitting in order to avoid smashing my computer and cursing its makers in frustration. Even Grim Fandango required me to rely pretty heavily on walkthroughs to figure out how to finish. However, Dreamfall was made so that most people can play beginning to end without needing any kind of guide. I find this to be a much more satisfying approach. On the flip side, hardcore adventure gamers will be left feeling bored and insipid. There is also a combat system added in, which is probably one of the biggest weaknesses of the game.

If you're playing Dreamfall on the PC, one thing you will want to get is a dual analog gamepad to really enjoy this game. The keyboard and mouse setup just feels clunky. Once you plug in your gamepad though, the controls feel much better. It's evident that the game was probably designed for gamepads.

Dreamfall is a game all about the story. Everything serves to further the plot. You'll spend a lot of time listening to conversations, even up to a few minutes at a time without interaction. If you hate listening to people talk and don't care about the story, do not play this game. You'll only be wasting your money. If you do enjoy a good story, and have the patience to sit through hours of (very well voiced) dialog, then you should definitely play Dreamfall.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Graphically Dreamfall is a mixed bag, mostly great. Technically, the game is pretty competent. It takes advantage of a lot of effects that are consistent with its development, such as bloom (not full HDR) and excellent particle effects. The main drag is the many low-resolution textures that are all over the game. Particularly, some people's faces can be downright ugly as shit because of the texturing. Artistically, Dreamfall is a feast. The design of the game is simply beautiful. The different environments you travel through include some of the most strikingly beautiful expanses you've ever seen in a game. Both Stark and Arcadia feel like real places.

The audio is probably one of the best parts of the game. First, the voice acting is easily one of the best in a game I've ever heard. It's every bit as good as a large-budget animated film from Pixar, and easily on-par with or better than the superb voice acting in Half-Life 2. Everyone sounds very convincing, and if it weren't for the nasty textures on a lot of people's faces you could get sucked into the world very easily. Even the bystanders who are just standing around sound convincing. Even though there are subtitles in the game, turning them on takes away from the excellent voice acting, and should be left off. The sounds of the cities in Dreamfall are also excellent. Merchants hawk their wares and the background noise fits perfectly. The soundtrack is beautifully composed and suits the game extremely well.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
To be blunt, the combat system is one of the worst I have had to use. it's simple enough, with just light and heavy attacks, as well as a block, but the problem is that it is too cumbersome and unresponsive. You'll curse your character as they do not block when you tell them to, resulting in a lot of damage that you wouldn't take if the combat was more responsive and twitch based. Still, even the combat isn't too hard. In fact, for me the hardest combat was the initial training you get at the start of the game at the gym. The rest of the time your enemies will be giant pushovers, negating a lot of the frustration from the clunky fighting controls. Also, you only have a health meter for each combat encounter. Once you defeat a(n) opponent/group of opponents, your health bar disappears until the next time, were it's full again.

The other drawbacks I've already mentioned: the ugly textures, and for some the long dialogs.

'''Conclusion'''
Dreamfall is one of the best stories in gaming. If you're like me, drawn into an amazing story, You'll be compelled to keep on playing the game to unveil the next part of the story. If you don't mind the long bits of uninterrupted conversation and can bear through the horrid combat, you'll be awed by this masterful story. The characters are easy to connect with, the environments are beautiful, and you won't gouge your eyes out trying to figure out WTF the makers were thinking with a particular puzzle. If you hate dialog or you're a hardcore adventure games (i.e.: Myst fan), you should probably stay away. Everyone else should at least play the demo to see if the story is worth playing. As for me, I feel that Dreamfall is a flawed game, but its flaws insignificant compared to all that is good about it.

'''Score : 8/10'''

Side notes: The game is available on Steam ($29.95), and the Xbox version is compatible with the Xbox360. Also, this is one of the few 100% bug free games I've ever played. There are no patches for the game, and everything works the way it should. No item bugs, no missed conversations, everything just works. I haven't played a game in years that didn't require a patch, and I was pleasantly shocked when I couldn't find any for Dreamfall. I wish more games were like this.

''Deject''

==Dungeon Siege - PC==
Like Diablo, but with a party. Fast, vapid, and addicting.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Deject''

==Dungeon Siege 2 - PC==
Like Dungeon Siege, but prettier and POWERS!!!

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Deject''

==Dungeons & Dragons Online - PC==
A reasonable attempt to turn the old pen and paper game into an RPG. Set in the new campain setting of Eberron, this adherance to the p&p game means things work in a very different way. Most of the classes just cant do solo adventuring, because D&D doesnt work like that. Thieves are for picking locks and disarming traps, fighters are for hitting things. If you are a solo thief, you cant kill things, and if you are a solo fighter, you cant get past locked doors. Also, XP is worked out for quest objectives that you achieve, rather than just who you kill.

'''Graphics'''
I'm getting kinda bored of saying this, but It's destinctly so so. Better than crap, but not so amazing you will cry.

'''Good stuff'''
If you are a D&D geek (like me) and have a group of similarly minded friends, I can imagine this being a lot of fun. It basically *is* the p&p game with a 3D interface. Also, a lot of the things it does to break away from the standard MMO model work really well...

'''Bad stuff'''
...but a few dont. Like the need to be in a group. Its great if you have friends who play the game, but if you dont it's a nightmare. You can't solo and by and large, the "grouping with randoms" gives baaad experiences. Plus, the community on the whole are elitist bastards, so if you are not already a D&D fan, they will shun you, hard.

''Joose''

ReviewsEH

2009-05-09T01:52:26Z

FatherJack: /* Hitman: Blood Money */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews E to H=

==ElderScrolls 4: Oblivion - PC==

Addictive, but rubbish leveling and combat compared to Morrowind, best graphics evar!

'''Score : 6.5/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Empire Earth II - The Art of Supremacy Expansion - PC==
More of the same, take spear-wielding hunter-gatherers and take them through the ages, via cannons, planes, nuclear bombs and stompy robots. Adds the Russians, Massai, Zulus and er..the French.

''FatherJack''

==Empire Earth III==

Rather disappointing, the previous game is actually better and more fun to play even now. There are less 'ages' and the only real addition is a campaign mode where you capture regions on a rotatable globe. The "story" just seems to give up after a few rounds, and too many objectives are bugged to impossibility or very near it, meaning you need units in place before timers start.

''FatherJack''

==Everquest 2 - PC==
As standard a RPG fare as you can get really. The sequal to one of the grandaddies of MMO's, and to be honest, it's basically the same game with a shiny makeover.

'''Graphics'''
Technically very good. They shine in the right places, everything looks sufficiently bumpy and realistic (in stark contrast to World of Warcraft). However, its all a bit paint-by-numbers, and lacks soul. Its kinda wierd to describe, as all the component parts are there, and very nice, but the whole looks fucking horrible.

'''Good bits'''
To be honest, I have no clue. I played a week long trial, and at not one moment did I see anything that isn't done just as well, if not better by other games.

'''Bad bits'''
Its very generic, the graphics are both horrible to look at and hard on your system, it's just not very interesting. Having said that, they are the only major complaints about it too. Its just too...bland.

'''Score : 5/10'''

''Joose''

==Eve Online - PC==
Most of you know it, but for those that dont, think updated ELITE, but MMOised. For those shocking few who might not know what elite is: Trading/mining/flying about shooting things in space. Also some other stuff, like researching and manufacture. All based around corporations and buisness, set in a very Iain M Banks style fairly believable future-world.

'''Graphics'''
Shiney, but can be scaled down to run on practically anything. Updated graphics soon promise to make it even shinier.

'''Good things'''
Sense of community, sense of achievement when you get stuff (as its harder than most MMO's to get things, and easier to lose them), flexibility with characters, reasonably good dev support, very different "feel" to other MMO's, will last you a long time (if you like it). Skills carry on training when you are not logged in. Really, really complex.

'''Bad things'''
Sucks time from you like a big temporal hoover. You cant really play this casually and get enough from it. Can be crushingly bad when you lose something thats taken you months to achieve because some wanker of a space-pirate. Really, really complex.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Joose''

==Fable : The Lost Chapters - PC==
Fun console port to PC. Just fun to play. Let me say fun again as it is just that. A real no brainer, linear, humorous, fun time waster. Did I mention that it's fun?

''Yamon''

==FarCry - PC==
Good FPS, Probably one of the best ever made.

'''Score : 8/10 '''

''Dr. Kitteny berk''

==Far Cry: Vengeance - Wii==
Takes a bit of getting used to the controls, which work okay with practice, although some simple actions are needlessly complex. Graphically poor, especially given PC Far Cry's quality. Grainy, jerky movies, a very obvious cone of light around you and horrible HDR. Not online capable, and two players need a mote and chuk each.

''Fatherjack''

==Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - ==GameCube==
Only stylistically like the classic FF series. A clumsy real-time combat system spoils a pretty-looking game.

''FatherJack''

==Forza Motorsport - Xbox==
Gran Turismo for the xbox, but better.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Forza Motorsport 2 - XBox 360==

'''Introduction'''
The eagerly-anticipated "next-gen" sequel to the definitive XBox driving game, perhaps the* definitive console driving game.

'''Gameplay'''
Nice. After a brief period of re-introduction it's clear the old game is still there. Instant gratification with decent cars from the get-go are the hallmark of the series, and that's still the case. Just buy a car, race it a bit, upgrade it, pwn. The original (at least in SP) was never about being the most perfect driver ever, or passing a million license tests, just (sort of) getting the job done.
Only gameplay difference I've noticed is in the "hired driver" aspect - rather than train or coach your stand-in, you simply select a CPU driver of a certain level, who then takes a de-facto cut, from 55-100% of your winnings.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Well, I thought it looked pretty nice at first, and actually it still does show pretty much what you need to see - but it could do a bit more. Cars are quite ridiculously shiny, but the draw distance doesn't always keep up. Don't get me wrong, it pisses all over anything previously - but it's not perfect. Other games have demonstrated that there can be a lot more "going on" on the screen, but I think the clean interface serves this game well.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
Umm, it is a bit easy. Okay I know I'm like the supar-leetest drivar evar, but this pushes it a bit. You will always win a computer-controlled race if you have the best PI on the grid, but it's also a piece of piss to win manually with the worst car. MP will put you firmly in your place, but it is a bit of a munchkin-fest getting the unlocks.
It doesn't have that many tracks, cars or modes compared to the Gran Turismo series.

'''Conclusion'''
Best driving game on the 360. For now, at least - the only damn one on next-gen consoles.

'''Score : 8.5/10'''

(*) I love Forza and Gran Turismo equally - they're both fucking excellent games, peerless in their execution and playability.

''FatherJack''

==FreeLancer - PC==
Elite, but newer.

'''Score : 6/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Gothic III==
I think I'll be playing this for quite some time. Very nice and freeform. Think, "A very pretty Morrowind" and you are almost there. I'm sure there is a main quest here somewhere but the massive game world is kinda obscuring it, with it's distinct lack of loading screens and massive scope ofr adventure. This is not a bad thing though. Far from it. Supplies me with the total immersion into another world that I'm looking for.

''Yamon''

==Guitar Hero 2 - PS2==
Take to the stage yet again with the sequel to Red Octane's head banging moshtastic guitar shredder.

For those of you who have never played this or the original it's basically a variation on the Dance Dance Revolution/Dancing Stage Mega/Euro Mix type of game, where you have to match symbols appearing on the screen to button pushes.

The difference with this being that instead of some campy dance mat you use a scaled down model of a Gibson SG electric guitar.

The controller has 5 'fret' buttons and a bar to strum in time with the notes.

The original game featured an impressive number of classic and more modern rock classics from Black Sabbath, Megadeth and Pantera to more modern artists such as Franz Ferdinand, Queens of the Stoneage and Audioslave.

The sequel has an even larger repertoire of songs, although in my opinion the set list is a little weaker than the previous game but still features great songs such as Dick Dale's Miserlou, The Alman Brothers Band's Jessica (Top Gear theme tune) and the Foo Fighters' Monkey Wrench.

The controls in this game seem to work a lot better, especially things like hammer ons and pull offs (where you play one note and then just 'hammer on' the next note, without strumming again.

One thing that bugs me a little is that the rhythms don't always seem to match terribly well with the song, a problem that wasn't present in the original, or was certainly much less noticeable to me.

As a guitar player myself I have found both this and the original to be very fun and addictive, but I don't think it is really necessary to be a guitarist to get a lot out of this game, although it does help if you like the songs on it.

In short my opinion is divided on this game somewhat, although the controls are a lot more responsive this is somewhat spoiled by the fact that there are not many songs on here that I know or like.
I think if you are interested in this game it is best to check out the set list before you buy it, and maybe even download the soundtrack, in case, as was the case with me, there are songs on there that you recognise, even if you don't know them by name.

I will give this game 3.5 out of 5 even though the orignal would have got 4.5 or 5

'''Score : 3.5/5'''

''The Incredible...''

==Half Life 2 - PC==

An evolution, not a revolution, but still sets the benchmark for FPS

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Mr Green''

Half life 2.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==HL2 ep1 - PC==
Great addition to the HL world, well worth the £10.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Halo CE - PC==

Every FPS game ever+a bucket load of fanboys + awfull online community= Halo CE

'''Score : 3/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Hitman: Blood Money (review based on demo)==
Controls remappable, but have to be changed from in-game rather than the main menu (you can, but they're ignored), and reset on starting a new game. Why the hell do they make it so difficult? Was okay until I had to "distract the guards". No amount of coin-tossing lured them inside, and upon wandering outside found I was probably the only hitman ever to not actually carry a gun. Guards saw me, and told me I was "dead" but didn't actually shoot me. Carried on with them following me, but not doing anything. Crept up behind gangster and killed him with garotte, got gun. All goes a bit slow-mo. Guards finally decided to start shooting, blew them both away. All goes a bit red. Oh, seems I'm dead. What?

''Fatherjack''

ReviewsEH

2009-05-09T01:49:33Z

FatherJack: /* Forza Motorsport 2 - XBox 360 */

[[category:Reviews]]

=Reviews E to H=

==ElderScrolls 4: Oblivion - PC==

Addictive, but rubbish leveling and combat compared to Morrowind, best graphics evar!

'''Score : 6.5/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Empire Earth II - The Art of Supremacy Expansion - PC==
More of the same, take spear-wielding hunter-gatherers and take them through the ages, via cannons, planes, nuclear bombs and stompy robots. Adds the Russians, Massai, Zulus and er..the French.

''FatherJack''

==Empire Earth III==

Rather disappointing, the previous game is actually better and more fun to play even now. There are less 'ages' and the only real addition is a campaign mode where you capture regions on a rotatable globe. The "story" just seems to give up after a few rounds, and too many objectives are bugged to impossibility or very near it, meaning you need units in place before timers start.

''FatherJack''

==Everquest 2 - PC==
As standard a RPG fare as you can get really. The sequal to one of the grandaddies of MMO's, and to be honest, it's basically the same game with a shiny makeover.

'''Graphics'''
Technically very good. They shine in the right places, everything looks sufficiently bumpy and realistic (in stark contrast to World of Warcraft). However, its all a bit paint-by-numbers, and lacks soul. Its kinda wierd to describe, as all the component parts are there, and very nice, but the whole looks fucking horrible.

'''Good bits'''
To be honest, I have no clue. I played a week long trial, and at not one moment did I see anything that isn't done just as well, if not better by other games.

'''Bad bits'''
Its very generic, the graphics are both horrible to look at and hard on your system, it's just not very interesting. Having said that, they are the only major complaints about it too. Its just too...bland.

'''Score : 5/10'''

''Joose''

==Eve Online - PC==
Most of you know it, but for those that dont, think updated ELITE, but MMOised. For those shocking few who might not know what elite is: Trading/mining/flying about shooting things in space. Also some other stuff, like researching and manufacture. All based around corporations and buisness, set in a very Iain M Banks style fairly believable future-world.

'''Graphics'''
Shiney, but can be scaled down to run on practically anything. Updated graphics soon promise to make it even shinier.

'''Good things'''
Sense of community, sense of achievement when you get stuff (as its harder than most MMO's to get things, and easier to lose them), flexibility with characters, reasonably good dev support, very different "feel" to other MMO's, will last you a long time (if you like it). Skills carry on training when you are not logged in. Really, really complex.

'''Bad things'''
Sucks time from you like a big temporal hoover. You cant really play this casually and get enough from it. Can be crushingly bad when you lose something thats taken you months to achieve because some wanker of a space-pirate. Really, really complex.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Joose''

==Fable : The Lost Chapters - PC==
Fun console port to PC. Just fun to play. Let me say fun again as it is just that. A real no brainer, linear, humorous, fun time waster. Did I mention that it's fun?

''Yamon''

==FarCry - PC==
Good FPS, Probably one of the best ever made.

'''Score : 8/10 '''

''Dr. Kitteny berk''

==Far Cry: Vengeance - Wii==
Takes a bit of getting used to the controls, which work okay with practice, although some simple actions are needlessly complex. Graphically poor, especially given PC Far Cry's quality. Grainy, jerky movies, a very obvious cone of light around you and horrible HDR. Not online capable, and two players need a mote and chuk each.

''Fatherjack''

==Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - ==GameCube==
Only stylistically like the classic FF series. A clumsy real-time combat system spoils a pretty-looking game.

''FatherJack''

==Forza Motorsport - Xbox==
Gran Turismo for the xbox, but better.

'''Score : 8/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Forza Motorsport 2 - XBox 360==

'''Introduction'''
The eagerly-anticipated "next-gen" sequel to the definitive XBox driving game, perhaps the* definitive console driving game.

'''Gameplay'''
Nice. After a brief period of re-introduction it's clear the old game is still there. Instant gratification with decent cars from the get-go are the hallmark of the series, and that's still the case. Just buy a car, race it a bit, upgrade it, pwn. The original (at least in SP) was never about being the most perfect driver ever, or passing a million license tests, just (sort of) getting the job done.
Only gameplay difference I've noticed is in the "hired driver" aspect - rather than train or coach your stand-in, you simply select a CPU driver of a certain level, who then takes a de-facto cut, from 55-100% of your winnings.

'''Sights and Sounds'''
Well, I thought it looked pretty nice at first, and actually it still does show pretty much what you need to see - but it could do a bit more. Cars are quite ridiculously shiny, but the draw distance doesn't always keep up. Don't get me wrong, it pisses all over anything previously - but it's not perfect. Other games have demonstrated that there can be a lot more "going on" on the screen, but I think the clean interface serves this game well.

'''Stuff that sucks'''
Umm, it is a bit easy. Okay I know I'm like the supar-leetest drivar evar, but this pushes it a bit. You will always win a computer-controlled race if you have the best PI on the grid, but it's also a piece of piss to win manually with the worst car. MP will put you firmly in your place, but it is a bit of a munchkin-fest getting the unlocks.
It doesn't have that many tracks, cars or modes compared to the Gran Turismo series.

'''Conclusion'''
Best driving game on the 360. For now, at least - the only damn one on next-gen consoles.

'''Score : 8.5/10'''

(*) I love Forza and Gran Turismo equally - they're both fucking excellent games, peerless in their execution and playability.

''FatherJack''

==FreeLancer - PC==
Elite, but newer.

'''Score : 6/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Gothic III==
I think I'll be playing this for quite some time. Very nice and freeform. Think, "A very pretty Morrowind" and you are almost there. I'm sure there is a main quest here somewhere but the massive game world is kinda obscuring it, with it's distinct lack of loading screens and massive scope ofr adventure. This is not a bad thing though. Far from it. Supplies me with the total immersion into another world that I'm looking for.

''Yamon''

==Guitar Hero 2 - PS2==
Take to the stage yet again with the sequel to Red Octane's head banging moshtastic guitar shredder.

For those of you who have never played this or the original it's basically a variation on the Dance Dance Revolution/Dancing Stage Mega/Euro Mix type of game, where you have to match symbols appearing on the screen to button pushes.

The difference with this being that instead of some campy dance mat you use a scaled down model of a Gibson SG electric guitar.

The controller has 5 'fret' buttons and a bar to strum in time with the notes.

The original game featured an impressive number of classic and more modern rock classics from Black Sabbath, Megadeth and Pantera to more modern artists such as Franz Ferdinand, Queens of the Stoneage and Audioslave.

The sequel has an even larger repertoire of songs, although in my opinion the set list is a little weaker than the previous game but still features great songs such as Dick Dale's Miserlou, The Alman Brothers Band's Jessica (Top Gear theme tune) and the Foo Fighters' Monkey Wrench.

The controls in this game seem to work a lot better, especially things like hammer ons and pull offs (where you play one note and then just 'hammer on' the next note, without strumming again.

One thing that bugs me a little is that the rhythms don't always seem to match terribly well with the song, a problem that wasn't present in the original, or was certainly much less noticeable to me.

As a guitar player myself I have found both this and the original to be very fun and addictive, but I don't think it is really necessary to be a guitarist to get a lot out of this game, although it does help if you like the songs on it.

In short my opinion is divided on this game somewhat, although the controls are a lot more responsive this is somewhat spoiled by the fact that there are not many songs on here that I know or like.
I think if you are interested in this game it is best to check out the set list before you buy it, and maybe even download the soundtrack, in case, as was the case with me, there are songs on there that you recognise, even if you don't know them by name.

I will give this game 3.5 out of 5 even though the orignal would have got 4.5 or 5

'''Score : 3.5/5'''

''The Incredible...''

==Half Life 2 - PC==

An evolution, not a revolution, but still sets the benchmark for FPS

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Mr Green''

Half life 2.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==HL2 ep1 - PC==
Great addition to the HL world, well worth the £10.

'''Score : 9/10'''

''Dr. Kitteny Berk''

==Halo CE - PC==

Every FPS game ever+a bucket load of fanboys + awfull online community= Halo CE

'''Score : 3/10'''

''Mr Green''

==Hitman: Blood Money==
Controls remappable, but have to be changed from in-game rather than the main menu (you can, but they're ignored), and reset on starting a new game. Why the hell do they make it so difficult? Was okay until I had to "distract the guards". No amount of coin-tossing lured them inside, and upon wandering outside found I was probably the only hitman ever to not actually carry a gun. Guards saw me, and told me I was "dead" but didn't actually shoot me. Carried on with them following me, but not doing anything. Crept up behind gangster and killed him with garotte, got gun. All goes a bit slow-mo. Guards finally decided to start shooting, blew them both away. All goes a bit red. Oh, seems I'm dead. What?

''Fatherjack''

Service Firms

2009-05-09T01:26:01Z

FatherJack: /* Technical Services */

=Service Firms=
Service firms are the departments who keep Alpha Complex running, contracted out as private firms. In reality they act much like government departments, but are fragmented into hundreds of identical companies. Just to make the bureaucracy even more fun.

==Armed Forces==
Armed Forces protect Alpha Complex against external invasion by Commie mutant traitors. They also supplement Internal Security against internal threats. Tough, well-trained, well-equipped members of elite units like the vaunted Vulture Squadrons frequently serve as bodyguards and handle high-priority missions within Alpha Complex.

==Central Processing Unit (CPU)==
CPU is the central supervisory and administrative authority of Alpha Complex. An entrenched bureaucracy handles records, regulations, human resource engineering, justice, and executive operations. Certain CPU agents assigned directly by The Computer to projects of special interest enjoy unparalleled autonomy and discretionary powers.

==Housing Preservation and Development & Mind Control (HPD&MC)==
HPD&MC is responsible for primary clone services - housekeeping, creche management, education, entertainment, recreation, and retirement management. This is the largest, the least prestigious, and the least politically reliable service group. But as dispensers of propaganda, HPD&MC can sway the emotions of the masses, making it in some ways the most powerful.

==Internal Security (IntSec)==
IntSec is responsible for weeding out traitors and Commies and maintaining order. It combines the functions of law officers, secret police, and monitors of political orthodoxy. IntSec is cordially hated and feared by citizens in all other services. Its agents are everywhere.

==Production, Logistics & Commissary (PLC)==
PLC is responsible for agricultural and industrial production and allocation of resources. It prepares food and stores and distributes all consumer goods. PLC is only marginally more prestigious than HPD&MC.

==Power Services==
Power maintains the power plants and the primary habitat engineering systems of Alpha Complex - traffic, air, water, and waste. Disputes with Technical Services fuel a bitter rivalry between the two groups.

==Research and Design (R&D)==
R&D develops new technology and equipment for use by The Computer and citizens of Alpha Complex. R&D's bold advances are better known for their imaginative conception than their reliability. The Computer is unrestrained in its enthusiastic report for R&D's visionary projects.

==Technical Services==
Tech maintains robots, vehicles, communications hardware, industrial and production systems, and various electronic and mechanical service systems. In practice, Tech Services' and Power Services' responsibilities overlap. Vicious bureaucratic rivalry and infighting develops over which group is best suited to serve The Computer in disputed jurisdictions.