5punk Wiki - User contributions [en]

Request Help

2008-08-14T22:03:46Z

Cheeseandham:

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "blue screen problem", "suspected virus" or "PC will not switch on"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you don't do this this, you may waste time waiting for advice that you've already thought of and done.
* If it's a purchasing question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given, please write them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's. Screenshots are also acceptable [http://www.runpcrun.com/printscreen (how to make screenshots)]

= IMPORTANT!! Be prepared!!! =

Make a "Break open in case of emergency pack"!

== System data ==

'''If you keep your system backed up like below, you can protect yourself against having to reinstall or fix ANY software problems.'''
* Use Acronis TrueImage(easy but commercial) or [http://www.runtime.org/dixml.htm DriveImageXML] (free) and keep a backup of your C drive to an external drive! (This step alone will save you huge amounts of grief).
** Keep it updated at least once a month for best results.
** If using Acronis then create a bootable CD, if using DriveImageXML then get yourself the relevant BartPE plugin. (See below)
* If you have a recent image of your C drive (and your personal data safe) you can simply re-image your machine back to how it was (and then NTBackup to restore your profile for uber-perfect restore) and solve any problem that you have!

== Personal data ==
* Keep personal data (you can remap My Documents easily) on a separate partition or drive if possible.
* (you can skip this step if you want) - You can use NTBackup (Built in XP Pro and above, an MS download for XP Home) and make a scheduled backup (daily preferable!) of your C:\Documents and Settings\MyName directory (C:\Users on Vista) to keep a backup of your profile (and any data on your Desktop etc). This will keep your documents and settings safe But please, for the love of all is holy make sure you have a backup of your PERSONAL data.
* [http://mozy.com/ Mozy] - pay £2.50 a month a backup all your personal data automatically online, no fuss.

== Other useful disks ==
* Make yourself a recent version of [http://www.nu2.nu/pebuilder/ BartPE] (it is possible to get a pre-made one via torrents but the legality is dubious) Winternals ERD is what the professionals use but is very expensive and so not something I can suggest here. [[Image:broom.gif]]
** But is good as it does a lot of things. If you had both you'd almost ready for anything! Note: Both of these disks can be very useful in diagnosing suspected hardware errors. As these are "Windows on a CD" and are premade, they are free from corruption. errors and driver issues. If you get problems when in this environment then it's a reasonable indication that the issue is not with Windows on your hard drive. (and vice versa)
** Please note this is not a definitive test but a good rule of thumb. Machines with hardware problems (memory specifically) have booted fine with these disks.
* Keep your Windows install CD and serial safe with these too - useful for [http://support.microsoft.com/kb/315341 in-place upgrades]

If you follow the above you will bullet-proof your personal data and you Windows installation in general. Only hardware problems should bring your machine down.

= Suspected malware/virus/etc =

* Restore your C: partition that you've prepared from above!!!
If not then:-
* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 Do a virus scan!]
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's self installing.
** Click the button labelled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

Fire up this:

http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/sysinternals/bb963902.aspx

then go to options up the top and hide Microsoft Entries and then scour the remaining list. If there is anything fishy there or claiming to be MS stuff, chances are it is a nasty. The majority of them will have a publisher listed which bad things won't (or not a legit one anyway) but that's not to say that ones without a publisher are bad (see: 7zip/winRAR)

= Hardware =

* If you don't know what hardware you have you can use [http://www.gtopala.com/siw-download.html SIW] then select '''File > Create Log File'''. This will export the hardware and software information about your system and product a file. If you need to share the file and have no other means then try https://www.dropboks.com/ with un: 5punksiw@5punk.co.uk pw: 5punksiw

== General Troubleshooting ==
[http://www.devhardware.com/forums/operating-systems-18/nilpo-s-ultimate-windows-troubleshooting-and-security-guide-81837.html General Troubleshooting Guide]

=== BSODs ===
Blue Screens Of Death are evil but generally not '''that''' much trouble, as they can usually be pinned down to Memory issues or Graphics card Driver or heat issues.

Unfortunately, the best way to work it out is by looking at the bsod (assuming it stays up long enough), Note it down (or get a photo) then google it, you'll usually be able to work out what the issue is by what the BSOD says. A serial number is also given which can sometimes be of easier use with google but don't preferably note the entire message out.

=== Memory Issues. ===
Do memtest, leave it for a while, if no issues are found, swear and maybe consider timings and voltages.

=== Graphics issues. ===
Do Atitool (works on nvidia cards) check how hot the card gets

Aquire a copy of drivercleaner, follow the instructions to nuke graphics drivers.

== Just not working (Failing to post) ==
First thing to do is to listen. Hopefully you'll hear some beeps, which you can look up in your motherboard manual to identify the issue (Typically 8 short beeps signifies a problem with memory, 3 beeps is normally graphics card not seated properly).

If you get no beeps at all, reset your bios/cmos (will be covered in the manual, usually requires moving a jumper or removing the battery)

If that didn't help, it's likely there's a hardware issue, remove everything but cpu and keyboard (remember to remove USB drives etc too)

If it beeps, add memory and try again. (once cpu and ram is in, the machine should post right, (usually a single happy beep) Repeat this adding hardware 1 part at a time, working from most important to least important. once it breaks, remove the last item and feed it to your laser eyed sharks.

Request Help

2007-11-24T14:25:24Z

Cheeseandham:

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "blue screen problem", "suspected virus" or "PC will not switch on"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you don't do this this, you may waste time waiting for advice that you've already thought of and done.
* If it's a purchasing question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given please written them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's. Screenshots are also acceptable [http://www.runpcrun.com/printscreen (how to make screenshots)]

= IMPORTANT!! Be prepared!!! =

Make a "Break open in case of emergency pack"

== System data ==

'''If you keep your system backed up like below, you can protect yourself against having to reinstall or fix ANY software problems.'''
* Use Acronis TrueImage(easy but commercial) or [http://www.runtime.org/dixml.htm DriveImageXML] (free) and keep a backup of your C drive to an external drive! (this step alone will save you huge amounts of grief).
** Keep it updated at once a month for best results.
** If using Acronis then create a bootable CD, if using DriveImageXML then get yourself the relevant BartPE plugin. (See below)
* If you have a recent image of your C drive (and your personal data safe) you can simply reimage your machine back to how it was (and then NTBackup to restore your profile for uber-perfect restore) and solve any problem that you have!

== Personal data ==
* Keep personal data (you can remap My Documents easily) on a separate partition or drive if possible.
* (you can skip this step if you want) - You can use NTBackup (Built in XP Pro and above, an MS download for XP Home) and make a scheduled backup (daily preferable!) of your C:\Documents and Settings\MyName directory (C:\Users on Vista) to keep a backup of your profile (and any data on your Desktop etc). This will keep your documents and settings safe But please, for the love of all is holy make sure you have a backup of your PERSONAL data.
* [http://mozy.com/ Mozy] - pay £2.50 a month a backup all your personal data automatically online, no fuss.

== Other useful disks ==
* Make yourself a recent version of [http://www.nu2.nu/pebuilder/ BartPE] (it is possible to get a pre-made one via torrents but the legality is dubious) Winternals ERD is what the professionals use but is very expensive and so not something I can suggest here. [[Image:broom.gif]]
** But is good as it does a lot of things. If you had both you'd almost ready for anything! Note: Both of these disks can be very useful in diagnosing suspected hardware errors. As these are "Windows on a CD" and are premade, they are free from corruption. errors and driver issues. If you get problems when in this environment then it's a reasonable indication that the issue is not with Windows on your hard drive. (and vice versa)
** Please note this is not a definitive test but a good rule of thumb. Machines with hardware problems (memory specifically) have booted fine with these disks.
* Keep your Windows install CD and serial safe with these too - useful for [http://support.microsoft.com/kb/315341 in-place upgrades]

If you follow the above you will bullet-proof your personal data and you Windows installation in general. Only hardware problems should bring your machine down.

= Suspected malware/virus/etc =

* Restore your C: partition that you've prepared from above!!!
If not then:-
* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 Do a virus scan!]
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's self installing.
** Click the button labelled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

= Hardware =

* If you don't know what hardware you have you can use [http://www.gtopala.com/siw-download.html SIW] then select '''File > Create Log File'''. This will export the hardware and software information about your system and product a file. If you need to share the file and have no other means then try https://www.dropboks.com/ with un: 5punksiw@5punk.co.uk pw: 5punksiw

== General Troubleshooting ==
[http://www.devhardware.com/forums/operating-systems-18/nilpo-s-ultimate-windows-troubleshooting-and-security-guide-81837.html General Troubleshooting Guide]

=== BSODs ===
Blue Screens Of Death are evil, but generally not '''that''' much trouble, as they can usually be pinned down to Memory issues or Graphics card Driver or heat issues.

Unfortunately, the best way to work it out is by looking at the bsod (assuming it stays up long enough) Note it down (or get a photo) then google it, you'll usually be able to work out what the issue is by what the BSOD says.

=== Memory Issues. ===
Do memtest, leave it for a while, if no issues, swear and maybe consider timings and voltages.

=== Graphics issues. ===
Do Atitool (works on nvidia cards) check how hot the card gets

Aquire a copy of drivercleaner, follow the instructions to nuke graphics drivers.

== Just not working (Failing to post) ==
First thing to do is to listen. Hopefully you'll hear some beeps, which you can look up in your motherboard manual to identify the issue (Typically 8 short beeps signifies a problem with memory, 3 beeps is normally graphics card not seated properly).

If you get no beeps at all, reset your bios/cmos (will be covered in the manual, usually requires moving a jumper or removing the battery)

If that didn't help, it's likely there's a hardware issue, remove everything but cpu and keyboard (remember to remove USB drives etc too)

If it beeps, add memory and try again. (once cpu and ram is in, the machine should post right, (usually a single happy beep) Repeat this adding hardware 1 part at a time, working from most important to least important. once it breaks, remove the last item and feed it to your laser eyed sharks.

Request Help

2007-11-24T14:11:05Z

Cheeseandham:

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "blue screen problem", "suspected virus" or "PC will not switch on"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you don't do this this, you may waste time waiting for advice that you've already thought of and done.
* If it's a purchasing question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given please written them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's. Screenshots are also acceptable [http://www.runpcrun.com/printscreen (how to make screenshots)]

= IMPORTANT!! Be prepared!!! =

Make a "Break open in case of emergency pack"

== System data ==

'''If you keep your system backed up like below, you can protect yourself against having to reinstall or fix ANY software problems.'''
* Use Acronis TrueImage(easy but commercial) or [http://www.runtime.org/dixml.htm DriveImageXML] (free) and keep a backup of your C drive to an external drive! (this step alone will save you huge amounts of grief).
** Keep it updated at once a month for best results.
** If using Acronis then create a bootable CD, if using DriveImageXML then get yourself the relevant BartPE plugin. (See below)

== Personal data ==
* Keep personal data (you can remap My Documents easily) on a separate partition or drive if possible.
* You can use NTBackup (Built in XP Pro and above, an MS download for XP Home) and make a scheduled backup (daily preferable!) of your C:\Documents and Settings\MyName directory (C:\Users on Vista) to keep a backup of your profile (and any data on your Desktop etc). This will keep your documents and settings safe (you can skip this step) But please, for the love of all is holy make sure you have a backup of your PERSONAL data.
* [http://mozy.com/ Mozy] - pay £2.50 a month a backup all your personal data automatically online.

== Other useful disks ==
* Make yourself a recent version of [http://www.nu2.nu/pebuilder/ BartPE] (it is possible to get a pre-made one via torrents but the legality is dubious) Winternals ERD is what the professionals use but is very expensive and so not something I can suggest here. [[Image:broom.gif]]
** But is good as it does a lot of things. If you had both you'd almost ready for anything! Note: Both of these disks can be very useful in diagnosing suspected hardware errors. As these are "Windows on a CD" and are premade, they are free from corruption. errors and driver issues. If you get problems when in this environment then it's a reasonable indication that the issue is not with Windows on your hard drive. (and vice versa)
** Please note this is not a definitive test but a good rule of thumb. Machines with hardware problems (memory specifically) have booted fine with these disks.
* Keep your Windows install CD and serial safe with these too - useful for [http://support.microsoft.com/kb/315341 in-place upgrades]
* If you have a recent image of your C drive (and your personal data safe) you can simply reimage your machine back to how it was (and then NTBackup to restore your profile for uber-perfect restore) and solve any problem that you have!

If you follow the above you will bullet-proof your personal data and you Windows installation in general. Only hardware problems should bring your machine down.

= Suspected malware/virus/etc =

* Restore your C: partition that you've prepared from above!!!
If not then:-
* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 Do a virus scan!]
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's self installing.
** Click the button labelled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

= Hardware =

* If you don't know what hardware you have you can use [http://www.gtopala.com/siw-download.html SIW] then select '''File > Create Log File'''. This will export the hardware and software information about your system and product a file. If you need to share the file and have no other means then try https://www.dropboks.com/ with un: 5punksiw@5punk.co.uk pw: 5punksiw

== General Troubleshooting ==
[http://www.devhardware.com/forums/operating-systems-18/nilpo-s-ultimate-windows-troubleshooting-and-security-guide-81837.html General Troubleshooting Guide]

=== BSODs ===
Blue Screens Of Death are evil, but generally not '''that''' much trouble, as they can usually be pinned down to Memory issues or Graphics card Driver or heat issues.

Unfortunately, the best way to work it out is by looking at the bsod (assuming it stays up long enough) Note it down (or get a photo) then google it, you'll usually be able to work out what the issue is by what the BSOD says.

=== Memory Issues. ===
Do memtest, leave it for a while, if no issues, swear and maybe consider timings and voltages.

=== Graphics issues. ===
Do Atitool (works on nvidia cards) check how hot the card gets

Aquire a copy of drivercleaner, follow the instructions to nuke graphics drivers.

== Just not working (Failing to post) ==
First thing to do is to listen. Hopefully you'll hear some beeps, which you can look up in your motherboard manual to identify the issue (Typically 8 short beeps signifies a problem with memory, 3 beeps is normally graphics card not seated properly).

If you get no beeps at all, reset your bios/cmos (will be covered in the manual, usually requires moving a jumper or removing the battery)

If that didn't help, it's likely there's a hardware issue, remove everything but cpu and keyboard (remember to remove USB drives etc too)

If it beeps, add memory and try again. (once cpu and ram is in, the machine should post right, (usually a single happy beep) Repeat this adding hardware 1 part at a time, working from most important to least important. once it breaks, remove the last item and feed it to your laser eyed sharks.

Request Help

2007-11-24T14:09:36Z

Cheeseandham: /* Be prepared!!! */

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "blue screen problem", "suspected virus" or "PC will not switch on"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you don't do this this, you may waste time waiting for advice that you've already thought of and done.
* If it's a purchasing question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given please written them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's. Screenshots are also acceptable [http://www.runpcrun.com/printscreen (how to make screenshots)]

= IMPORTANT!! Be prepared!!! =

Make a "Break open in case of emergency pack"

= System data =

'''If you keep your system backed up like below, you can protect yourself against having to reinstall or fix ANY software problems.'''
* Use Acronis TrueImage(easy but commercial) or [http://www.runtime.org/dixml.htm DriveImageXML] (free) and keep a backup of your C drive to an external drive! (this step alone will save you huge amounts of grief).
** Keep it updated at once a month for best results.
** If using Acronis then create a bootable CD, if using DriveImageXML then get yourself the relevant BartPE plugin. (See below)

= Personal data =
* Keep personal data (you can remap My Documents easily) on a separate partition or drive if possible.
* You can use NTBackup (Built in XP Pro and above, an MS download for XP Home) and make a scheduled backup (daily preferable!) of your C:\Documents and Settings\MyName directory (C:\Users on Vista) to keep a backup of your profile (and any data on your Desktop etc). This will keep your documents and settings safe (you can skip this step) But please, for the love of all is holy make sure you have a backup of your PERSONAL data.
* [http://mozy.com/ Mozy] - pay £2.50 a month a backup all your personal data automatically online.

= Other useful disks =
* Make yourself a recent version of [http://www.nu2.nu/pebuilder/ BartPE] (it is possible to get a pre-made one via torrents but the legality is dubious) Winternals ERD is what the professionals use but is very expensive and so not something I can suggest here. [[Image:broom.gif]]
** But is good as it does a lot of things. If you had both you'd almost ready for anything! Note: Both of these disks can be very useful in diagnosing suspected hardware errors. As these are "Windows on a CD" and are premade, they are free from corruption. errors and driver issues. If you get problems when in this environment then it's a reasonable indication that the issue is not with Windows on your hard drive. (and vice versa)
** Please note this is not a definitive test but a good rule of thumb. Machines with hardware problems (memory specifically) have booted fine with these disks.
* Keep your Windows install CD and serial safe with these too - useful for [http://support.microsoft.com/kb/315341 in-place upgrades]
* If you have a recent image of your C drive (and your personal data safe) you can simply reimage your machine back to how it was (and then NTBackup to restore your profile for uber-perfect restore) and solve any problem that you have!

If you follow the above you will bullet-proof your personal data and you Windows installation in general. Only hardware problems should bring your machine down.

== Suspected malware/virus/etc ==

* Restore your C: partition that you've prepared from above!!!
If not then:-
* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 Do a virus scan!]
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's self installing.
** Click the button labelled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

== Hardware ==

* If you don't know what hardware you have you can use [http://www.gtopala.com/siw-download.html SIW] then select '''File > Create Log File'''. This will export the hardware and software information about your system and product a file. If you need to share the file and have no other means then try https://www.dropboks.com/ with un: 5punksiw@5punk.co.uk pw: 5punksiw

== General Troubleshooting ==
[http://www.devhardware.com/forums/operating-systems-18/nilpo-s-ultimate-windows-troubleshooting-and-security-guide-81837.html General Troubleshooting Guide]

====BSODs====
Blue Screens Of Death are evil, but generally not '''that''' much trouble, as they can usually be pinned down to Memory issues or Graphics card Driver or heat issues.

Unfortunately, the best way to work it out is by looking at the bsod (assuming it stays up long enough) Note it down (or get a photo) then google it, you'll usually be able to work out what the issue is by what the BSOD says.

====Memory Issues.====
Do memtest, leave it for a while, if no issues, swear and maybe consider timings and voltages.

====Graphics issues.====
Do Atitool (works on nvidia cards) check how hot the card gets

Aquire a copy of drivercleaner, follow the instructions to nuke graphics drivers.

=== Just not working (Failing to post) ===
First thing to do is to listen. Hopefully you'll hear some beeps, which you can look up in your motherboard manual to identify the issue (Typically 8 short beeps signifies a problem with memory, 3 beeps is normally graphics card not seated properly).

If you get no beeps at all, reset your bios/cmos (will be covered in the manual, usually requires moving a jumper or removing the battery)

If that didn't help, it's likely there's a hardware issue, remove everything but cpu and keyboard (remember to remove USB drives etc too)

If it beeps, add memory and try again. (once cpu and ram is in, the machine should post right, (usually a single happy beep) Repeat this adding hardware 1 part at a time, working from most important to least important. once it breaks, remove the last item and feed it to your laser eyed sharks.

Request Help

2007-10-25T14:11:26Z

Cheeseandham: /* Be prepared!!! */

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "blue screen problem", "suspected virus" or "PC will not switch on"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you don't do this this, you may waste time waiting for advice that you've already thought of and done.
* If it's a purchasing question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given please written them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's. Screenshots are also acceptable [http://www.runpcrun.com/printscreen (how to make screenshots)]

= Be prepared!!! =

Make a "Break open in case of emergency pack"

* Keep personal data (you can remap My Documents easily) on a seperate partition or drive.
* You can use NTBackup (Built in XP Pro and above, an MS download for XP Home) and make a scheduled backup (daily preferable!) of your C:\Documents and Settings\MyName directory (C:\Users on Vista) to keep a backup of your profile (and any data on your Desktop etc). This will keep your documents and settings safe (you can skip this step) But please, for the love of all is holy make sure you have a backup of your PERSONAL data.
* Use Acronis TrueImage(easy but commercial) or [http://www.runtime.org/dixml.htm DriveImageXML] (free) and keep a backup of your C drive to an external drive! Keep it updated at least once a month (this step alone will save you huge amounts of grief). If using Acronis then create a bootable CD, if using DriveImageXML then get yourself the relevant BartPE plugin. (See below)
* Make yourself a recent version of [http://www.nu2.nu/pebuilder/ BartPE] (it is possible to get a pre-made one via torrents but the legality is dubious) Winternals ERD is what the professionals use but is very expensive and so not something I can suggest here. [[Image:broom.gif]] But is good as it does a lot of things. If you had both you'd almost ready for anything! Note: Both of these disks can be very useful in diagnosing suspected hardware errors. As BartPE is "Windows on a CD" and is premade, it is free from corruption. errors and driver issues. If you get problems when in the BartPE environment then it's a fairly good indication that the issue is not with Windows on your hard drive. (and vice versa) - please note this is not a definitive test but a good rule of thumb. Machines with hardware problems (memory specificially) have booted fine with BartPE.
* Lastly keep your Windows install CD and serial safe with these too.
* If you have a recent image of your C drive (and your personal data safe) you can simply reimage your machine back to how it was (and then NTBackup to restore your profile for uber-perfect restore) and solve any problem that you have!

If you follow the above you will bullet-proof your personal data and you Windows installation in general. Only a hardware problem will bring your machine down.

== Suspected malware/virus/etc ==

* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 Do a virus scan!]
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's self installing.
** Click the button labelled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

== Hardware ==

* If you don't know what hardware you have you can use [http://www.gtopala.com/siw-download.html SIW] then select '''File > Create Log File'''. This will export the hardware and software information about your system and product a file. If you need to share the file and have no other means then try https://www.dropboks.com/ with un: 5punksiw@5punk.co.uk pw: 5punksiw

== General Troubleshooting ==
[http://www.devhardware.com/forums/operating-systems-18/nilpo-s-ultimate-windows-troubleshooting-and-security-guide-81837.html General Troubleshooting Guide]

====BSODs====
Blue Screens Of Death are evil, but generally not '''that''' much trouble, as they can usually be pinned down to Memory issues or Graphics card Driver or heat issues.

Unfortunately, the best way to work it out is by looking at the bsod (assuming it stays up long enough) Note it down (or get a photo) then google it, you'll usually be able to work out what the issue is by what the BSOD says.

====Memory Issues.====
Do memtest, leave it for a while, if no issues, swear and maybe consider timings and voltages.

====Graphics issues.====
Do Atitool (works on nvidia cards) check how hot the card gets

Aquire a copy of drivercleaner, follow the instructions to nuke graphics drivers.

=== Just not working (Failing to post) ===
First thing to do is to listen. Hopefully you'll hear some beeps, which you can look up in your motherboard manual to identify the issue (Typically 8 short beeps signifies a problem with memory, 3 beeps is normally graphics card not seated properly).

If you get no beeps at all, reset your bios/cmos (will be covered in the manual, usually requires moving a jumper or removing the battery)

If that didn't help, it's likely there's a hardware issue, remove everything but cpu and keyboard (remember to remove USB drives etc too)

If it beeps, add memory and try again. (once cpu and ram is in, the machine should post right, (usually a single happy beep) Repeat this adding hardware 1 part at a time, working from most important to least important. once it breaks, remove the last item and feed it to your laser eyed sharks.

Request Help

2007-10-17T20:08:09Z

Cheeseandham: /* Be prepared!!! */

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "blue screen problem", "suspected virus" or "PC will not switch on"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you don't do this this, you may waste time waiting for advice that you've already thought of and done.
* If it's a purchasing question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given please written them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's. Screenshots are also acceptable [http://www.runpcrun.com/printscreen (how to make screenshots)]

= Be prepared!!! =

Make a "Break open in case of emergency pack"

* Keep personal data (you can remap My Documents easily) on a seperate partition or drive.
* You can use NTBackup (Built in XP Pro and above, an MS download for XP Home) and make a scheduled backup (daily preferable!) of your C:\Documents and Settings\MyName directory (C:\Users on Vista) to keep a backup of your profile (and any data on your Desktop etc). This will keep your documents and settings safe (you can skip this step) But please, for the love of all is holy make sure you have a backup of your PERSONAL data.
* Use Acronis TrueImage(easy but commercial) or [http://www.runtime.org/dixml.htm DriveImageXML] (free) and keep a backup of your C drive to an external drive! Keep it updated at least once a month (this step alone will save you huge amounts of grief). If using Acronis then create a bootable CD, if using DriveImageXML then get yourself the relevant BartPE plugin. (See below)
* Make yourself a recent version of [http://www.nu2.nu/pebuilder/ BartPE] (it is possible to get a pre-made one via torrents but the legality is dubious) Winternals ERD is what the professionals use but is very expensive and so not something I can suggest here. [[Image:broom.gif]] But is good as it does a lot of things. If you had both you'd almost ready for anything!
* Lastly keep your Windows install CD and serial safe with these too.
* If you have a recent image of your C drive (and your personal data safe) you can simply reimage your machine back to how it was (and then NTBackup to restore your profile for uber-perfect restore) and solve any problem that you have!

If you follow the above you will bullet-proof your personal data and you Windows installation in general. Only a hardware problem will bring your machine down.

== Suspected malware/virus/etc ==

* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 Do a virus scan!]
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's self installing.
** Click the button labelled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

== Hardware ==

* If you don't know what hardware you have you can use [http://www.gtopala.com/siw-download.html SIW] then select '''File > Create Log File'''. This will export the hardware and software information about your system and product a file. If you need to share the file and have no other means then try https://www.dropboks.com/ with un: 5punksiw@5punk.co.uk pw: 5punksiw

== General Troubleshooting ==
[http://www.devhardware.com/forums/operating-systems-18/nilpo-s-ultimate-windows-troubleshooting-and-security-guide-81837.html General Troubleshooting Guide]

====BSODs====
Blue Screens Of Death are evil, but generally not '''that''' much trouble, as they can usually be pinned down to Memory issues or Graphics card Driver or heat issues.

Unfortunately, the best way to work it out is by looking at the bsod (assuming it stays up long enough) Note it down (or get a photo) then google it, you'll usually be able to work out what the issue is by what the BSOD says.

====Memory Issues.====
Do memtest, leave it for a while, if no issues, swear and maybe consider timings and voltages.

====Graphics issues.====
Do Atitool (works on nvidia cards) check how hot the card gets

Aquire a copy of drivercleaner, follow the instructions to nuke graphics drivers.

=== Just not working (Failing to post) ===
First thing to do is to listen. Hopefully you'll hear some beeps, which you can look up in your motherboard manual to identify the issue (Typically 8 short beeps signifies a problem with memory, 3 beeps is normally graphics card not seated properly).

If you get no beeps at all, reset your bios/cmos (will be covered in the manual, usually requires moving a jumper or removing the battery)

If that didn't help, it's likely there's a hardware issue, remove everything but cpu and keyboard (remember to remove USB drives etc too)

If it beeps, add memory and try again. (once cpu and ram is in, the machine should post right, (usually a single happy beep) Repeat this adding hardware 1 part at a time, working from most important to least important. once it breaks, remove the last item and feed it to your laser eyed sharks.

Request Help

2007-10-17T20:01:15Z

Cheeseandham: /* Be prepared!!! */

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "blue screen problem", "suspected virus" or "PC will not switch on"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you don't do this this, you may waste time waiting for advice that you've already thought of and done.
* If it's a purchasing question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given please written them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's. Screenshots are also acceptable [http://www.runpcrun.com/printscreen (how to make screenshots)]

= Be prepared!!! =

Make a "Break open in case of emergency pack"

* Keep personal data (you can remap My Documents easily) on a seperate partition or drive.
* You can use NTBackup (Built in XP Pro and above, an MS download for XP Home) and make a scheduled backup (daily preferable!) of your C:\Documents and Settings\MyName directory (C:\Users on Vista) to keep a backup of your profile (and any data on your Desktop etc). This will keep your documents and settings safe (you can skip this step) But please, for the love of all is holy make sure you have a backup of your PERSONAL data.
* Use Acronis TrueImage(easy but commercial) or [http://www.runtime.org/dixml.htm DriveImageXML] (free) and keep a backup of your C drive to an external drive! Keep it updated at least once a month (this step alone will save you huge amounts of grief). If using Acronis then create a bootable CD, if using DriveImageXML then get yourself the relevant BartPE plugin. (See below)
* Make yourself a recent version of BartPE (it is possible to get one via torrents but the legality is dubious) Winternals ERD is what the professionals use but is very expensive and so not something I can suggest here. [[Image:broom.gif]] But is good as it does a lot of things. If you had both you'd almost ready for anything!
* Lastly keep your Windows install CD and serial safe with these too.
* If you have a recent image of your C drive (and your personal data safe) you can simply reimage your machine back to how it was (and then NTBackup to restore your profile for uber-perfect restore) and solve any problem that you have!

If you follow the above you will bullet-proof your personal data and you Windows installation in general. Only a hardware problem will bring your machine down.

== Suspected malware/virus/etc ==

* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 Do a virus scan!]
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's self installing.
** Click the button labelled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

== Hardware ==

* If you don't know what hardware you have you can use [http://www.gtopala.com/siw-download.html SIW] then select '''File > Create Log File'''. This will export the hardware and software information about your system and product a file. If you need to share the file and have no other means then try https://www.dropboks.com/ with un: 5punksiw@5punk.co.uk pw: 5punksiw

== General Troubleshooting ==
[http://www.devhardware.com/forums/operating-systems-18/nilpo-s-ultimate-windows-troubleshooting-and-security-guide-81837.html General Troubleshooting Guide]

====BSODs====
Blue Screens Of Death are evil, but generally not '''that''' much trouble, as they can usually be pinned down to Memory issues or Graphics card Driver or heat issues.

Unfortunately, the best way to work it out is by looking at the bsod (assuming it stays up long enough) Note it down (or get a photo) then google it, you'll usually be able to work out what the issue is by what the BSOD says.

====Memory Issues.====
Do memtest, leave it for a while, if no issues, swear and maybe consider timings and voltages.

====Graphics issues.====
Do Atitool (works on nvidia cards) check how hot the card gets

Aquire a copy of drivercleaner, follow the instructions to nuke graphics drivers.

=== Just not working (Failing to post) ===
First thing to do is to listen. Hopefully you'll hear some beeps, which you can look up in your motherboard manual to identify the issue (Typically 8 short beeps signifies a problem with memory, 3 beeps is normally graphics card not seated properly).

If you get no beeps at all, reset your bios/cmos (will be covered in the manual, usually requires moving a jumper or removing the battery)

If that didn't help, it's likely there's a hardware issue, remove everything but cpu and keyboard (remember to remove USB drives etc too)

If it beeps, add memory and try again. (once cpu and ram is in, the machine should post right, (usually a single happy beep) Repeat this adding hardware 1 part at a time, working from most important to least important. once it breaks, remove the last item and feed it to your laser eyed sharks.

Request Help

2007-10-17T16:40:46Z

Cheeseandham: /* General information */

File:Broom.gif

2007-10-17T16:33:10Z

Cheeseandham: This is a brrom

This is a brrom

Request Help

2007-10-17T16:25:06Z

Cheeseandham: /* General information */

Request Help

2007-09-15T09:54:54Z

Cheeseandham: /* General Troubleshooting */

Request Help

2007-09-15T09:54:32Z

Cheeseandham: /* BSODs */

Request Help

2007-09-05T16:19:46Z

Cheeseandham: /* General information */

Request Help

2007-09-05T09:34:41Z

Cheeseandham: spelling mistakes

Request Help

2007-09-05T09:33:50Z

Cheeseandham:

Request Help

2007-09-05T09:33:25Z

Cheeseandham: minor edit

Request Help

2007-09-05T09:29:39Z

Cheeseandham: /* Hardware */

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "bluescreen problem" or "suspected virus"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you miss this, time may be spent waiting for advice you've already done.
* If it's a purchaseding question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given please writen them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's. Screenshots are also acceptable.

== Suspected malware/virus/etc ==

* Do a virus scan! http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 is still relevant.
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's slef installing.
** Click the button labeled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

== Hardware ==

* If you don't know what hardware you have you can use [http://www.gtopala.com/siw-download.html SIW] then select '''File > Create Log File'''. This will export the hardware and software information about your system and product a file. If you need to share the file and have no other means then try https://www.dropboks.com/ with un: 5punksiw@5punk.co.uk pw: 5punksiw

Request Help

2007-09-05T09:29:09Z

Cheeseandham: added hardware

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "bluescreen problem" or "suspected virus"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you miss this, time may be spent waiting for advice you've already done.
* If it's a purchaseding question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given please writen them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's. Screenshots are also acceptable.

== Suspected malware/virus/etc ==

* Do a virus scan! http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 is still relevant.
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's slef installing.
** Click the button labeled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

== Hardware ==

* If you don't know what hardware you have you can use [http://www.gtopala.com/siw-download.html SIW] then select '''File > Create Log File''' this will export the hardware and software information about your system and product a file. If you need to share the file and have no other means then try https://www.dropboks.com/ with un: 5punksiw@5punk.co.uk pw: 5punksiw

Request Help

2007-09-05T07:54:11Z

Cheeseandham:

Request Help

2007-09-05T07:45:46Z

Cheeseandham: initial page

= General information =

* Make the title of the post as relevant as possible. Titles like "weird problem" or "fucking computer" are less helpful than "bluescreen problem" or "suspected virus"
* Give as much information as possible about your problem and whatever steps you've taken so far to solve it. If you miss this, time may be spent waiting for advice you've already done.
* If it's a purchaseding question, be sure to give the specifications of what you want and a budget.
* If errorz are given please writen them down exactly, including all fiddly numbers, letters and CDC's.

== Suspected malware/virus/etc ==

* Do a virus scan! http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=884 is still relevant.
* wait 5 minutes after booting, then go to a command prompt and type

tasklist /V >C:\tasklist.txt

then show us the textfile created on your C drive called tasklist.txt.
It helps to put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability on the forums.

* Download [http://www.spywareinfo.com/~merijn/programs.php HijackThis] and run it, it's slef installing.
** Click the button labeled '''Do a system scan''' and '''save a logfile'''.
** HijackThis will quickly scan your system, and then open two new windows. The results of the HijackThis scan, and hijackthis.log in Notepad. Save hijackthis.log. By default it will be saved to C:\HijackThis, or you can chose “Save As…”, and save to another location.
** Hijackthis.log contains the info that’s required to receive analysis and assistance. Highlight the entire contents. Copy and paste the contents into your post, along with a complete description of your problem(s).(again put it in [code] and [/code] tags for readability) DO NOT fix anything. Wait for help.

ProfLAN3! - 22nd-23rd September

2007-08-31T11:23:25Z

Cheeseandham:

== What is it? ==

For those who are new to the concept:

This is a weekend of boozing, gaming, explosions and general tomfoolery. Its in [http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=rickmansworth&ie=UTF8&ll=51.638476,-0.469666&spn=0.60513,1.2854&z=10&om=1 Rickmansworth].

Its a bring-your-own-pc jobby. Network will be provided.

An assortment of games will probably be played, CSS, BEEF, QUAKE, UT2004, C&C etc

There will be foods & booze, but best bring your favourites. Takeout will be ordered i expect at some point, and there are an assortment of local pubs/restaurants if we feel adventurous.
There are various available beds, and floor sleeping space is not an issue. Bring a sleeping bag & rollmat if you have one.

* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=10899 Any questions, post on this thread]
* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/scheduler.php?mode=show&id=1325 Scheduler, mark yourself in or not]

== Driving ==
=== From ===

* Wiggy - Chesterfield
** Grimmie
** Tezz
** Berk
** Joose
* Cheeseandham - North London
* MrBobbins - West London

*Jockgit - From Blackpool

=== Needs lift ===

*Berk, from leicesterish (le194ng) Gonk + 2 LCDs + spare tower if needed

== Equipment ==

=== Offered ===

* Ty - 4xAirbeads, 1xLiver (bit nackered, but will do the job), 1xFluffy Purple Mohawk
* KB - spare gaming machine and 20" lcd
* bobbins - might have a spare to bring if needed, not super but it'll Beef and CS
* cheeseandham - 19" LCD, 2 wii controllers
* profhawking - 3 TFTs at my disposal - 2 good, 1 rubbish. Gaming grade laptop. Various CRTs available i think.

=== Bagsied ===

* grimmie - monitor
* TezzRexx - monitor
* Joose - monitor

ProfLAN3! - 22nd-23rd September

2007-08-31T11:22:35Z

Cheeseandham:

== What is it? ==

For those who are new to the concept:

This is a weekend of boozing, gaming, explosions and general tomfoolery. Its in [http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=rickmansworth&ie=UTF8&ll=51.638476,-0.469666&spn=0.60513,1.2854&z=10&om=1 Rickmansworth].

Its a bring-your-own-pc jobby. Network will be provided.

An assortment of games will probably be played, CSS, BEEF, QUAKE, UT2004, C&C etc

There will be foods & booze, but best bring your favourites. Takeout will be ordered i expect at some point, and there are an assortment of local pubs/restaurants if we feel adventurous.
There are various available beds, and floor sleeping space is not an issue. Bring a sleeping bag & rollmat if you have one.

* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=10899 Any questions, post on this thread]
* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/scheduler.php?mode=show&id=1325 Scheduler, mark yourself in or not]

== Driving ==
=== From ===

* Wiggy - Chesterfield
* Grimmie
* Tezz
* Berk
* Joose
* Cheeseandham - North London
* MrBobbins - West London

*Jockgit - From Blackpool

=== Needs lift ===

*Berk, from leicesterish (le194ng) Gonk + 2 LCDs + spare tower if needed

== Equipment ==

=== Offered ===

* Ty - 4xAirbeads, 1xLiver (bit nackered, but will do the job), 1xFluffy Purple Mohawk
* KB - spare gaming machine and 20" lcd
* bobbins - might have a spare to bring if needed, not super but it'll Beef and CS
* cheeseandham - 19" LCD, 2 wii controllers
* profhawking - 3 TFTs at my disposal - 2 good, 1 rubbish. Gaming grade laptop. Various CRTs available i think.

=== Bagsied ===

* grimmie - monitor
* TezzRexx - monitor
* Joose - monitor

ProfLAN3! - 22nd-23rd September

2007-08-30T19:15:49Z

Cheeseandham:

== What is it? ==

For those who are new to the concept:

This is a weekend of boozing, gaming, explosions and general tomfoolery. Its in [http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=rickmansworth&ie=UTF8&ll=51.638476,-0.469666&spn=0.60513,1.2854&z=10&om=1 Rickmansworth].

Its a bring-your-own-pc jobby. Network will be provided.

An assortment of games will probably be played, CSS, BEEF, QUAKE, UT2004, C&C etc

There will be foods & booze, but best bring your favourites. Takeout will be ordered i expect at some point, and there are an assortment of local pubs/restaurants if we feel adventurous.
There are various available beds, and floor sleeping space is not an issue. Bring a sleeping bag & rollmat if you have one.

* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=10899 Any questions, post on this thread]
* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/scheduler.php?mode=show&id=1325 Scheduler, mark yourself in or not]

== Driving ==
=== From ===

* Wiggy - Chesterfield ???
* Cheeseandham - North London
* Joose -

=== Needs lift ===

* KB - Leicester
* Grimmie - Brummingham

== Equipment ==

=== Offered ===

* KB - spare gaming machine and 20" lcd
* bobbins - might have a spare to bring if needed, not super but it'll Beef and CS
* cheeseandham - 19" LCD, 2 wii controllers
* profhawking - couple of TFTs at my disposal,

=== Bagsied ===

* grimmie - monitor
* TezzRexx - monitor
* Joose - monitor

ProfLAN3! - 22nd-23rd September

2007-08-30T19:13:20Z

Cheeseandham:

For those who are new to the concept:

This is a weekend of boozing, gaming, explosions and general tomfoolery. Its in Rickmansworth.
Check this:
[http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=rickmansworth&ie=UTF8&ll=51.638476,-0.469666&spn=0.60513,1.2854&z=10&om=1 Googleymaps]

Its a bring-your-own-pc jobby. Network will be provided.

An assortment of games will probably be played, CSS, BEEF, QUAKE, UT2004, C&C etc

There will be foods & booze, but best bring your favourites. Takeout will be ordered i expect at some point, and there are an assortment of local pubs/restaurants if we feel adventurous.
There are various available beds, and floor sleeping space is not an issue. Bring a sleeping bag & rollmat if you have one.

* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=10899 Any questions, post on this thread]
* [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/scheduler.php?mode=show&id=1325 Scheduler, mark yourself in or not]

== Driving from ==

* Wiggy - Chesterfield ???
* Cheeseandham - North London
* Chesterfield -

== Needs lift ==

* KB - Leicester
* Grimmie - Brummingham

== Equipment ==

* KB - spare gaming machine and 20" lcd
* bobbins - might have a spare to bring if needed, not super but it'll Beef and CS
* cheeseandham - 19" LCD, 2 wii controllers
* profhawking - couple of TFTs at my disposal,

=== bagsied ===

* grimmie - monitor
* TezzRexx - monitor
* Joose - monitor

Main Page

2007-05-31T15:31:45Z

Cheeseandham: /* Who is 5punk? */

===What is 5punk?===

''"5punk - the gaming equivalent of a kickaround in the park"''

'''[http://www.5punk.co.uk 5punk]''' is a friendly community of gamers based on the ethic of playing for fun hence the title.

Basically we play for fun, get on well with like minded gamers and have good laugh in the process.

We also run our own [[Bukkake|gameserver]], as this allows us to switch games we host easily depending on what's popular.

====Who is 5punk?====

'''FatherJack (Overlord of [http://www.5punk.co.uk 5punk]):'''

After Woo Elephant Yeah stepped down in May 06, the status of Overlord was passed to FatherJack by the [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=7126 ruling council].

'''Woo Elephant Yeah (Founder of [http://www.5punk.co.uk 5punk]):'''

"Well one day I decided it would be a good idea to get like minded 'b3tans' ([http://b3ta.com '''b3ta''']) to all play online games together. Since then there's been no looking back, and 5punk has now turned into an active online gaming community for all ages and types of people.
You do not have to be a member of b3ta to join 5punk, as it's an open gaming community, it's just that b3ta is historically a root for people to come here."

====Where is 5punk?====

If they're not gaming or forum whoring at '''http://www.5punk.co.uk''' ...then they must be at the [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=3079&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 '''pub'''].

====Why 5punk?====

This is at least partly related to the being an offspring of b3ta.com

The use of a number in the place of a letter started with b3ta, but was taken up by 4rthur, 5punk, just as a nod to our roots.

[http://www.b3ta.com/talk/64446 Thread where the name was decided.]

====How do you pronounce 5punk?====

Spunk - a slang term for male ejaculate.
Not five-punk

===Games we often play===

*[[Battlefield 2]]
*[[Battlefield 2142]]
*[[Counterstrike|Counter Strike: Source]]
*[[Call of Duty| Call of Duty: United Offensive]]
*[[EVE]]
*[[Other Games| List of other games]] - These are less popular games, but still have a following in 5punk

The games we play change reasonably often, and we always try new games but tend to get bored of them pretty quickly if it's nothing special.

However [[Battlefield 2|BF2]], [[Counterstrike| CS:S]], [[Call of Duty|CoD:UO]] and [[EVE]] are our staple games with a strong, and in the case of Eve, militant following (No, really. Those EVE players are nuts).

==== When does 5punk play? ====

We play games most evenings, generally using a set schedule of games during the week and random games as and when they happen using Xfire.

*'''Monday:''' Nothing set
*'''Tuesday:''' [[Call of Duty]]
*'''Wednesday:''' [[Counterstrike| Counter Strike: Source]]
*'''Thursday:''' [[Battlefield 2142]]
*'''Friday:''' [[CoH/CoV| City of Heroes]]
*'''Saturday:''' Nothing set
*'''Sunday:''' Nothing set

====More info about the games we play====

===== [[Battlefield 2]] =====

Our BF2 addiction has been gaining power since release, often getting 8+ players for our scheduled games on thursdays.

We pooled our funds and rented our own ranked BF2 server, which could be found [http://www.game-monitor.com/GameServer/81.19.208.85:16567/5punk.co.uk_-_Get_some_on_you.html Here] but can't now, so there.

===== [[Battlefield 2142]] =====

Though not widely accepted by the 5punk community it has a fairly dedicated following of a few regular players.

===== [[Call of Duty|Call of Duty: United Offensive]] =====

AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS CANNON
(And you can shoot stuff.)

We use a lot of custom maps which can be downloaded [http://files.hairy-arse.com/CallofDuty/Maps.rar Here]

===== [[CoH/CoV| City of Heores / City of Villains]] =====

A nonspecific Superhero comic based MMO that is slowly gaining popularity on 5punk. Not particularly deep, but combined with Teamspeak is often highly amusing.

CoH and CoV are two seperate games with a slight overlap - bought seperately but one subscription fee for both, playing as either a hero or a villain. The two overlap in certain PvP areas, and owning both offers certain advantages for players on either side.

===== [[Counterstrike| Counter Strike: Source]] =====

omg! hax

===== [[EVE]] =====

One of the most absorbing and involved MMOs around, EVE differs greatly from others in that grind does not increase your skillpoints as training is based purely on time. Grind will earn you isk (in-game currency) and allow you to buy new skills to fly new ships, fit new LASERS!

In-depth details on the game can be found here in [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=2305 Wiggy's EVE review]

The 5punk community in EVE is based around the fantastic 5punkorp (think Guild), based on the ideals of bumming, more bumming, freedom and the spirit of fun! (But mostly bumming. - Wig)

They also have a ship set-ups page [[http://www.5punk.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=Ship_fitting_Frontpage Here]]

===== [[OFP| Operation Flashpoint & Armed Assault]] =====

OFP is one of the older but still one of the best modern era FPS's out there. OPF focuses more on low level tactics than MMO's like BEEF and requires thought, teamwork and combined arms cooperation to achieve mission success. It is set apart from the competition by a large and active community who continue to produce new vehicles, weapons, maps and mods 5 years after it was first released. The recently released sequel, Armed Assault, is very similar in intent but fixed alot of the grievances that were present in the original. It promises to continue the success of the series and retain popularity in the modding community.

There's a 5punky mod database which will list any mods that we have on our server and in the missions that we create. Mod database can be found [[http://www.5punk.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=ArmaMods Here]]

===== [[SWAT 4| SWAT 4 - The Stetchkov Syndicate]] =====

Oldish Tactical first person shooter, slow paced, challenging to play well, but still fun.

===== [http://www.urbandead.com UrbanDead] =====

Inconspicuous browser based MMORPG set in the zombie apocalypse, easily played at lunch time at work. 5punkers tend to gravitate towards pubs, occasionally organising excursions such as the Malton Pub Crawl in order to bring sunshine to the lives (or undeaths, as the case may be) of human and zombie alike.

===== [http://www.shartak.com Shartak] =====

A Browser based MMPORG set on a desert island, Featuring Outsiders, Pirates and natives.

Quite similar to Urban dead, likely because the maker was inspired by urbandead.

===== [http://www.atorian.com Atorian] =====

Another inconspicuous browser based game. Set at some point in the future 5punkers in this game are purely self-defensive, but since there's always someone trying to take our planets we never stop fighting.

===== [[SLA_Industries| SLA Industries]] =====

Beardier than Brian Blessed dunked in a vat of testosterone, a Dungeons & Dragonsesque pen and paper RPG - but played over the internet. SLA Industries is an urban horror roleplaying game set in dark futuristic universe called the World of Progress. The World of Progress spans thousands of worlds, most of which are ruled by the ubiquitous SLA Industries. SLA Industries is a giant megacorporation, the virtually unchallenged power in the World of Progress. Players play the part of Operatives - freelance agents who take jobs from SLA to protect the public and the company.

=== Stuff we run ===

This list is likely to change often, so just check [http://www.game-monitor.com/search.php?search=5punk&type=server Here] for our current servers

[http://www.5punk.co.uk/demo.php Teamspeak server]

[[Radio|5punk Radio]]

'''CS:S''' 217.112.95.67:27015

'''CoD:UO''' 217.112.95.67:28960

=== Apps we use and how to use them. ===

==== Xfire ====
Xfire is an app that acts as an instant messenger with in game support and allows us to easily join other 5punkers in game.

With the 22/9/06 Xfire update, they introduced a [http://www.xfire.com/clans Clan] function, this allows users to add everyone to their contact list easily by joining the 5punk clan [http://www.xfire.com/clans/5punk here], you'll usually be accepted within 24hours.

We also have a list of our xfire usernames and a small app to automatically add everyone, though it isn't always reliable and isn't updated often.

[http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/xfired.php Xfire List]

[http://www.5punk.co.uk/XfireAdd2.exe Auto-Adder]

When signing up at the forum, make sure you add your Xfire username to your forum profile, as this is the core of 5punk, and without Xfire, we wouldn't even be here.

==== Teamspeak ====

Teamspeak is our voice comms medium of choice - given the ease of use, and reasonable licensing terms.

*Server Address: 217.112.95.67:8767
*Server Password: cranberry

==== Hamachi ====

Used to allow us to play older games over the Internet, also allows us to test experimental servers safely and securely.

[http://www.angelfire.com/games5/darkcry/hamachi_eng.htm Basic guide] (placeholder until a 5punk-specific one is made)

If Hamachi is needed for a game, the network to join and password for the network will be posted in the scheduler.

==== Last.fm ====

We have a last.fm group, last.fm is an plug-in for your media player which keeps track of what music you have been playing.

[http://www.last.fm/group/5punk.co.uk]

Sign up and someone will approve you.

==== Nintendo Wii Address Book ====

To allow the sharing of "Miis" and to send messages back and forth with Nintendo's console, you have to exchange Wii system addresses. More info here:
[[Wii Addresses]]

==== Folding@Home ====

[http://folding.stanford.edu/ '''Folding@Home'''] is a distributed computing project -- people from through out the world [http://folding.stanford.edu/download.html '''download'''] and run software to band together to make one of the largest supercomputers in the world. Your participation can help lead to a cure for these diseases:
*Alzheimer's Disease
*Cancer
*Huntington's Disease
*Osteogenesis Imperfecta
*Parkinson's Disease
*Ribosome & antibiotics

Join the [http://fah-web.stanford.edu/cgi-bin/main.py?qtype=teampage&teamnum=51199 '''5punk Team'''] if you care to join the cause. [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=3334&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 '''Folding@5punk Info''']

=== 5punk Slang/Terminology/Memes. ===

*BEEF - Our name for [[Battlefield 2]] (Battlefield 2 > BF2 > BF > BEEF)
*CoD - Our name for the [[Call of Duty]] series (usually referring to Call of Duty: United Offensive)
*Veal - Sometimes use slang names for Battlefield 2142
*HamAndCheese - Our name for [[Main Page#Hamachi|Hamachi]]. (Also known as "HammyCheese, ChammyHeese Jammyknees")
*Floorware - Software you've found, often by careless people misplacing CDs.
*Deject's mom - The mother of one of our members, often heard screaming in the background of [[Main Page#Teamspeak|Teamspeak]]. "Werd to your mother!"
*Ninja concerts - Cited as the reason for people avoiding arrangements.
*/me bums - Staple greeting of the Eve players, taken from their gentle (sometimes) in-game sodomy.
*CAEK! - Like cake, but better.
*ZOMG! Pie! - Flaky pastry with a nice filling
*This Is Not A Code - It's not a code. Probably.
*REWENGAY - Like revenge, but generally involves more teabagging.
*Magical Gay Fairy Land - World of Warcraft
*[[Charlie]] - Don't ask
*[[liopleurodon|Chaaaaaarlie]] - Seriously, just don't ask.
*CDC - Crudely Drawn Cock. Usually magenta.
*Zombie Tower - A tower of zombies, used to climb to camping Survivors in the Zombie mod for [[Counterstrike| Counter Strike: Source]]
*SNPG - Salmon Ninja Pirate Gayer; a salmon pink ninja-pirate rank icon, used as a punishment

===5punk Archives===

As well as discussion that directly relates to our games, 5punkers also deposit a lot of information within the pages and threads. To aid in finding the information held in these often rambling threads they are archived below.

====[[Cookbook|Geekfood]]====

Threads about food have proved very popular on 5punk, and many recipies have been posted in various threads. A full catalogue of these recipies can be found [[Cookbook|here]].

====Reviews====

5punk has a wealth of gamers of all levels and experience. This makes for an excellent testing ground for most games, and as such we have a reviews forum so that we can share our experiences. Many 5punkers have admitted to trusting the reviews of their fellow gamers to those of magazines. An index of our reviews can be found [[Reviews|here]].

===Site Admins===

'''Woo Elephant Yeah''' - Site Creator

Often referred to as Wey, or Woo (which can be confusing)
5punk is Wey's Baby, as, oddly enough, is Wey's baby.
He is still amazed at how a simple idea has evolved into this rather active gaming community. In May 2007 WEY declared that he was standing down as site owner due to his ever increasing family commitments, but he's still the Daddy of our little family.

'''FatherJack''' - Site Owner

When WEY stepped down as site owner, FatherJack offered to take up the responsibility. It was agreed unanimously, first among the admins and later among the site members, that our foul-mouthed cleric was ideal for the job and with him he has brought new ideas, skills and enthusiasm.

'''Stoat''' - Site Admin

Mustela erminea
Our very own php jedi, Coded the Scheduler and the Discussion board.
Stoat has been there since the birth of 5punk, and without him, we wouldn't have any of the things we have.

'''Dog Pants''' - Site Moderator

After watching his posts for some time, WEY decided to ask Dog Pants to join the 5punk admin team.
Dog Pants has done a wonderful job moderating 5punk's forum, and has helped influence a lot of the recent decisions/suggestions for 5punk.
He can usually be found stumbling around groaning in Urban Dead, or watching Zombie flicks at home.

'''Spoodie''' - Site Moderator/Admin

With more and more of WEY's time being tied up at home, and with the site growing bigger all the time, Spoodie was asked to join the admin team. His calm presence on the forums and web-savvy has allowed him to alleviate the pressure the other admins were beginning to feel and has proved very capable in a crisis.
Spoodie is master of the Impact Text Kittens, and has seen every film, ever.

'''Dr. Kitteny Berk''' - Game Server ([[Bukkake]]) Owner

Quote from WEY:
Abrupt, Rude and quite possibly Obnoxious, Berk speaks his mind and what you see is what you get.
You know where you stand with Berk, and he's the first to admit that. However, without him, 5punk would never have lifted off the ground in the way that it has, and his continuous work, help, time & money has got Bukkake up and running, along with the Shoutcast radio shows as well.
He's the unsung hero, but more a hero without the shiny long blonde hair and chiseled jaw, more of a dark shadowy figure lurking in the corner fixing servers and swearing repeatedly at things whilst snarling.
So to sum up *thinks about words carefully again*, even though Berk can be a bit of a sarcastic foul mouthed bastard, we love him in our very own special way.

==== Others ====

===== [[Team RO-BO]] =====

[[user:Roman Totale|Roman Totale]] and [[user:mrbobbins|MrBobbins]]' team from a CS:S Tournament we held.

Probably won, but as survivors are yet to be found we cannot be sure of this.

Widely believed to be the founding partners of the following website: http://www.deagostini.co.uk/ilovehorses/

'''Gunslinger'''

[[user:Gunslinger|Gunslinger]] was Created by RO-BO using old toaster parts, flips out if he sees a bagel.

So horribly, horribly good at all games.

0.001% of his neural processing runs all NASA orbital navigation and communication systems and he is a technical consultant on [http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/R/richardandjudy/ Richard and Judy]

'''Hehulk'''

Massive [http://www.eve-online.com/ EVE] addict. Claims that [[Main Page#xfire|xfire]] is inaccurate and that this means he has has missed three hundred hours of actual play time due to router issues with ports. Was promoted to moderator on the eve forum just because of the sheer number of hours he plays it.

Also plays BEEF and CSS. Tends to cry hax a lot when losing

'''Pnut'''

5punk's personal Battlefield 2 point resource. An avid fan of Battlefield 2 even though he isnt very good, can often be heard on teamspeak threatening to beat M4niachicken to death with his Keyboard/Mouse/Chair and many other assorted inanimate objects, normally after being sniped for the 9th time.

Main Page

2007-05-31T15:31:26Z

Cheeseandham: Change of overlord.

===What is 5punk?===

''"5punk - the gaming equivalent of a kickaround in the park"''

'''[http://www.5punk.co.uk 5punk]''' is a friendly community of gamers based on the ethic of playing for fun hence the title.

Basically we play for fun, get on well with like minded gamers and have good laugh in the process.

We also run our own [[Bukkake|gameserver]], as this allows us to switch games we host easily depending on what's popular.

====Who is 5punk?====

'''FatherJack (Overlord of [http://www.5punk.co.uk 5punk]):'''
After Woo Elephant Yeah stepped down in May 06, the status of Overlord was passed to FatherJack by the [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=7126 ruling council].

'''Woo Elephant Yeah (Founder of [http://www.5punk.co.uk 5punk]):'''

"Well one day I decided it would be a good idea to get like minded 'b3tans' ([http://b3ta.com '''b3ta''']) to all play online games together. Since then there's been no looking back, and 5punk has now turned into an active online gaming community for all ages and types of people.
You do not have to be a member of b3ta to join 5punk, as it's an open gaming community, it's just that b3ta is historically a root for people to come here."

====Where is 5punk?====

If they're not gaming or forum whoring at '''http://www.5punk.co.uk''' ...then they must be at the [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=3079&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 '''pub'''].

====Why 5punk?====

This is at least partly related to the being an offspring of b3ta.com

The use of a number in the place of a letter started with b3ta, but was taken up by 4rthur, 5punk, just as a nod to our roots.

[http://www.b3ta.com/talk/64446 Thread where the name was decided.]

====How do you pronounce 5punk?====

Spunk - a slang term for male ejaculate.
Not five-punk

===Games we often play===

*[[Battlefield 2]]
*[[Battlefield 2142]]
*[[Counterstrike|Counter Strike: Source]]
*[[Call of Duty| Call of Duty: United Offensive]]
*[[EVE]]
*[[Other Games| List of other games]] - These are less popular games, but still have a following in 5punk

The games we play change reasonably often, and we always try new games but tend to get bored of them pretty quickly if it's nothing special.

However [[Battlefield 2|BF2]], [[Counterstrike| CS:S]], [[Call of Duty|CoD:UO]] and [[EVE]] are our staple games with a strong, and in the case of Eve, militant following (No, really. Those EVE players are nuts).

==== When does 5punk play? ====

We play games most evenings, generally using a set schedule of games during the week and random games as and when they happen using Xfire.

*'''Monday:''' Nothing set
*'''Tuesday:''' [[Call of Duty]]
*'''Wednesday:''' [[Counterstrike| Counter Strike: Source]]
*'''Thursday:''' [[Battlefield 2142]]
*'''Friday:''' [[CoH/CoV| City of Heroes]]
*'''Saturday:''' Nothing set
*'''Sunday:''' Nothing set

====More info about the games we play====

===== [[Battlefield 2]] =====

Our BF2 addiction has been gaining power since release, often getting 8+ players for our scheduled games on thursdays.

We pooled our funds and rented our own ranked BF2 server, which could be found [http://www.game-monitor.com/GameServer/81.19.208.85:16567/5punk.co.uk_-_Get_some_on_you.html Here] but can't now, so there.

===== [[Battlefield 2142]] =====

Though not widely accepted by the 5punk community it has a fairly dedicated following of a few regular players.

===== [[Call of Duty|Call of Duty: United Offensive]] =====

AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS CANNON
(And you can shoot stuff.)

We use a lot of custom maps which can be downloaded [http://files.hairy-arse.com/CallofDuty/Maps.rar Here]

===== [[CoH/CoV| City of Heores / City of Villains]] =====

A nonspecific Superhero comic based MMO that is slowly gaining popularity on 5punk. Not particularly deep, but combined with Teamspeak is often highly amusing.

CoH and CoV are two seperate games with a slight overlap - bought seperately but one subscription fee for both, playing as either a hero or a villain. The two overlap in certain PvP areas, and owning both offers certain advantages for players on either side.

===== [[Counterstrike| Counter Strike: Source]] =====

omg! hax

===== [[EVE]] =====

One of the most absorbing and involved MMOs around, EVE differs greatly from others in that grind does not increase your skillpoints as training is based purely on time. Grind will earn you isk (in-game currency) and allow you to buy new skills to fly new ships, fit new LASERS!

In-depth details on the game can be found here in [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=2305 Wiggy's EVE review]

The 5punk community in EVE is based around the fantastic 5punkorp (think Guild), based on the ideals of bumming, more bumming, freedom and the spirit of fun! (But mostly bumming. - Wig)

They also have a ship set-ups page [[http://www.5punk.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=Ship_fitting_Frontpage Here]]

===== [[OFP| Operation Flashpoint & Armed Assault]] =====

OFP is one of the older but still one of the best modern era FPS's out there. OPF focuses more on low level tactics than MMO's like BEEF and requires thought, teamwork and combined arms cooperation to achieve mission success. It is set apart from the competition by a large and active community who continue to produce new vehicles, weapons, maps and mods 5 years after it was first released. The recently released sequel, Armed Assault, is very similar in intent but fixed alot of the grievances that were present in the original. It promises to continue the success of the series and retain popularity in the modding community.

There's a 5punky mod database which will list any mods that we have on our server and in the missions that we create. Mod database can be found [[http://www.5punk.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=ArmaMods Here]]

===== [[SWAT 4| SWAT 4 - The Stetchkov Syndicate]] =====

Oldish Tactical first person shooter, slow paced, challenging to play well, but still fun.

===== [http://www.urbandead.com UrbanDead] =====

Inconspicuous browser based MMORPG set in the zombie apocalypse, easily played at lunch time at work. 5punkers tend to gravitate towards pubs, occasionally organising excursions such as the Malton Pub Crawl in order to bring sunshine to the lives (or undeaths, as the case may be) of human and zombie alike.

===== [http://www.shartak.com Shartak] =====

A Browser based MMPORG set on a desert island, Featuring Outsiders, Pirates and natives.

Quite similar to Urban dead, likely because the maker was inspired by urbandead.

===== [http://www.atorian.com Atorian] =====

Another inconspicuous browser based game. Set at some point in the future 5punkers in this game are purely self-defensive, but since there's always someone trying to take our planets we never stop fighting.

===== [[SLA_Industries| SLA Industries]] =====

Beardier than Brian Blessed dunked in a vat of testosterone, a Dungeons & Dragonsesque pen and paper RPG - but played over the internet. SLA Industries is an urban horror roleplaying game set in dark futuristic universe called the World of Progress. The World of Progress spans thousands of worlds, most of which are ruled by the ubiquitous SLA Industries. SLA Industries is a giant megacorporation, the virtually unchallenged power in the World of Progress. Players play the part of Operatives - freelance agents who take jobs from SLA to protect the public and the company.

=== Stuff we run ===

This list is likely to change often, so just check [http://www.game-monitor.com/search.php?search=5punk&type=server Here] for our current servers

[http://www.5punk.co.uk/demo.php Teamspeak server]

[[Radio|5punk Radio]]

'''CS:S''' 217.112.95.67:27015

'''CoD:UO''' 217.112.95.67:28960

=== Apps we use and how to use them. ===

==== Xfire ====
Xfire is an app that acts as an instant messenger with in game support and allows us to easily join other 5punkers in game.

With the 22/9/06 Xfire update, they introduced a [http://www.xfire.com/clans Clan] function, this allows users to add everyone to their contact list easily by joining the 5punk clan [http://www.xfire.com/clans/5punk here], you'll usually be accepted within 24hours.

We also have a list of our xfire usernames and a small app to automatically add everyone, though it isn't always reliable and isn't updated often.

[http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/xfired.php Xfire List]

[http://www.5punk.co.uk/XfireAdd2.exe Auto-Adder]

When signing up at the forum, make sure you add your Xfire username to your forum profile, as this is the core of 5punk, and without Xfire, we wouldn't even be here.

==== Teamspeak ====

Teamspeak is our voice comms medium of choice - given the ease of use, and reasonable licensing terms.

*Server Address: 217.112.95.67:8767
*Server Password: cranberry

==== Hamachi ====

Used to allow us to play older games over the Internet, also allows us to test experimental servers safely and securely.

[http://www.angelfire.com/games5/darkcry/hamachi_eng.htm Basic guide] (placeholder until a 5punk-specific one is made)

If Hamachi is needed for a game, the network to join and password for the network will be posted in the scheduler.

==== Last.fm ====

We have a last.fm group, last.fm is an plug-in for your media player which keeps track of what music you have been playing.

[http://www.last.fm/group/5punk.co.uk]

Sign up and someone will approve you.

==== Nintendo Wii Address Book ====

To allow the sharing of "Miis" and to send messages back and forth with Nintendo's console, you have to exchange Wii system addresses. More info here:
[[Wii Addresses]]

==== Folding@Home ====

[http://folding.stanford.edu/ '''Folding@Home'''] is a distributed computing project -- people from through out the world [http://folding.stanford.edu/download.html '''download'''] and run software to band together to make one of the largest supercomputers in the world. Your participation can help lead to a cure for these diseases:
*Alzheimer's Disease
*Cancer
*Huntington's Disease
*Osteogenesis Imperfecta
*Parkinson's Disease
*Ribosome & antibiotics

Join the [http://fah-web.stanford.edu/cgi-bin/main.py?qtype=teampage&teamnum=51199 '''5punk Team'''] if you care to join the cause. [http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=3334&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 '''Folding@5punk Info''']

=== 5punk Slang/Terminology/Memes. ===

*BEEF - Our name for [[Battlefield 2]] (Battlefield 2 > BF2 > BF > BEEF)
*CoD - Our name for the [[Call of Duty]] series (usually referring to Call of Duty: United Offensive)
*Veal - Sometimes use slang names for Battlefield 2142
*HamAndCheese - Our name for [[Main Page#Hamachi|Hamachi]]. (Also known as "HammyCheese, ChammyHeese Jammyknees")
*Floorware - Software you've found, often by careless people misplacing CDs.
*Deject's mom - The mother of one of our members, often heard screaming in the background of [[Main Page#Teamspeak|Teamspeak]]. "Werd to your mother!"
*Ninja concerts - Cited as the reason for people avoiding arrangements.
*/me bums - Staple greeting of the Eve players, taken from their gentle (sometimes) in-game sodomy.
*CAEK! - Like cake, but better.
*ZOMG! Pie! - Flaky pastry with a nice filling
*This Is Not A Code - It's not a code. Probably.
*REWENGAY - Like revenge, but generally involves more teabagging.
*Magical Gay Fairy Land - World of Warcraft
*[[Charlie]] - Don't ask
*[[liopleurodon|Chaaaaaarlie]] - Seriously, just don't ask.
*CDC - Crudely Drawn Cock. Usually magenta.
*Zombie Tower - A tower of zombies, used to climb to camping Survivors in the Zombie mod for [[Counterstrike| Counter Strike: Source]]
*SNPG - Salmon Ninja Pirate Gayer; a salmon pink ninja-pirate rank icon, used as a punishment

===5punk Archives===

As well as discussion that directly relates to our games, 5punkers also deposit a lot of information within the pages and threads. To aid in finding the information held in these often rambling threads they are archived below.

====[[Cookbook|Geekfood]]====

Threads about food have proved very popular on 5punk, and many recipies have been posted in various threads. A full catalogue of these recipies can be found [[Cookbook|here]].

====Reviews====

5punk has a wealth of gamers of all levels and experience. This makes for an excellent testing ground for most games, and as such we have a reviews forum so that we can share our experiences. Many 5punkers have admitted to trusting the reviews of their fellow gamers to those of magazines. An index of our reviews can be found [[Reviews|here]].

===Site Admins===

'''Woo Elephant Yeah''' - Site Creator

Often referred to as Wey, or Woo (which can be confusing)
5punk is Wey's Baby, as, oddly enough, is Wey's baby.
He is still amazed at how a simple idea has evolved into this rather active gaming community. In May 2007 WEY declared that he was standing down as site owner due to his ever increasing family commitments, but he's still the Daddy of our little family.

'''FatherJack''' - Site Owner

When WEY stepped down as site owner, FatherJack offered to take up the responsibility. It was agreed unanimously, first among the admins and later among the site members, that our foul-mouthed cleric was ideal for the job and with him he has brought new ideas, skills and enthusiasm.

'''Stoat''' - Site Admin

Mustela erminea
Our very own php jedi, Coded the Scheduler and the Discussion board.
Stoat has been there since the birth of 5punk, and without him, we wouldn't have any of the things we have.

'''Dog Pants''' - Site Moderator

After watching his posts for some time, WEY decided to ask Dog Pants to join the 5punk admin team.
Dog Pants has done a wonderful job moderating 5punk's forum, and has helped influence a lot of the recent decisions/suggestions for 5punk.
He can usually be found stumbling around groaning in Urban Dead, or watching Zombie flicks at home.

'''Spoodie''' - Site Moderator/Admin

With more and more of WEY's time being tied up at home, and with the site growing bigger all the time, Spoodie was asked to join the admin team. His calm presence on the forums and web-savvy has allowed him to alleviate the pressure the other admins were beginning to feel and has proved very capable in a crisis.
Spoodie is master of the Impact Text Kittens, and has seen every film, ever.

'''Dr. Kitteny Berk''' - Game Server ([[Bukkake]]) Owner

Quote from WEY:
Abrupt, Rude and quite possibly Obnoxious, Berk speaks his mind and what you see is what you get.
You know where you stand with Berk, and he's the first to admit that. However, without him, 5punk would never have lifted off the ground in the way that it has, and his continuous work, help, time & money has got Bukkake up and running, along with the Shoutcast radio shows as well.
He's the unsung hero, but more a hero without the shiny long blonde hair and chiseled jaw, more of a dark shadowy figure lurking in the corner fixing servers and swearing repeatedly at things whilst snarling.
So to sum up *thinks about words carefully again*, even though Berk can be a bit of a sarcastic foul mouthed bastard, we love him in our very own special way.

==== Others ====

===== [[Team RO-BO]] =====

[[user:Roman Totale|Roman Totale]] and [[user:mrbobbins|MrBobbins]]' team from a CS:S Tournament we held.

Probably won, but as survivors are yet to be found we cannot be sure of this.

Widely believed to be the founding partners of the following website: http://www.deagostini.co.uk/ilovehorses/

'''Gunslinger'''

[[user:Gunslinger|Gunslinger]] was Created by RO-BO using old toaster parts, flips out if he sees a bagel.

So horribly, horribly good at all games.

0.001% of his neural processing runs all NASA orbital navigation and communication systems and he is a technical consultant on [http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/R/richardandjudy/ Richard and Judy]

'''Hehulk'''

Massive [http://www.eve-online.com/ EVE] addict. Claims that [[Main Page#xfire|xfire]] is inaccurate and that this means he has has missed three hundred hours of actual play time due to router issues with ports. Was promoted to moderator on the eve forum just because of the sheer number of hours he plays it.

Also plays BEEF and CSS. Tends to cry hax a lot when losing

'''Pnut'''

5punk's personal Battlefield 2 point resource. An avid fan of Battlefield 2 even though he isnt very good, can often be heard on teamspeak threatening to beat M4niachicken to death with his Keyboard/Mouse/Chair and many other assorted inanimate objects, normally after being sniped for the 9th time.