Call of Duty

2006-08-09T23:17:44Z

81.153.201.154: /* The Juicy Bits */

[[Category:Games]]
[[Image:callofduty.jpg|frame|Call of Duty 2]]
==The Basics==

'''Call of Duty''' (or CoD as we prefer) is traditionally played on a Tuesday evening and comes in three flavours:

Call of Duty,
Call of Duty: United Offensive (bascially an expansion to the original CoD), and
Call of Duty 2 (the sequel)

Of the three CoD: UO is by far the most popular. Not because it has the best graphics, the best gameplay or an amazing physics engine (in fact, physics generally doesn't exist in CoD and if you read carefully you will find this noted in Einstein's Theory of General Relativity), but just because it is enormous fun to run around shooting people whilst talking complete and utter gibberish over [[TeamSpeak]].

==The Juicy Bits==

CoD probably epitomises the 5punk ethos more than any other game - it's not about how many points you get, it's about having fun. In fact you will notice that no description has been given of the game itself so far - that's because in all honesty, it doesn't matter.

Although games such as [[Counterstrike|CS:S]] and [[Battlefield|BEEF]] are more popular, the TeamSpeak conversations during CoD have probably given rise to more hilarity, 5punk in-jokes and general surrealism than any other games put together. It is of course impossible to recreate the atmosphere of a CoD night TeamSpeak session, but below are a few of the things you might want to listen out for if you decide to join in.

==CoD Lingo==

===AIDS Cannon===
You won't have to listen too hard for this one. The AIDS Cannon features on the custom map 'Quarantine' and is effectively a mounted anti-aircraft gun that kills without making a sound! The animation whilst firing also looks amusingly like the player is having a wank. Although the gun itself is silent, it's presence is generally greeted with the singing of either (or sometimes at the same time) of the two songs below...

''AIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDS'' etc

''AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS CANNON!''

===Baths===
These are sources of great power in CoD, and must be protected at all costs. The bigger the bath, the better. Regardless of scores on a map, whoever is deemed to have held on to a bath for the longest amount of time is the winner.

===Teabagging===
The art of placing one's testicles upon the cold, dead eyes of a recently defeated foe. If there is no foe readily available, certain other objects will suffice - a radio, a dead cow, a piano...

===Treebagging===
The art of placings one's testicles in a tree. This is best performed as a group activity.

===Death 'Nade===
The art of releasing a grenade just as you are killed. Anyone teabagging your corpse at that moment will find their testicles rapidly detatched and hurled through the air (into a tree if they are really lucky).

===Ninja roof climbing===
Climbing on roofs! Like a ninja!

===Railings===
Found on a map that begins with 'M'. Whoever thought that iron railings could offer invulnerability?

==Conclusion==
CoDCoDCoDCoDCoDCoDCoDCoD

==Players with this game==

*[http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=256 FatherJack]
*[http://www.5punk.co.uk/phpbb/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=38 Roman Totale]
*[http://www.deagostini.co.uk/ilovehorses/ Mr Bobbins]

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Call of Duty