set in a post apocolyptic USA, one man carries a book from East to West ... through badlands ... with bandits and some cannibals and that ... towards a destination that a voice in his head is telling him to reach for.
… and that's … erm … about it really.
Directed by the Hughes Twins (Albert and Allen), who I had to look up, this movie centers around our lone wandering hero, played by a heavily sunglassed Denzel Washington, looking a bit like Hancock in his autumn years and all of a sudden taking life all seriously. Our hero is Eli. Eli has a book. It’s not actually spelled out in the synopsis but given the movie taglines;
Some will kill to have it. He will kill to protect it.
Deliver us (see what they did there? Clever, that)
Religion is power (oh look they did it again)
Believe in hope (oh, surely not a third time? Who are these people?)
It’s not a great stretch to work it out. Anyhoo, this is the last one of them (no mention is made of the rest of the world outside continental North America, but then we’re used to that by now I guess) and everyone wants it, especially Gary Oldman, who plays Carnegie, a kind of cross between his 5th Elephant character and Ian McShane out of Deadwood but with less swearing. Gary is sort of mayor cum whorehouse pimp cum strongman in this town and he wants the book because it will help him control more people. As social commentary, this was the most interesting concept in the film and one sadly over repeated while under explored.
anyway, the good stuff. Several knife fights that were stupendous, turns out our Eli has vorpal sharpness written all over him, when he tells you “touch me again and you’re not getting that hand back” you’d better take him at his word. There’s a great scene detailing the pulverising of a house with bullets and some vehicles get blowed pretty much well up. It must be said that there were several things that they could have blown up but didn’t, but perhaps they were short on budget after paying for the actors and Denzels rather fetching raybans. Actually the Ray Bans seem to be free in Post apocalyptic Noth America cos just about everybody has a pair, except Carnegie who’s glasses are based on Brick Top’s out of Snatch, although they could be Ray Bans aswell, I’m not too sure.
Visually, anyone who has played the Fallout series of PC games will be completely at home in Eli’s world to the point of wondering what all the fuss is about. Wandering from place to place, looting corpses, killin’ dudz and coming across timber framed houses standing in the middle of devastated wasteland abound. Ofc many of us got a little bored of that in the end, which is why Blizzard put a teleport feature into the later games but never mind, maybe the Hughses never played Brotherhood of Steel or they would have known that wastelands in which very little happens get a bit same-y after a while
Generally there is more gravitas in this movie than even a post apocalyptic landscape centered on the only man capable of saving the mortal soul of the human race deserves and certainly more than any sane movie watcher can realistically be asked to put up with. Perhaps it was the sound quality (or lack thereof) in the little cinema we were in but for heaven’s sake please stop it with the slo-mo walking and electronic organ backing music will you?
Like I said, I had to look up the directors coz I didn’t recognise them. When I did I only saw one thing they’ve done that I knew and that was From Hell, a movie that I rather enjoyed on just about all levels, including as a fan of the GN it was based on (although I seem to be in a minority there but ho hum). Here, I just think they didn’t have enough material to work with and there was no feasible way of keeping the book’s identity as some sort of closing plot twist (although they did manage a very lame one; you’ll see; it’s along the lines of “OMG it was written in comic Sans!” only different). Plus, as a fervent non-god botherer myself, I found it very difficult to connect with and care about the fate of the movie’s real hero …. The book itself. I mean really, the one book that the Koran hasn’t yet caught up with in the race for the entry in the Guinness book of world records for “largest number of human lives taken in my name” and I’m supposed to get emotionally involved with the fight for its survival? Sod that. I so so wanted the final scene to be the book finally opened to reveal the contents of the very last decent quality porn on the planet or a collection of all the best front page entries from B3ta.com, but it was not to be.
I know it sounds like I should be asking for my 2 hours back but, honestly, it’s not like it’s exactly bad per se but for heaven’s sake couldn’t they have put some more plot in? I should probably ask fom 1 of my 2 hours back as, if the plot rhythm was upto the actual contents, I think this would have been over (and better) in an hour and 15, rather than the 2+ hours that it took.
Still, they were some bloody good knife fights.
5 1/2 out of 10
I do love your meandering reviews Bomber. Sounds to me like the people control element would have been a more interesting emphasis than the religious one, but that's a personal bugbear of mine. I'd love to rip it off and set it in to 80s, and call it the TV of Eli.